Sadness in the Trash

January 11, 2014

A raging borderline from the UK is now in the trash. Like many before her, she could not handle the Truth. It made her foam at the mouth. She lashed out with insults, hoping to belittle me, bait me and take me down… hoping to make me feel as terrible as she does.

She claims we are judging borderlines unfairly. But her rageful comments have only confirmed what we all know to be true and perpetuates the stigma she claims to be fighting.

Had she been more sympathetic to people who have suffered at the hands of untreated borderlines, we might have seen her in a softer light. We might think twice about what science tells us to be true. But she can not help herself. That is her disorder.

She has made the mistake of thinking that I am her enemy. But the reality is she is her own worst enemy.

9 Responses to “Sadness in the Trash”

  1. naples104 said

    the saying should be “heaven knows no anger like love to turned to hate and hell hath no fury like a borderline scorned”

  2. Flopsy said

    BPD’s will rage regardless of nationality. I fail to understand the relevancy of mentioning that she is from the UK.

    • savorydish said

      It was not a matter of nationality. It was meant to identify the commenter without posting her name. I wanted her to know I was speaking to her. And yes there are borderlines around the world.

  3. Wizard said

    “Had she been more sympathetic to people who have suffered at the hands of untreated borderlines, we might have seen her in a softer light.”

    And untreated borderlines is incapable of true empathy, so they can’t be ‘sympathetic.’ Their M.O. is to GARNER sympathy in order to remain the center of attention and mitigate their emotional distress.

    • savorydish said

      Not sure if I totally agree. I agree that they are good at garnering sympathy. Just not totally convinced that they are incapable of sympathy.

      My BP ex was a feminist who sympathized with other people’s suffering all the time. It was an obsession. I had even heard regret in her voice when she spoke about how she treated her past loves. I think their hyper-sensitivity makes them more likely to feel the pain of others.

      But I think this is where things get tricky- their hyper-sensitivity necessitates shutting off that sympathy valve when things get personal. When they cause so much harm that it makes them feel tremendous shame and guilt, I think this is when they suppress and compartmentalize feelings.

      This is when they go into denial or some sort of dissociative state. I could be wrong but I have seen strong evidence over and over again with all the borderline women I’ve known. Somewhere deep inside they know they treat nice guys like shit. That’s when they go into self-protection mode aka denial.

  4. Etherbet said

    I’ve been NC with the second one in my life since late 2013. Under no circumstances am I going back.

    Don’t get me wrong, I still love her. Previously, I’ve coerced her into splitting me White many times after being Black before (just being nice to her relentlessly and witfully). I’ve also outright ignored her for bad behaviour over the years. But every time I got back in her good books, I felt like I lost a part of my usually stone-hard dignity.

    This time she pushed the last button from which there is no return. It was a decade of a wasted, twisted, relationship of nonsense. She feels no remorse . . . I think I’ll join her there.

  5. Reading this blog of yours makes absolute sense to me and I can relate with every single thing that you said. Years ago I dated a guy that had borderline and it was a nightmare and recently I have and friendship with a woman that I went to HighSchool with we have become very close friends best friends and she is borderline and of course at first things were so cool we would have fun and talk and she was just this totally different person and came across as the sweetest thing that has been dealt so many bad hands in her life and believe me she has I’m not belittling that. Then she started to get jealous of me and she’s in love with this guy who is 20 years younger than us and for some reason in her mind she just swears that we are going to fall in love and I want nothing to do with that she is my friend I’m not interested in a boy that is 20 years younger than me. And her mind I have already done God knows what and I don’t understand it because her anger is directed towards me and not at the girl that he has recently found. It is very bizarre I have never been a threat and the threat the real life threat she is so nice to and me she treats like shit and this is even after she has slit her wrists and I have saved her life and try to nurse her back to health she screaming at me because he likes my posts on Facebook? I allowed this to go on for a while because I knew she was hurting but it is gotten ridiculous and I have lost my cool with her twice and totally blew up and yelled but yet somehow it is still my fault about everything but I feel like I am being held emotionally hostage because if I call this friendship off she will kill herself and she knows this about me and obviously knows how to play me and I allow it but it is getting to the point where I am so angry with her I can barely stand to be in the same room with her because pretty soon here it comes over he liked your post and not mine he liked your picture and not mine and I’m like why don’t you yell at his new-found girlfriend and not me I don’t even know him I don’t know why I’m venting I’m just so confused and I know with my ex boyfriend I knew he wasn’t going to change so I had to and I couldn’t take it anymore. I started to emulate his behavior and I feel like I am doing that with her and people are classifying me as a drama queen because I am her friend and she goes and tells people lies about me and that I’m crazy and that I am mean to her and it is not true it makes me angry and sick. I protect her like crazy to people I Shield her from people that are sick of her drama and she has no clue that was me she makes things up and honest to God I think she hates me. I have had to block her on Facebook because of the Hitler campaign thing and I get so angry and I want to stick up for myself but she will blow up my phone and be so sweet and make all those BS Promises of change that never happened. She will acknowledge my feelings for maybe about 10 minutes because she has been abandoned because I have gotten so pissed off but as soon as I forgive her it is back to being jealous and blaming me for this guy she likes liking my stuff on Facebook and not hurt it is so stupid I feel stupid saying it. I guess I’m just reaching out I just happened to come across your blog doing research about borderlines and best friends and I have studied this disorder inside and out that I have never been in a situation where a best friend is a borderline and I feel emotionally taken hostage but yet I love her too there are great things about her but I am feeling really really bad and I don’t feel good after I talk to her or see her anymore and she isn’t bringing me anything but down and she tries to guilt me because I guess I have things that she wants which confuses me because she is a beautiful person but I also know these people have no sense of self. Don’t get me wrong I totally respect borderlines because they feel so deeply and they are Their Own Worst Enemy but I get confused if they are so afraid of abandonment a lot of them do a really good job of running people off and then it is always that person’s fault. Then they can go and say see I told you she abandon me me see I told you she was crazy and a piece of crap blah blah blah I attract borderlines and I wonder if it’s because my mother is 1? I wonder if it’s because I am 2 kind and I let them walk on me and I give them all they need and I get nothing and this is my fault absolutely my fault for allowing it it is like I am closer to her than just a best friend and even a sister and you had mentioned caregiver and that made perfect sense because that is what I’ve been I have been her counselor her strength and her caregiver but yes she goes to people and tell them how bad I am and that I’m crazy? That breaks my heart and it makes me blind with rage. I’m not a narcissist so it isn’t that being the reason why I attract borderlines. I just wonder if it’s because of my mom butt honest to God I hate her sometimes because she’s cruel and says things to me that no mother should ever say I guess I’m just very confused as to why I attract these people like moths to a flame and I’m sorry for going on and on but this actually felt really good I have been needing to do something like this to just get it out to a total stranger that understands borderline. I appreciate your blog here it really struck a chord with me I can relate even though me and this girl are not lovers but it is like we are deeper than sisters and best friends because of the caregiver thing. I’m afraid to turn my ringer off at night in fear that she will drink and slit her wrists and try to call me and I won’t be there thank you for reading this so very much my name is Emily

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    • naples104 said

      there is never a future with a borderline on a level. Not friendship, romance even as an enemy because they are lethal and thrive on punishment and pain when you get to close to the. If you see a cluster B personality disorder in an acquaintance, run and I mean run away and nnever speak with them again.

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