Why This Blog Exists
March 12, 2014
It’s not something I have to explain to people who’ve been through what I’ve been through. These people have shown sincere gratitude for having a place where people appreciate a more rational and scientific explanation for why things go awry in their relationships with traumatized people.
Those who ask why this blog exists are usually the ones fighting tooth and nail to have it shut down. They want to silence this blog because it describes THEM just a little too accurately. THIS makes them uncomfortable. Because when you are a survivor of child abuse, any reminder of that past is DISTURBING.
THEY would have the world ignore their condition (whether you call it BPD, ACOA or C-PTSD). Ignore their condition as THEY jump from one relationship to another with alarming efficiency (Sometimes rushing into marriage). Any body will do as long as it is warm and provides comfort during those long lonely nights.
But whenever a relationship ends in drama and turmoil (because THEY perceive rejection), they want to be able to run for cover. Hide all evidence of their wrongdoing and place ALL the blame on their unsuspecting lovers.
THEY would have you believe that YOU are crazy for pointing out their dysfunction. You have an illness they don’t have a name for. Some call it the TRUTH. And by some, I mean people in the mental health community.
THEY have lots of accusations, but no facts to back it up. Only theories and the support of enablers. Look how much research I’ve provided. THEY have none. Shocking, I know.
THEY hear only what they want to hear. If it doesn’t portray THEM as the victims, THEY’re not interested. THEY assume our facts must be lies and that we have conspired with the medical community to fabricate these lies about the effects of trauma on adult children.
THEY don’t have time to waste on people who don’t buy their bullshit. Not when they are surrounded by people who will condone their behavior and flatter their ego. Even if some are doing it just to get in bed with them.
When THEY are done re-writing history (because they always do), you will be portrayed as the sinister creep and they are always the victim, never the abuser. THIS BLOG reminds THEM that this kind of DEMONIZATION is ABUSE, as is attempts at gaslighting and projection.
This blog reminds them that these abusive acts (while invisible to the untrained eye) can cause long-lasting emotional harm. Chances are they grew up with these acts. So THEY are living proof that such mind games do indeed cause trauma to loved ones.
THEY have magically forgotten all the horrible things they’ve said and done to you. THEY have terrible memory recall when it comes to things that cause them to feel guilt (or god forbid, responsibility). This blog serves as a reminder. How dare we speak of them in a context that is unflattering? How dare we question their victimhood?
Without blogs like this, there is nothing to contradict their wild and imaginative stories. (Except maybe the opinions of psychologists) There is no rational explanation for THEIR madness. There is only fiction created by a mind warped by a lifetime of trauma. Not imagined trauma. Actual trauma.
THEY have no problem telling stories of alcoholic/abusive fathers, childhood rape and other horrific stories. Because THEY want your sympathy. Without your sympathy, they would have no one to manipulate. It is only after they have pulled at your heart-strings can they convince you of things that seem hard to believe.
This blog exists because… THEY exist. Without blogs like this (and the facts that come with it), no one would believe our fantastical stories. But when these stories are told in the context of childhood trauma, then those who read this blog begin to understand why such people exist. They understand why WE are so troubled and why they should be equally troubled.
This is our story. At least, our side of it. Without blogs like this, no one would ever know. They would have to take the word of someone who is so traumatized they don’t know right from wrong, truth from fiction.
THEY are in complete DENIAL. THEY will deny everything you read here. But that is exactly why this blog exists.