We all seek attention to some degree. But we are looking for someone who goes to unusual extents to seek attention.
When someone makes false-allegations just to claim victimhood, then harmless attention-seeking has crossed over into harmful behavior. We aren’t looking for single acts of attention-seeking. We are looking for consistent patterns of attention-seeking behavior.
Attention-seekers are not subtle (except in their own minds). They leave a trail of drama. If none is to be found, they will create it. If a relationship is going too well, they will look for trouble. They will start fights and pin the blame on you. And when you fight back, they will play the damsel in distress. They will burst into tears. They will play the victim.
Attention-seekers are incapable of real love or intimacy, so they create addictive co-dependent bonds. They create bonds that are impossible to break because they fear abandonment. They tell sob stories to reel you in. They create tragedy to create sympathy. They will feign suffering, so you will not abandon them. They will convince you that they NEED you. If you do not play their game, you will be shown out the door.
Attention-seekers don’t just break up with you. They play you like a yo-yo and then toss you in the trash. They tell you to move on, but secretly they love the attention. They antagonize you and demonize you. They misinterpret everything as an insult. For them, it is a fuzzy line between love and hate (signs of lifelong abuse). If their life resembles a soap opera, it is no coincidence.
These people were designed for chaos and drama. They love to be the center of attention. Not being the center of attention fills them with rage. Their hobbies will include a wide array of attention-seeking activities.
They will dress to say “Look at me!!!!!”. They maintain “fashion blogs” that are really altars for you to worship them upon. They tweet about all the great injustices that have been done unto them. Their Facebook photos are filled with pictures of them with cartoonish faces, dramatic poses and new looks.
The only time they are not looking for attention is when they get caught in the act. The fear of being revealed then replaces the fear of being abandoned. Attention-seekers are serial run-aways (runaway bride). Their shame is so great, they can not deal. They must run away from the scene of the crime. They re-invent themselves, so they can repeat the crime over and over again.
The attention-seeker is an illusionist. They want you to ooh and ahh at their magic, but they don’t want you to know what’s up their sleeve.
They will fight tooth and nail to keep their secrets. If you reveal them for a sham, you will see them disappear into thin air. (see Casey Anthony)