Conservative or Liberal, you have to agree Anne Coulter is one angry bitch. I saw her interview with Piers Morgan. Not only was she obnoxious, she couldn’t stop talking about her book.

My god that woman is abrasive. I have to say Piers earned some points with me when he started asking her personal questions about her life. All of a sudden she got really awkward and defensive. She said she doesn’t talk about her personal life because she’s afraid of stalkers. Where have I seen this sort of self-victimization before?

There’s a reason why she talks about public issues and not her own issues. And it’s not because of stalkers or other imagined boogie men. The pained expression on her face says it all. When someone is this uptight, it’s because they are trying really hard to control their emotions. When they have a history of demonizing people, it’s because they are dealing with demons from their past.

What I see is a woman who is compensating for an inferiority complex via self-aggrandizement. A woman who is running away from a dark past, turbulent relationships and all the other things we’ve come to associate with narcissistic/borderline types. We’ve seen this pattern of behavior in liberal grandstanders as well. This has nothing to do with political affiliations.

I think Rosie O’Donnell nailed it when she had this to say about her:

She’s angry if you ask me. She’s full of rage. When you see someone like that, you have to go back to what happened in their childhood… You don’t know what went on in their household.

Good insight Rosie. I’d add that when someone is trying that hard to get people’s attention, there are usually some serious self-esteem issues. And this almost always points to some childhood abuse. This is not just women, you see it with other political extremists like Glenn Beck, Michael Savage and Rush “Oxcontin” Limbaugh.

When a cheater is confronted, they lie. They cover up their tracks with absurd stories. But when they’re busted, they cry. Not real tears. The kind for show. They want you to believe they are “deeply sorry”. But this is just another act. This is how you know you are dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists love the political stage, because they love to grandstand. They love to feel important. But mostly they love themselves. Which means they have little love for those around them.

But it’s not just men who think with their… weiner. My borderline ex knows a lot about cheating. She is a cheater just like Weiner. And yes, sexting is cheating. If you have to hide your behavior, it’s cheating. Cheaters want you to believe their acts of indiscretion are isolated incidents, but the truth will reveal that this is a pattern of behavior. Most likely their parents were cheaters. People don’t just wake up one day and decide they’re going to be cheaters. This misbehavior is ingrained in them from a young age. It should not surprise you that there were multiple women involved with Weiner-gate.

Anthony Weiner should have known better. But when you are conditioned for bad behavior, intelligence is thrown out the window. This behavior suggest a serious personality disorder. If you can’t control your impulses, then you have a serious problem. When your behavior is so destructive it destroys your career and your family, that is a red alert.

Maybe we can all learn from the Congressman’s mistakes. He has taken the first step to recovery. He’s come clean. Admitting your mistakes is the first step to clearing your conscience. But with narcissists, everything is for show. Even a show of remorse. As a narcissist, the possibility of change is slim to none.

Stephanie Hallett is a writer at Ms Magazine and she has a conspiracy theory. According to her and her angry cohorts, we live in a rape culture. Did you know that? Apparently, our society supports rapists and their efforts to rape women. Ms. Hallett has implicated the NY Times as well as the FBI in this conspiracy. It seems the FBI, when they’re not going after America’s most wanted, has been spending their free time making life hard for women who allege rape.

Ms Hallett believes that the FBI’s definition of rape is outdated and limiting. That is, it excludes certain people from claiming victimhood. For instance, people who can’t control their alcohol or sexual impulses. People who lack proper boundaries. People who are prone to lies and manipulation. People who are prone to chaos manufacturing and false accusations. Drama queens, attention whores and troublemakers, no go. And vindictive women who secretly hate men are also left out in the cold. I hope I haven’t excluded anyone. I would hate to have Ms. Hallett point her heat-seeking missiles at me.

Ms Magazine has devoted an entire issue to the topic of rape. But no where do they speak of BPD. Odd, because BP women are more likely to be victimized than the rest of the female population. They are also more likely to indulge in false accusations and other attention-seeking activities. But the editor felt this topic was not worthy of inclusion. If you’re going to talk about rape, tell the whole story. Not just the parts that push your political agenda.

In the end, even if the FBI were to revise their definition of rape to meet Ms. Hallett’s questionable standards, it would do nothing to curb rapists. Monsters like murderers, molesters and rapists tend to not follow rules. Even if you were to lock up all the rapists in the world, self-victimizers and repeat victims will always find ways to claim victimhood. The self-destructive will always find ways to self-destruct. Court justice will do little to console those living with lifelong trauma.

If you truly want to prevent rape, then it’s time to stop the nonsense and the distractions. It’s time to address personal issues like personality disorders and substance abuse. Investigate any questionable instances of rape and you will mostly find a history of both. If you want to stop rape, cut off the supply of victims. Rapists prey on the weak. That includes people who are stuck in a state of victimhood. People who have a long history of victimhood.

Sending angry letters and signing meaningless petitions will do nothing to help people who are stuck in an endless pattern of self-victimization. Misguided advocates think this is a legal and political issue. They could not be more wrong. The solution is not a political one, but a personal one. The women who are most vulnerable to predators are the emotionally damaged. This has nothing to do with how the NY Times or the FBI defines rape. This has everything to do with women who habitually put themselves at risk.

Ms. Hallett and her fellow writers at Ms. magazine are only distracting people from getting the help they desperately need, when they should be encouraging these people to seek it. Read some of the comments left by the readers at Ms. magazine, and you will notice many of them bear a striking resemblance to untreated borderlines. These are emotionally damaged people blindly lashing out with irrational rage.

The following quote is from an article written by a nurse to help her fellow nurses deal with borderline patients:

Most folks of BPD WERE victims at one time. That is not the problem, however. The problem is that the BPD derives benefits in remaining a victim…and will fight tooth and nail to remain one. Lots of rewards, lots of power, lots of attention are won by it.

Fighting “tooth and nail” is what the writers at Ms. magazine do best. Conflict and drama are in their nature. But for all the benefits the borderline thinks they are receiving, there are plenty of nasty side-effects with self-victimization. Rape is just one of the horrible things that can happen to a person who is addicted to victimhood. These are people who are destined for tragedy. They have been conditioned for it. These are people who are obviously starved for attention. But this is the wrong kind.

I find the writers and readers of Ms magazine to be extremely naive. They have this delusional belief that if only the world worked their way, the course of their tragic lives would be magically and dramatically different. They have accused the FBI and the NY Times of being outdated, but I suggest it is the “victim vs victimizer” model that is outdated. The political trash talk is irrelevant and ineffective.

The new age of personal awareness and self-empowerment is upon us. Ms magazine, put down your pitchforks. It’s time for self-reflection. It’s time you got with the program. The world is not out to get you. That is your own paranoid delusion. Antagonizing the world will not save you or womankind. And it certainly won’t make the world sympathetic to your cause. Rape exploitation does nothing to empower women. It merely keeps troubled women in a state of victimhood. If these self-victimizers would just take a good look at themselves, they would realize that they are their worst enemy.

OK all you angry activists out there. If you wanna go apeshit about something. THIS is it. Wanna know why the global economy is in the shitter? Wanna know where your tax money is going? Wanna know where politicians (both Republicans and Democrats) are getting their campaign funding from? This is it. The biggest threat to the US is not terrorism or China, it’s companies like Goldman Sachs. Wake up people.

Just when we thought bigotry and “demonizing the other” had gone out of style, fiscal conservatives (aka money grubbers) have brought it back one more time. Unfortunately, they are appealing to the lowest common denominator- Using mantras like “Let’s take our country back!” and “Secure our borders!”

Who are these people who have supposedly taken our country away from us? Do they look like these people…

Or maybe they look like these people

This racist commercial was paid for by a secret society known as Citizens Against Government Waste. The name would make it seem like this is an org run by ordinary joes like you and me. Well, it turns out they are not so ordinary. It turns out their funding comes from some pretty big Wall Street names. Perhaps you’ve heard of some of them?:

Philip Morris kills millions of citizens a year and now they want us to believe they have our best interest at heart? Really?

Long-time friend of Wall Street, Donald Trump has decided it’s his patriotic duty to run for President. Because he thinks Obama isn’t American enough.

He also thinks China is “eating our lunch”.

He’s upset because he has to buy all his windows from China. Is he a nationalist? Or is he just another Narcissistic Opportunist on the prowl. Another attention-whore seeking media fame at the expense of others. The Donald wants us to believe his allegiance lies with the American people. But I’m thinking his allegiance lies with Donald Trump. But where would I get a silly idea like that?

I wonder if China is eating his steaks too?

His lovely daughter is getting in on the act as well. Here she is crying about how Obama has unfairly treated her daddy’s Wall Street buddies.

Poor Wall Street Power Brokers. They never get a break. Except when we bail them out with trillions of tax-payer dollars. A trillion dollars could buy a lot of lunches. I thought they were against Government Waste? What gives?

These Wall Street Players are right though- The American Way of Life is being threatened. The middle class is disappearing. And American values like Freedom of Religion and American notions like “All Men are Create Equal” are being erased from our collective consciousness.

It seems xenophobia is a good way to distract voters from who the real enemies are. While it is easy to believe that foreigners are invading our small towns and eating our lunch. The fact is our worst enemies might be the ones who call themselves Americans.

Just remember- slick ads cost lots and lots of money. There are only a few people in America who have that kind of money. About 1% of the population. But xenophobia has a much steeper price than what these Fat Cats paid, when you consider that these Hatemongers are eroding National Unity and American Values. Pitting Americans against Americans, to take the focus off the Corporate Looting of America.

A Progressive Abuser?

January 24, 2011

When you think of domestic abuse, you think of a backwards man with beer belly and a wife-beater tank-top. You don’t think of a fashion-forward progressive feminist. But that’s because our view of abuse is very myopic. When we think of an abuse victim, we visualize a housewife with a black eye. And we laugh at a man who claims to have been abused by a woman. It’s sad that, in this day and age, people still don’t recognize the damaging effects of emotional abuse.

It is particularly frustrating for a victim of borderline personality abuse. Because, not only have they been victimized and traumatized, nobody believes it. A borderline leaves wounds that are invisible. No black eye. No bruised arm. Just a lifetime’s worth of psychological damage. If you want to know what effect this type of abuse has on a person, just look at the borderline. Most likely they were abused by a parent with a personality disorder. If you need more proof of BPD abuse, look at the large number of sites and forums started by such victims. It is proof, not only that BPD abuse is real, but it also a testament to how important it is for these victims to be acknowledged.

My borderline ex fancies herself a progressive. She is a liberal activist, a militant feminist and (at one time) a lesbian. Why, she even composts her trash. On her free time, she teaches hip-hop dance to little kids. You don’t get much more progressive than that. She is the last person you would think would be an abuser. But that is exactly why she gets away with her abusive behavior. Some would say the deceit is worse than the abuse itself.

This month my ex is showing her support for woman’s choice. The tagline: I trust women. A noble cause but there is a bit of irony here. As an untreated borderline personality, she has made some really bad choices in her life. The worst being not to seek treatment. It is also ironic that she is asking people to trust women. When she, herself, has shown time and time again that she can not be trusted. Don’t get me wrong. I still trust women (emotionally healthy women). I also support a woman’s right to choose abortion. But I find it a little disingenuous for someone so backwards in her own personal life to pretend she is so progressive in her public life. I actually find it quite offensive.

But this is the kind of disconnect you will find with borderlines. Silent abusers always present one image to the world, while behaving in contradictory ways in private. She describes herself as a complicated woman. But that’s a euphemism for a two-faced woman. On some level, she knows she can be boorish at times, so she compensates by acting like a humanitarian of sorts.

She is all about putting on airs. As a fashion blogger, she has created an image of a glamorous Hollywood starlet. But in private, her behavior has been less than classy. She has embarrassed herself so many times, she has had to move to another country to avoid the shame. As a feminist journalist she writes with moral righteousness. But if you’ve ever bore witness to her abusive side, you would question her morals.

This well-crafted public persona is meant to be a cover up. She knows she is deeply troubled. But rather than confront her personal demons, she has made the choice to cover them up. She has made the choice to avoid acknowledging the pain she has caused others. So much for a woman’s choice. It’s hard to believe someone, who is so socially conscious, can lack so much self-awareness. Until you realize her activism (like her other pursuits) was designed to take her mind off her illness. For a borderline, fighting for social change is easier than fighting for personal change.

But then again, the world is full of hypocritical moralists that preach one thing and then do the exact opposite. Nobody is perfect, but it always seems like the people who work the hardest to portray an upright image are the same ones making everyone’s life miserable. Do I trust women to make good decisions about their own health? Yes. Unless, of course, that woman is an untreated borderline. Then I don’t trust her at all.

Young Feminists Speak Out

January 19, 2011

Tomorrow, Young Feminists Will Speak Out in Santa Monica. What will they speak about? Not sure. But I hope they will speak about borderline personality disorder. Why? Because BPD affects a lot of women, especially young women. Especially, survivors of sexual assault. This is a topic all feminists should care about.

Traditionally, feminists have had a troubled relationship with the male-dominated mental health field. In particular, they have a problem with any type of negative label that might be slapped onto women by said industry. In days gone by, women had been abused or sent to asylums for “hysteria”. It is not hard to figure out why the mistrust is there. Even BPD is seen by some feminists as having negative connotations for women.

But I hope the younger generation will take a new look at mental health. If a feminist can talk about breast cancer, why shouldn’t they be concerned about BPD or any other personality disorder? Did you know borderline women are more likely to be assaulted?(sometimes more than once) These are things all women should know. And as protectors of women, feminists should have a keen interest in seeing BPD women treated for this serious disorder.  If for no other reason, than stopping the suffering of millions of women around the world.

My ex is a feminist. She works for a major feminist publication. She is not only a survivor of sexual assault, but has clear signs of BPD. But yet she has not even gone in for a proper diagnosis. She would rather blog about thrifting shoes, than talk about her struggles with BPD. It’s a shame really. I think women need to hear about other women who have been through this challenging experience. I think her coming out would be a healing experience for her and many other women. Many BP women hide their disorder in shame, because they are afraid to come out. Should it not be a feminist that leads first?

But another reason I think feminists should talk about BPD is because an untreated borderline will often abuse their own partners and children, thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse. As they say, what goes around comes around. If you want to see young women live in a world free of abuse, let’s start with women who perpetrate abuse. I was abused by my ex and I am very aware of the negative effect it has had on me. So now it is my hope that all people, including feminists, will be aware of the negative effect of abusive relationships. This includes borderlines and other silent abusers.

Feminists have always spoken out against abuse of any sort. They have also demanded equality. So… Shouldn’t feminists also speak out against women who abuse men?

More Magazine Article

So maybe you’ve heard that Christine O’Donnell is under investigation by the Feds for illegally using campaign funds to pay her rent and to go bowling. Tsk tsk. When confronted with the allegations, Ms. O’Donnell didn’t exactly deny the allegations but instead accused liberals of mounting a witchhunt. In other words, she wants you to believe she is the victim. Playing the victim is how my ex reacted when I confronted her about her cheating ways.

When I questioned my ex about daily texts from another man, she went on the attack. She accused me of being controlling and overly-jealous. I later found out that she slept with the guy she said was just a friend. After finding out that she had lied to me, I went through her address book to find this guys’ phone number. When she found out, she accused me of not respecting her boundaries. The gal who was sneaking around with some other guy behind my back was accusing me of not respecting boundaries. Yeah, I laughed too.

Bear in mind, this was the second time she had cheated on me. Before then I had never even questioned her loyalty. Never complained when I saw her flirting with other guys. But even when confronted with insurmountable evidence, she still found a way to play the victim or turn the tables on me. When I told her why I had a hard time trusting her, she accused me of holding past misdeeds over her head. When I later blogged about her unsavory behavior, she accused me of humiliating her. It never occurred to her that she had humiliated both of us. This was the self-victimization tactic that she would use over and over again.

You would think someone who was busted over and over again, would be a lot more humble. But this is not how my ex thought. She was indignant when accused of wrongdoing. She was always the victim. Even though she would occasionally admit to being screwed up, somehow she always found a way to drag me down with her. I somehow contributed to her bad behavior. She not only failed to acknowledge her shady behavior, she tried to make it sound like I was overreacting. This was her way of bringing me down to her level. Or what I call “Spreading the Shame”.