October 15, 2010
There seems to be some debate over the topic of sexual expression. Little did I know it was such a heated topic. But certain hyper-sensitive individuals who have a preoccupation with shame have made it clear that I need to set the record straight. It seems they are under the impression that I am “shaming” women for expressing their sexuality. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am a big fan of sexy women. In no way am I saying it is unhealthy to express your sexuality. But what I have noticed is there is a big difference between the thought process of a healthy person expressing their sexuality vs the thought process of an unhealthy person.
If a woman wants to prance around half-naked, then more power to her. But if she needs to do this because it’s the only way she can feel validated, then I would say that is an unhealthy state of mind. If a couple wants to tape their lovemaking, have at it. But if this later becomes a blackmail scandal, then you might want to question why you choose the partners that you do. You might want to ask why drama is a constant companion. If you are so drunk that you accidentally end up on GirlsGoneWild without your knowledge, you might want to find your way to an AA meeting. This is not a male or female topic, this is a topic for anyone engaged in sexual acts.
This is not a moral judgment, it’s common sense. Sadly, not everyone has it. Especially if that person has a personality disorder or has experienced some sort of sexual trauma. That’s not my high and mighty arrogance talking, that just happens to be the way it really is. To those who have accused me of “shaming”them, I would suggest that the shame they feel was there long before they met me. Societal pressures aside, such feelings of shame can be the result of sexual assault. If this is not the case, then carry on. But if it is, maybe you should deal with this before you go accusing everyone of shaming you.
August 10, 2010
Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan, and Princess Dianna are a few of the famous people thought to have had Borderline Personality Disorder. What’s fascinating is a person who is unaware they have BPD, may obsess over a character like Marilyn and not even know why. Or perhaps they just know they gravitate towards stories of sad people. In a way, these stories are comforting to them because they are familiar. But it also points out the need for some BPs to glamorize their sadness and loneliness. If nothing else, it’s a reminder that this disorder can have tragic consequences.
August 6, 2010
I ran across an article in The Daily Beast, that portrayed women with Borderline Personality Disorder as the “femme fatale of the new millennium”. The author talked about the allure of a woman prone to wild behavior, and mentioned the most famous of Borderlines (reputed anyways), Marilyn Monroe.
It was one more reminder that the public image of a BP is very different from the private life of a BP. As a society, when we think of people with mental disorders, we think of a sickly person wrapped up in a straitjacket and frizzy hair. But the reality is BPs (at least the highly functioning ones) live amongst us. Some lead, what seem to be, very glamorous lives.
They may be the most put together person you’ve ever met- graceful, beautiful, refined and yes even seductive. But for most BPs, this is an act. Inside the BP may be falling apart at the seams. BPs (especially those with histrionic traits) love to be the center of attention, and you can often find them surrounded by admirers. It is no wonder that most BPs seek out very public lives as actresses, models, singers, dancers, etc. This is their way of seeking out the love and acceptance that they feel is missing. Their attention to their outward appearance is not just a flair for fashion or drama, it is a cover-up operation that has been perfected over a lifetime.
The BP’s intent is to distract the audience from the pain that they are sure no one else can relate to. Which is why a BP can be in a crowded room and still experience profound feelings of loneliness. Look into a journal of a BP, and you might find pages and pages of dark poetry filled with rage and sadness. Look into their past, and you will probably find tragedy after tragedy. The public life of a BP can all seem very glamorous from the outside. But those who know the private side of a BP, also know it is anything but glamorous.