Oh, the Suffering

December 13, 2012

20121212-153338.jpg

I should be tired of the endless cries of indignation, but what better way to illustrate my point about BPD then to post comments written by a disgruntled borderline:

I am shocked to read the bashing comments on BPD sufferers on this site. Just dump the psycho bitch is the common idea it seems. I am a 39 year old woman, and I have been married now for 7 years after many turbulent affairs.

I have been suffering from BPD since my teens, but I only got diagnosed 8 years ago. I disclosed my illness to my husband before we tied the knot. I have been seeing several psychiatrists and I have been taking meds for 8 years now. I have even been hospitalized for several weeks. None of it has really helped.

It is very difficult for someone with BPD to find the right help, as most therapists do not want to or do not know how to treat us. Most therapists won’t even return my call when I mention my diagnosis.

Specialized treatment such as DBT is difficult to obtain, and most insurances will not cover it. So don’t go and say that most people with BPD do not seek help, they do but there is limited access due to the limited amount of therapists who are trained to treat BPD, and the reluctance of insurance companies to cover Dialectal Behavorial Therapy and other forms of specialized treatment for BPD.

And this was my response to her:

So if an alcoholic husband beats his wife, we should feel sorry for him because he suffers from an addiction/disease? Abuse is abuse. Even silent psychological abuse.

All abusive personalities suffer from some disorder. That does not excuse their abusive behavior. Their internal pain and tragic past does not justify the transferring of pain onto others. That is what you fail to understand after years of treatment and therapy.

Read Maria’s post. Notice the difference between your attitude and hers. Notice Maria’s humility and concern for others and then take a good look at your own cries of entitlement. One speaks of selflessness and the other is consumed by selfishness and self-pity.

Believe it or not, I know how difficult it can be for borderlines to seek treatment. Thank you for sharing your story but you are only confirming what we already know. Your comments do not change a thing. Those who love BPs suffer when borderlines can not control their emotions. Nothing makes that ok. Not even BPD.

BPD is a lifelong struggle even after treatment. But taking this into consideration does not make BPD any easier to deal with. There is a good reason why most therapists won’t touch BP patients. Lawsuits and false accusations are costly and can ruin anyone’s reputation.

Borderlines are not the innocent victims you paint them to be. Borderlines can be highly toxic, whether they mean to be or not. They ruin lives.

So do no expect sympathy from those who have been ruined by irresponsible borderlines. If you can’t control your abusive behavior, you should not be in a relationship. You are only passing on your pain. YOU are adding to the stigma of BPD.

My husband and I had 4 great years together, however, the last three were tough and my illness is worsening. Most of the men on this forum would advise him to run I suppose. However, would you say the same thing to my husband who vowed to stay true in sickness and health if I had a physical illness? No, that would be considered reprehensible and cowardly.

Why is it reprehensible and cowardly to tell your husband to protect his own well-being? Marriage vows do not obligate one to accept abusive behavior. Suggesting that it does, is highly manipulative. It smells like someone trying to enable their own abusive tendencies. Another reason why therapists won’t touch you.

Here’s more examples of your manipulative ways:

Sometimes I wish my illness was physical and visible; missing a leg, having cancer, battling diabetes. At least I would get some damn compassion from society instead of being stigmatized as a mental patient. Mental illness is taboo as it is, and BPD is one of the most devastating and stigmatizing diagnosis someone can get.

Cancer does not cause people to abuse and betray their loved ones. Missing a leg does not cause one to fly off the deep end. You are comparing apples and oranges. BPD is stigmatized by borderlines who abuse the trust and compassion that is given to them by caring individuals. BPs like yourself screw themselves over.

It is because your illness is not visible that makes it hard for others to protect themselves against toxic borderlines. Your invisibility allows you to move from one victim to another. This last comment is proof that borderlines go to great lengths to maintain invisibility. What is needed is more transparency. Not secrecy. Not censorship at the hands of violent vegetarians.

I had plenty of compassion for my borderline exes. But that compassion was erased when they turned on me. Because of raging borderlines like yourself, there is less compassion in the world. BPD is stigmatized because of your collective behavior. It is not the diagnosis that is devastating. It is the way you behave that is devastating.

Please understand this is an real illness, and that none of your “(ex)” girlfriends” intentionally try to torment you, even if it may feel this way. Instead of bashing them, try to understand them and show some compassion by reading a book like walking on egg shells. You have no idea how we suffer.

75% of people with BPD attempt suicide to end the pain, 10% of us succeed at this. In addition, I believe that BPD is unfairly labeled “a woman’s disease”, and I think it is under diagnosed in men. For example; it took very long for me to get diagnosed, because I am not a cutter. I have a male friend who got recently diagnosed and he is a cutter. So please, read more, judge less.

Whether they intentionally tried to torment me is moot. The only thing that matters is they did torment me. This is not a matter of gender (although 2/3 of BPs are women). It is a matter of abuse. I’ve read plenty. And everything I’ve read has confirmed what I have personally experienced.

Act like an asshole and people will judge you. Know that. Internalize that. If you don’t want to be judged don’t act like an asshole. Don’t act like a violent vegetarian. If you can’t control your assholish tendencies, then don’t expect compassion. That expectation makes you more of an asshole.

If you want more compassion, maybe you should show more compassion for the partners of borderlines. This is where the de-stigmatization process starts.

25 Responses to “Oh, the Suffering”

  1. Sammy C said

    Wow @ SavoryDish , I took time to read the whole exchange here and buddy you hit the nail right on the head, I not going to feel sorry for some bullshit ass whole who thinks its ok to do the shit these BPD /NPD assholes do…Then Run behind enablers and point their lying little 8 to 12 year old fingers in a 38 to 40 year old body and say I’m the victim , What sneaky lying ass holes they are.

  2. Tom T said

    I somewhat agree that BPD are not evil, in my case, Debi is her name. We lived together for 2 years were engaged and she had left me 4 times and I begged her back, the 5th time she moved on to another man and I was devastated. She unleashed in me a codependency that i never knew I had. I had no idea what BPD was until after she left and threatened me with police, told me she hated me… Incredible devaluation and discard and she is a pro at it, but I believe does not know that she is a very sick woman. I am glad she is gone now but I do often think of what will happen to her. She is a pathological liar, she told me she had been married 2x and it was at least 4, had cheated on all of her husbands and now on me. Her mother has nothing to do with her nor does her brother and it was always all their fault as she explained it, and now I know differently. She had been sexually abused early in life by her father and the cycle of fear of abandonment began and every time we were close the bombs would soon explode with her rage. She hit me, kicked me, threw things at me, ruined every holiday and special occasion and never ever apologized, always blamed me and then had sex like a 1000 hooker t make up for her own fear of abandonment. I became so insecure that I believed that all was my fault. This is where I fault the borderline that knows she is one, I found a therapist that treats nothing but borderlines and I have been seeing him for three months and he helped me hugely to understand what she is and what she put me through and the effect that has had on me. If you want help you can get it, it is not cheap but what is the cost of your misery and what is the loss of life and happiness to those that you abuse? I was deeply in love with need to help her, I paid over 39k of her bills helped her drug addict son, bought cars, vacations, paid for her life and she walked out to the arms of another man. Is she evil, I am not sure but she sure is sick. I have been able to move on somewhat and have met a normal woman. I will never forget Debi and the good times but I fear the bad times and I am always looking for the red flags. In a way I am thankful for her education through abuse, I will never let someone like that back in my life. I saved the horrible voice mail that was the last time I heard her voice, threatening me, my children that she claimed to have loved. I have had no contact with her for three moths and have gone through intensive therapy to save my sanity. I am happy to say, the future looks bright for me and I truly worry about her and what will come of her from a compassionate perspective. I will never take her back, I will never take her call or return any correspondence with her, but I still feel badly for her sad pathetic life. May God help all of you that know you are sick and those that don’t know you are, I feel sorry for your victims and what you will put them trough. I went through hell and she lives in hell. I would rather go through hell then live there.

    Tom

  3. naples104 said

    One more thing, if you have suffered at the hands of a BPD that you truly loved just because they tore you down and threw you away like garbage and had sex with your friend like Debi did, you will mourn the loss and grieve it and love her for a long time because of your codependency. I finally realized that I had to grieve the loss and allow my self to go through the denial, bargaining, anger, depression and finally acceptance which I go in and out of. I had severe depression that I fought through. I called old friends and told them I need help. She had alienated all of my male friends and I allowed that to happen and then she had me all to herself and then ripped my soul from me. I was totally alone when she walked out and I thought it was the end of the world for me. Get help my fellow victims, you will need and go find a normal woman that can experience your kindness and that can return the love that she rejected. It is a good feeling when you believe, this was inevitable and it was not your fault. Heal your self my brothers and find peace.

    Tom

  4. Howie said

    SD:
    I admire your commitment to educating the victims as well as imploring the victimizers to take responsibility and seek treatment, all the while enduring the slings and arrows of angry borderlines. You’re in good company. This article very much resembles so many of yours that I’ve read: http://www.shrink4men.com/2012/12/10/comments-from-the-edge-what-your-npdbpd-says-vs-what-she-means/

  5. Lauri said

    You are so right I agree with you. But not every borderline is abusive. Im not abusive. I do agree with you and what I have been trying to say all along that therapist do stigma people with borderline judge them wont help them simply because they have borderline. Its weird the therapsit tell us to go get help when we are geting help from them there therapsit supposed to help but they dont just say go get help and dont help us.

    Its not right it seems now a days therapsit are only taking the easy patients not the hard patinets. When being a therapsit is about helping the hard and easy patients not just the easy patients. Thats why the world is so fucked up now a days because people with worse disporders cant get help because therpaist wont help the, I have seen a lot of wrong in what therapsit have done and this is one of them. I want to be a therapist with all my heart I truley care about people and I know what its like so I will never turn a bordelrine away I will help not just the easy patients but the hard patients too. If you dont want to help the hard patients too then dont be a therapsit. I agree again with you they tell us bordelrines wont get help when there the ones saying they wont help us making it are fault when really its there fault.

    I have seen two therpaist all they have done is hurt me use me and leave me and give up on me }: It hurts like hell and they dont care because of that Im seriously done with therapsit forever bec im sick of them not helping me Im sick of them hurting me and giving up on me leaving me.

    • savorydish said

      Hey Lauri,

      First, thank you for your contribution. I know it can feel like a hostile environment here so I appreciate your good nature.

      The problem is most borderlines don’t even know they are being abusive. When a borderline splits you black, that is abuse. But most people (BPs and Nons) write it off. People tell you to get over it, not knowing the emotional harm that has been caused.

      Many ex-partners of BPs end up in therapy. BPs are masters of the mind fuck. Just ask Mat.

      Betrayal and abandonment are forms of abuse. They know this because they grew up with this pain. They are knowingly causing others pain. Any behavior specialist will tell you this. BPs are products of this kind of abuse.

      Look how screwed up these borderlines are and then tell me this is not abuse. This kind of behavior has a profoundly damaging effect.

      For a loved one, denial of abuse is like being kicked while you’re down. Abuse on top of abuse.You feel like you are imagining the whole thing. To make matters worse, they make you feel like YOU were the problem.

      You don’t understand why someone kicked you in the gut when everything was going so well. You don’t understand why someone was madly in love with you one second and then demonizes you the next. Make no mistake, this is abuse. Denial of abuse is also abuse.

      This blog exists to counter the denial and cover-up that is so prevalent in BPD circles. It is no coincidence that many borderlines become writers and are actively spreading their BP thinking across the internet. This is denial on a massive scale.

      The worst kind of abuser is the one who poses as a victim. This is a BP specialty.

      Many borderline women pose as “feminists” just so they can continue playing the victim. Google “Tiger Beatdown” and you will know what I mean. Google “Stephanie Hallett, Sady Doyle and Mina Jade” and you will see the victim mentality attempting to reach a mainstream audience.

      Most borderlines don’t even know they were a product of abuse. They don’t see the cycle of abuse that has gone on for generations. Generations filled with pathological behavior, raging alcoholism and abuse. When you grow up in this kind of chaotic environment, it is hard to see the forest through the trees.

      Part of the blame goes to society’s narrow definition of abuse. Ask any expert in the field and they will tell you mental abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse. Maybe even more so, because it is easier to hide. Most people scoff at this notion. But this only enables silent abusers to move from one victim to another.

      If you were to interview inmates on death row, you would realize they had parents who were either bi-polar or bp. The effects are real. The BP is evidence of that.

      The effects are not only felt on a personal level, they branch out into every corner of society. Education is the first step to reversing this tide.

  6. naples104 said

    read your blog, it is full of blaming others, I am sorry for you, but that is the issue, blaming others and not taking responsibility. Read a book called the four agreements and embrace the truth all the time and be impeccable with your words. You need help and you blame others that try to help. Find an expert that deals only in cluster B and go see that person, you sound like Debi, blame everyone for not helping her. I am so sorry for you but it is you not the people that you think are not helping. Only you can make your self better, they are merely the guides toward a better life. God bless you and God bless the women that ripped the soul from me, you both need that in your heart. She is on to her next unsuspecting victim and will never admit that she has a problem. You are admitting you are sick, now take responsibility for your therapy and work hard on it.

  7. toughmat said

    Lauri is about to get her asshole ripped open by SD. Lauri is not taking responsibility. Lauri, you sound like the typical borderline- “everyone leaves me and hurts me”. I heard that from the girl i am talking to as well- that i always hurt her and choose her last. I am in therapy too and I have made some progress but its not easy. I dont blame them….therapy takes a lot of hard work and honesty and self reflection. I think perhaps borderlines dont want to do that…they would rather find someone who they can create as bad in order to always end up the helpless victim, damsel in distress, histrionic, narcissist, or any combination of them.

    • lauri said

      Umm okay I dont like drama and Im not going to start a fight. No I never went to therapy for it to end I never went to play the help less victum. I went to therapy as every one else does postive that I would be seeing that same therapsit for a very long time. Didnt turn out like that. I have every right to blame them because I cant get help from them if they kick me out say do not come back. Im not denying what I did to them it was wrong I know that but what they dont realize is I need help for what I did instead of over reacting and saying I had enough. my intentions are never to hurt any one it was to get help crying out for help.

      The therapist did hurt me and use me which takes a toll on me geting hurt over and over when I sit there and take it nice to them there for them when they treat me like trash hurt me and use me. I had enough of that.

      • Sinn said

        Therapy doesn’t work on BPDers as well, because again, they DO NOT take open criticism/reflection well at all. Their whole being is to feel like they’re the ones picked on, used, abused, to the point of grand martyrdom. I’m sure a therapist both tried to emphasize the grand connection we all have to our own feelings and more ways for BPDers to not take the extremes of every person’s reactions to them. This shatters their already fragile image of self and they shut down on the therapy. My ex kept going to multiple therapists herself, wouldn’t do the homework (I didn’t know what it was for, and I blamed the therapists too…we’d just made so much progress together the year we got engaged, I didn’t think it mattered), and in the end, it let us all down.

        She fell in love with an asshole and believed it would be wine and roses…COMPLETELY..w/in a week of an argument over her horrible work conditions. This is not normal for an engagement where you swore your love a couple days earlier. This is what BPDers do and why people speak out against them so much…they turn less trustful as the r/s develops, no matter how good it is, fearing it’s loss, instead of just calming down and going along for the ride, causing what they fear eventually. It’s a Faustian disease period.

    • Sinn said

      ” I think perhaps borderlines dont want to do that…they would rather find someone who they can create as bad in order to always end up the helpless victim, damsel in distress, histrionic, narcissist, or any combination of them.”

      Absolutely right after the honeymoon period, and especially after they “give up”. When you’re always trying to play the victim, you never get to the root and be able to solve the problem. Just turns into a cycle of blaming and running and finding saviors and enablers. That path will never make you stronger, just more dependent and rife for being further used..and soon discarded yourself, which is probably why they have a decent suicide rate. I notice I’m never challenged by a BPDer. I really feel bad for them, but I know the full truth as well..I’ve seen it all and I’ve loved a couple.

  8. toughmat said

    I dont mean to start a fight. I said what i did to sort of show SD and myself that I am learning. Thanks for sharing.

  9. naples104 said

    Read about the attachment theory and stay in therapy and dont give up. Lauri, their is a therapist out there that will treat you, what is your alternative, to be the woman that I was with and just ruin as many lives as you encounter? Knowing you are mentally ill and doing nothing to help your self is evil. At least the woman I was with doesnt really know she is ready for a rubber room. I hope you get help and stop blaming everyone else.

  10. Josh1978 said

    SavoryDish, after reading your blog I have to say that everything you say about borderline people is absolutely true. I spent the last two years of my life with a Borderline and while it initially started out good it eventually ended up bad… really bad. I have never been involved with somebody that was so emotionally abusive and manipulative in my entire life. Sometimes I wonder if she was oblivious to her bullshit or just didn’t care. I am of the firm conviction after being around her that the majority of these people do not want to be helped and instead leave a trail of human wreckage behind them. If anyone out there is in a relationship with a borderline, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!! Your well being is not worth being sacrificed for one person. I was used to fill her emotional and financial needs. I had the pleasure of being gas lit, verbally abused, slandered, and cheated on repeatedly with men that were literally the scum of the earth. When she was done she threatened to ruin my career, threatened my safety, and threatened me with the police after I exposed her repeated infidelities, alcoholism, and drug use. I would love to compare notes with you at any time, send me an e-mail.

  11. naples104 said

    Josh, it sounds like you were with the borderline I lived with for 2 years, get therapy, find someone that knows cluster B and treats BP’s and see that person. It has helped me enormously. My BP, Debi, did all the things you speak of and told me it was my fault. She loved me one second and then hit me, threw things, called the police and then would fuck my brains out like nothing happened. I am so glad she is gone and I found a therapist that has given me an education on what really happened. Find help and heal and find a good woman that has integrated emotions, those that dont, split and wreak havoc on everyone around them.

    Tom

  12. Lauri said

    I have not been in many relationships that includes friend relationships and stuff. I have never really dated. I honestly dont think I ruin lives. With my friends I do not show them this side I dont get attached to them at alll. This has only happened with therapist so far in my life thats it. I only show my therapist this side no one else not my friends no one but therapist so far. Not every borderline ruin lives. I dont think I have or will. I never want to hurt any one. We all have fights with people that cause us to feel hurt by the other person but I wouldnt go to extremes and say its them ruing some ones life. I literaly dont understand it I can truley feel it in my body if I get close to people that side comes out but if I dont then that side doesnt come out. Thats why I dont get close to my friends.

    I dont date because Im scared of geting hurt and them leaving me one day.

    • vildman said

      “I dont date because Im scared of geting hurt and them leaving me one day.”

      Borderlines have abandonment issues on steroids. You suffer what nearly ALL borderlines suffer: an intense desire for intimacy combined with a fear of abandonment. If you do not address this tragic combination, you will be miserable for the rest of your life. Period, end of story. I know, because I’ve seen it. You will find someone, then do the PUSH AND PULL borderline dance of desperately clinging to them, then shoving them away. Left untreated, this will go on and on and you will wind up alone, loveless, and friendless – like nearly all borderlines who never seek the proper treatment. The SHOVING AWAY part of this is simply a mechanism you have developed to shield yourself from the psychic pain of confronting your abandonment issues. It’s easier to shove someone away than it is to confront your own maladapive behavioral techniques and change them.

      Borderlines also suffer from BLACK AND WHITE THINKING. In a borderline’s emotional world, there is no ‘nuance,’ no grey area, no complexity. You are like a 3 year old who sees everyone as either GOOD or BAD, and these judgments vary by the week, the day, or even the minute. Therefore, your judgments about people are skewed because you lack an adult perspective. Again, this Black and White thinking is a defense mechanism you have developed in order to protect yourself from the psychic pain of abandonment.

      Your shrink didn’t hurt or abandon you. More than likely, he or she is simply a HUMAN BEING who doesn’t know how to deal with borderlines. Borderlines are notoriously the hardest patients to treat. They can be draining, frustrating, and even dangerous to one’s career. If you continue to blame your therapist, you will get WORSE, not better. I have also seen this. Borderlines go through therapists like a knife through butter – and it’s ALWAYS the therapists fault. This act is not new to ANYONE here. ‘Permanent victim’ status is old hat wih borderlines.

      You have developed MALADAPTIVE BEHAVIORAL techniques based on an irrational belief system. You must confront his irrational belief system, and change the behavioral techniques that go with it. If you do not – your life will be a wasteland.
      You must also confront and come to terms with what caused
      your abadonmen issues as a child. You MUST experience the emotional pain you’ve worked so hard to avoid so you can heal and become an ADULT. You MUST stop your infantile attempts at rationalizing. You MUST learn how to manage the emotional rollercoaster of your emotions, which serves to push people away.

      Period. End of Story. Good luck,

    • savorydish said

      I’m sorry your life has been so rough. It must be terrible not being able to get close to people. I hope some day you can overcome your
      BPD and you can live a somewhat normal life. Good luck.

  13. vildman said

    And BTW – I can tell you are a borderline by the way you communicate. Your writing is almost EXACTLY like the emails I used to get from my borderline ex. Rambling, incoherent, immature, full of run-on sentences, lacking in mental organization. My ex was 42 years old, but it was like her emails were written by a confused teenager. Basically, your chaotic writing style is indicative of the emotional chaos in your head.

    Not saying this to be mean; just saying it because it’s SO FAMILIAR. It’s run-of-the-mill borderline behavior which many NONs have experienced. Borderlines who have healed and been treated normally show a MARKED improvement in overall communication techniques, because their emotional lives are much less chaotic.

  14. vildman said

    Look at this blog as an exmaple.

    http://fyeahborderlinepeople.tumblr.com/

    I mean, really . . . ‘F__K YEAH, BORDERLINE PEOPLE’? This person wants to be taken seriously, but they want to come right out of the gate rude, obnoxious, and totally unacceptable on a social level. Quite literally, the name of the blog is a manifestation of the illness ITSELF!! Reading on, there’s the usual eternal victim game, chaotic emotional blather, etc, etc. And there’s ALWAYS the whining that ‘No one really cares for them,’ when the truth of the matter is that the more caring a person is, the more the borderline’s ABANDONMENT ISSUES are triggered, and the more the borderline pushes them away!!

    Borderlines foist their emotional chaos onto the world then blame the world for not ‘accepting’ them. The reality is that the emotional hurricane sucks NONs dry until they collapse or move on – BECAUSE THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS. Not scapegoats; not objects; not whipping posts; not emotional palliatives; but HUMANS. And the borderline wants everyone to be empathetic to THEM, but when the time comes be empathetic BACK . . . NO GO. In fact, borderlines will act out at PRECISELY the times when a NON needs support the most. Trust me, I’ve been there.

    A bordeline cannot feel empathy in the truest sense of the word – meaning an ’empathy’ that translates into supportive action and strenghtens relationships. Such empathy requires a degree of INTIMACY that the borderline cannot stand, because intimacy triggers their ABANDONMENT FEARS. So it is precisely at the hard moments when true intimacy and trust are needed that borderline behaviors are triggered. And it’s all because of the BORDERLINE’S EMOTIONAL ILLNESS; it has nothing to do with the rest of the world.

    The writer of his blog doesn’t get this. She’s untreated.

    • Sinn said

      This is, in my opinion -besides SD’s posts-, the best description of they way they operate. I don’t mean it as any insult to any suffering BPDers, but this is the truth. At the very point you need them the most, even if it’s emotional, something has to turn to make it more about them again–ALWAYS. Trust works inversely w/BPDers as well, which makes everything more dangerous and defeating. Anyway, thanks for this.

  15. Lauri said

    Im not Rambling and Im not incoherent. Im 20 by the way. Im not writing a paper for school so I dont care about proper grammer and punction on here. Thanks. I read what you said.

    • savorydish said

      Guys, let’s be careful not to insult people who don’t deserve to be insulted. Lauri has come here peacefully and is a frequent contributor. There’s no need to attack her to disagree with her.

      Let’s show her the same respect we show Nons who contribute. Yes, she has BPD. But she is not the one who harmed us. Let’s not take out our rage on her. Misdirected anger is something we must all be better at controlling.

  16. naples104 said

    Lauri,

    I agree, this woman comes here voluntarily and she should be treated with respect. My relationship with a borderline was horrible, she hit me, kicked me called the police several times and never admitted that she has issues and of course I pointed them out to her all the time and that just caused her to become more enraged. I admire that lauri wants a better life,

    Lauri, find help and work hard at it, you have a chance at a happy life but it will be hard work. Find a mental health professional that does nothing but cluster B personality disorders and read about attachment theory. If you were in Florida near me I could recommend a therapist.

    Guy’s she is a borderline that knows she has issues and we should try to help her. I dont believe for a second that the woman that I was madly in love with and wanted to marry knew she was mentally ill. I also have an issue with co-dependency and I want to fix people and that cannot be done. I have discovered that the relationship with same sex parent is what creates or destroys our ability to have a relationship with the opposite sex as adults, so staying with a borderline past the first incident of rage or splitting and taking them back becomes our issue. I am still terrified if mine reached out that I would be tempted to take her back, thank got she has not reached out. Hang in there Lauri and please for your sake and the sake of the people that may fall in love with you, get help and stay with it.

    Tom

  17. Lauri said

    Thanks savorydish for saying that. Like with any thing out there. There is diffrent severities. Some bordelriens are worse than others. Not every bordelrine is the same. Im so sorry you guys had bad experiances with your ex’s they had no right to hit you and abuse you like that. Im not in florida sorry but its okay Ill be alright Im figuring it out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: