Does Everyone Deserve Love?

October 25, 2013

A commenter named Mar responded to a post about about borderlines and relationships:

I’m sorry for commenting on an old post, but I just found it and I completely agree with you.

I am mentally ill, severely depressed, in fact. And it’s really hard to accept that I can’t be in a relationship, at least for the time being. It pains me, but I know that it’s not something I’m ready to deal with, and I know I’d end up trying to use the other person as a crutch.

I wish people who are also ill stopped shouting “ableist” every time things like relationships are discussed, because it’s not ableism. We have to think about our own well-being as well as other people’s, and a lot of the time that involves not being able to do what we want. Seriously, that’s maturity 101.

Anyway, I’m glad I found this post, because people should stop repeating “everyone deserves love” just because they think it’s a good thing to say.

I found Mar’s maturity to be refreshing. I wish more people with mental illness saw things this clearly. Unfortunately, most Cluster B’s do not see things clearly. Many are carrying around feelings of entitlement that make it hard for them to see love as a responsibility. I recently had to end another relationship, because I felt neither of us was fit for a relationship. It’s hard to do the mature thing, but it’s the right thing to do.

One Response to “Does Everyone Deserve Love?”

  1. Susan T. said

    I wish the ones who hurt others were strong enough to realize this and not get into relationships.

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