Father’s Day

June 18, 2017

Today, many of us will be honoring our fathers. But not all of us. Many troubled women have ambivalent feelings about their fathers. Show me a Man Hater and I will show you a woman who secretly hates what her father did to her. I’ll show you a woman who seeks out men to punish for her father’s sins… The father that caused her immeasurable pain. 

Being stabbed in the back is a familiar pain for toxic women and so it is a familiar pattern of behavior. Infidelity and the shutting out of loved ones is also hardwired into these cold-hearted women. 

If you allow a troubled woman into your life, you will know that pain. They decided, long ago, that all men are pigs… Before they even met you. 

No matter what you do, you will trigger memories of a father who betrayed them in some way. Prepare to be punished for being a man.

Toxic Woman

June 5, 2017

It has not been easy getting people to recognize their own toxicity. It’s a long, slow journey. And some people are just not willing to examine themselves. My BPDex ran away because she couldn’t handle the truth that I had laid before her feet. All my exes have worked very hard to prove me wrong… By getting married, having kids, living in denial, blaming me for everything, playing the victim… But there are signs that the contents of this blog are finally sinking in. Recently, my BPDex wrote this:

You have a fight with your friend over something you find ridiculous, and you walk away shaking your head, thinking, “What is wrong with her? Why is she so crazy?” But sometimes, when we’re the toxic friend in a relationship, it’s hard to look in the mirror and see what we’re doing wrong. Instead, we shame and blame our friends when they call us out for behaving badly.

Has my BPDex finally turned the corner? Or is she dispensing advice to others… while still blind to her own bad behavior? Has she spent some time reflecting about the way she treats friends and perhaps some time thinking about the way she treated me? Or is this her feigning self-improvement as she has so often done?

She goes on to write about insecurity, identity issues, soul-searching and the importance of counseling. And although she avoids the first person POV, one can see that the struggle has been personal. She is writing from the heart… Taking a break from social commentary and feminist critique… To tackle issues that are much more painful for her to acknowledge.

Like all my exes, self-examination does not come naturally to her. Toxic women are prone to projection and the demonization of others. So to recognize that the toxic person might be the person in the mirror is a huge step for her. 

I have no desire to reconnect with her or any of my toxic exes. I am content being my own person these days. I no longer long for any of that toxic love. The fond memories are too tainted. But it is satisfying to see my words have had an effect on my ex.