February 14, 2016
Believe it or not, this started off as a food blog. But after my traumatic experience with my BPD ex, it quickly turned into an exploration for answers. My eyes have been opened and with each troubled woman I come into contact with, I become more aware of the disorder that has affected many.
That funny cat video above is a good metaphor for what it’s like to be in a relationship that starts off with extreme affection and then takes a sudden turn. You know you are with an emotionally unstable soul when unconditional love turns into inexplicable hostility.
This is a woman who has a fully-charged payload. Explosive reactions are often triggered by memories of her troubled past. You remind her of someone that she use to know and she means to take revenge against those who caused her so much pain.
These women are walking atomic bombs. Do not be fooled by the cuddling and the spooning. At any moment, that turns into backstabbing… a hit and run. Daddy’s little girl was spoiled with affection. But that affection took a dark turn. What that turn may have been is locked away in the attic of her mind… in some dark corner of her heart.
I owe some thanks to my BPD ex. There were troubled women before her and, sadly, after her. But she was the one that helped me fill in the blank. I am finally able to see the pattern of behavior that connects one relationship with another. I can now explain what seems quite puzzling to anyone who has experienced this sudden and dramatic shift from love to hate.
I have even found others with identical experiences. And that has had its own healing effect. Because the biggest scar these vampires leave is the wound of making you think it was somehow your fault. So if you are wondering why the woman, who showered you with so much affection, is now clawing your face and blocking all contact, you will know why. Knowing why is the first step of the healing process. It’s your consolation prize. It won’t feel like it at first, but knowing why helps you learn why you make the choices you do. It helps connect the dots and helps you figure out your own past.