June 8, 2011
Conservative or Liberal, you have to agree Anne Coulter is one angry bitch. I saw her interview with Piers Morgan. Not only was she obnoxious, she couldn’t stop talking about her book.
My god that woman is abrasive. I have to say Piers earned some points with me when he started asking her personal questions about her life. All of a sudden she got really awkward and defensive. She said she doesn’t talk about her personal life because she’s afraid of stalkers. Where have I seen this sort of self-victimization before?
There’s a reason why she talks about public issues and not her own issues. And it’s not because of stalkers or other imagined boogie men. The pained expression on her face says it all. When someone is this uptight, it’s because they are trying really hard to control their emotions. When they have a history of demonizing people, it’s because they are dealing with demons from their past.
What I see is a woman who is compensating for an inferiority complex via self-aggrandizement. A woman who is running away from a dark past, turbulent relationships and all the other things we’ve come to associate with narcissistic/borderline types. We’ve seen this pattern of behavior in liberal grandstanders as well. This has nothing to do with political affiliations.
I think Rosie O’Donnell nailed it when she had this to say about her:
She’s angry if you ask me. She’s full of rage. When you see someone like that, you have to go back to what happened in their childhood… You don’t know what went on in their household.
Good insight Rosie. I’d add that when someone is trying that hard to get people’s attention, there are usually some serious self-esteem issues. And this almost always points to some childhood abuse. This is not just women, you see it with other political extremists like Glenn Beck, Michael Savage and Rush “Oxcontin” Limbaugh.
June 7, 2011
When a cheater is confronted, they lie. They cover up their tracks with absurd stories. But when they’re busted, they cry. Not real tears. The kind for show. They want you to believe they are “deeply sorry”. But this is just another act. This is how you know you are dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists love the political stage, because they love to grandstand. They love to feel important. But mostly they love themselves. Which means they have little love for those around them.
But it’s not just men who think with their… weiner. My borderline ex knows a lot about cheating. She is a cheater just like Weiner. And yes, sexting is cheating. If you have to hide your behavior, it’s cheating. Cheaters want you to believe their acts of indiscretion are isolated incidents, but the truth will reveal that this is a pattern of behavior. Most likely their parents were cheaters. People don’t just wake up one day and decide they’re going to be cheaters. This misbehavior is ingrained in them from a young age. It should not surprise you that there were multiple women involved with Weiner-gate.
Anthony Weiner should have known better. But when you are conditioned for bad behavior, intelligence is thrown out the window. This behavior suggest a serious personality disorder. If you can’t control your impulses, then you have a serious problem. When your behavior is so destructive it destroys your career and your family, that is a red alert.
Maybe we can all learn from the Congressman’s mistakes. He has taken the first step to recovery. He’s come clean. Admitting your mistakes is the first step to clearing your conscience. But with narcissists, everything is for show. Even a show of remorse. As a narcissist, the possibility of change is slim to none.
January 24, 2011
When you think of domestic abuse, you think of a backwards man with beer belly and a wife-beater tank-top. You don’t think of a fashion-forward progressive feminist. But that’s because our view of abuse is very myopic. When we think of an abuse victim, we visualize a housewife with a black eye. And we laugh at a man who claims to have been abused by a woman. It’s sad that, in this day and age, people still don’t recognize the damaging effects of emotional abuse.
It is particularly frustrating for a victim of borderline personality abuse. Because, not only have they been victimized and traumatized, nobody believes it. A borderline leaves wounds that are invisible. No black eye. No bruised arm. Just a lifetime’s worth of psychological damage. If you want to know what effect this type of abuse has on a person, just look at the borderline. Most likely they were abused by a parent with a personality disorder. If you need more proof of BPD abuse, look at the large number of sites and forums started by such victims. It is proof, not only that BPD abuse is real, but it also a testament to how important it is for these victims to be acknowledged.
My borderline ex fancies herself a progressive. She is a liberal activist, a militant feminist and (at one time) a lesbian. Why, she even composts her trash. On her free time, she teaches hip-hop dance to little kids. You don’t get much more progressive than that. She is the last person you would think would be an abuser. But that is exactly why she gets away with her abusive behavior. Some would say the deceit is worse than the abuse itself.
This month my ex is showing her support for woman’s choice. The tagline: I trust women. A noble cause but there is a bit of irony here. As an untreated borderline personality, she has made some really bad choices in her life. The worst being not to seek treatment. It is also ironic that she is asking people to trust women. When she, herself, has shown time and time again that she can not be trusted. Don’t get me wrong. I still trust women (emotionally healthy women). I also support a woman’s right to choose abortion. But I find it a little disingenuous for someone so backwards in her own personal life to pretend she is so progressive in her public life. I actually find it quite offensive.
But this is the kind of disconnect you will find with borderlines. Silent abusers always present one image to the world, while behaving in contradictory ways in private. She describes herself as a complicated woman. But that’s a euphemism for a two-faced woman. On some level, she knows she can be boorish at times, so she compensates by acting like a humanitarian of sorts.
She is all about putting on airs. As a fashion blogger, she has created an image of a glamorous Hollywood starlet. But in private, her behavior has been less than classy. She has embarrassed herself so many times, she has had to move to another country to avoid the shame. As a feminist journalist she writes with moral righteousness. But if you’ve ever bore witness to her abusive side, you would question her morals.
This well-crafted public persona is meant to be a cover up. She knows she is deeply troubled. But rather than confront her personal demons, she has made the choice to cover them up. She has made the choice to avoid acknowledging the pain she has caused others. So much for a woman’s choice. It’s hard to believe someone, who is so socially conscious, can lack so much self-awareness. Until you realize her activism (like her other pursuits) was designed to take her mind off her illness. For a borderline, fighting for social change is easier than fighting for personal change.
But then again, the world is full of hypocritical moralists that preach one thing and then do the exact opposite. Nobody is perfect, but it always seems like the people who work the hardest to portray an upright image are the same ones making everyone’s life miserable. Do I trust women to make good decisions about their own health? Yes. Unless, of course, that woman is an untreated borderline. Then I don’t trust her at all.
December 30, 2010
So maybe you’ve heard that Christine O’Donnell is under investigation by the Feds for illegally using campaign funds to pay her rent and to go bowling. Tsk tsk. When confronted with the allegations, Ms. O’Donnell didn’t exactly deny the allegations but instead accused liberals of mounting a witchhunt. In other words, she wants you to believe she is the victim. Playing the victim is how my ex reacted when I confronted her about her cheating ways.
When I questioned my ex about daily texts from another man, she went on the attack. She accused me of being controlling and overly-jealous. I later found out that she slept with the guy she said was just a friend. After finding out that she had lied to me, I went through her address book to find this guys’ phone number. When she found out, she accused me of not respecting her boundaries. The gal who was sneaking around with some other guy behind my back was accusing me of not respecting boundaries. Yeah, I laughed too.
Bear in mind, this was the second time she had cheated on me. Before then I had never even questioned her loyalty. Never complained when I saw her flirting with other guys. But even when confronted with insurmountable evidence, she still found a way to play the victim or turn the tables on me. When I told her why I had a hard time trusting her, she accused me of holding past misdeeds over her head. When I later blogged about her unsavory behavior, she accused me of humiliating her. It never occurred to her that she had humiliated both of us. This was the self-victimization tactic that she would use over and over again.
You would think someone who was busted over and over again, would be a lot more humble. But this is not how my ex thought. She was indignant when accused of wrongdoing. She was always the victim. Even though she would occasionally admit to being screwed up, somehow she always found a way to drag me down with her. I somehow contributed to her bad behavior. She not only failed to acknowledge her shady behavior, she tried to make it sound like I was overreacting. This was her way of bringing me down to her level. Or what I call “Spreading the Shame”.