Nasty Woman

November 4, 2016

When those words were uttered at the debate, I instantly had a flashback of my nastiest exes. I must say I’m no fan of Trump’s rhetoric. But I can relate to the stabby feeling of being demonized by a nasty woman.

In politics, you expect your opponents to be nasty. But when you love a woman and trust her with your heart, you don’t expect her to be nasty. You definitely don’t expect her to play the victim after playing nasty. Because what kind of fucked-up monster does that?

Nasty women are not like other women. They can come off as charming and playful, at first. But as the relationship progresses, you start to see hints of who they really are. By the end of the relationship, the mask is peeled off and you see someone who you don’t even recognize. They demonize you just so they can do horrible things to you. All the wonderful things they said about you are now null and void. 

And when you confront them with all the nasty things they’ve done to you, they just grin. It’s a smug grin that feels like they are mocking you for not realizing how nasty they really are. Because in that instant, you realize that all the love and kindness was an act. That nasty grin tells you these women get a certain satisfaction from punishing men, emasculating men and torturing men. In their eyes, all men are pigs.

Nasty women indulge in grief. They write whole books and articles about it. They will blame you for that grief. But the truth is they’ve known that grief their whole miserable life. Pain is all they know. Pain is in their DNA. You better believe that they will pass that pain onto you. Pain is what makes them so very nasty.

Poor Sebastian

August 29, 2011

This is the story of Sebastian, a young man who married a histrionic woman. If you were to look at a photo of Sebastian now, you would hardly recognize him from his former days. That’s because he’s been transformed by a master manipulator. She tells him how to dress, how to behave… even how to think.

Look closely at photos of them together and you will notice her arm is always over his shoulder, like a leash around his neck.  This subtle body language states who is in control of this relationship. What Sebastian doesn’t realize is he is on a very short leash.

Histrionics are control freaks. This is the only way they can soothe the overwhelming feelings of insecurity that have plagued them since childhood. Their experience has taught them that bad things happen when you lose control.

Histrionics have been abused their whole life. They suffer from C-PTSD (lifelong trauma). This means that normal and healthy defense-mechanisms have been cranked up to abnormal and unhealthy levels to ensure survival. That is why the histrionic is so brutal. A histrionic lives in a dog eat dog world. The histrionic will eat you alive.

Histrionics are predators. They look for people they think they can control. They look for submissive behavior. And if you’re not submissive enough, they will try to break you down. They will soften you up with sob stories.

They will tell you what a horrible family they have. They will tell you they were raped in college. They will tell you they have a mysterious disease that no doctor can find a cause or cure for. She will tell you horror stories of ex-boyfriends who were abusers and stalkers. She will convince you that everyone around her is crazy. Everyone except her. Then she will look to you to save her. She is the damsel in distress and you are her knight in shining armor. It is a fantasy role-play that few are able to resist.

Sebastian has no idea what he signed up for. He is clueless. He doesn’t know about BPD or HPD. He doesn’t know about C-PTSD. He doesn’t realize that he is under her spell. He doesn’t realize that she has him wrapped around her little pinky.

Sure, there were times he noticed that she was a little off. Moody at times. Quick temper. He noticed there were times when she was paranoid (on red alert). And then there were other times when she was careless (like a naive child). But he couldn’t put all the pieces together.

Histrionics are good at fooling most of the people most of the time. Everything is an illusion to fool people into thinking all is well. They can even fool themselves. But for this they must employ mind-bending tactics. They must resort to mind games to keep their partner in check. A partner in check is less likely to leave them. A partner in check will not question their ways. A partner in check is clueless. And that is exactly the way the histrionic likes it.

Because if Sebastian were to wisen up, things would get very hairy. If Sebastian were to start questioning her behavior, she would suddenly become insecure again. Because a partner that questions a histrionic is a sign that he is thinking for himself. It means she is losing control. And a histrionic control freak can not allow that.

If he insists on being his own man, she will find ways to knock him down to size. This is the process of devaluation. When a histrionic feels inferior, she will find a way to drag you down to her level. She wants you to feel as insecure as her. This is when the histrionic engages in acts of infidelity- sex with strange men she just met, maybe after a night of binge drinking. Such behavior has the added benefit of distancing them away from you and sabotaging the relationship. Crisis averted.

If Sebastian were smart enough to know what’s up, he would be quickly shown out the door. There would be no sentimental good-byes. No thanks for the memories. He would be done. He would be expected to “move the fuck on”. And if he didn’t, she would accuse him of stalking her. She would accuse him of being abusive. False-accusations are the histrionic’s most potent weapons. Playing the victim is their first line of defense.

If Sebastian were to suggest she seek help, she would suggest he leave her alone. She would suggest that he was crazy. Everyone is crazy except her. Then she would slam the door, leaving him to reel in pain by himself. A histrionic leaves a relationship in a hurry to find someone else who will save her from this tragic life.

This is the histrionic’s MO. It is well-documented. But histrionics will fight tooth and nail to suppress the mountain of evidence. If you know a histrionic, you know this story well. Unfortunately, it is a true story. These are the telltale signs that you are in a relationship with a woman who suffers from histrionic personality disorder.