Somebody That I Used to Know

July 13, 2012

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
I told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kinda sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing
I don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough

No, you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
Guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believin it was always something that I’d done

26 Responses to “Somebody That I Used to Know”

  1. savorydish said

    You would not believe how many of these break-up songs were inspired by Borderline women. A borderline break-up is no ordinary break-up. It’s marked by a certain level of brutality. All of sudden, the person who was too sensitive becomes the coldest person you know. A borderline lover who is suffocated by intimacy and niceness will detach and treat you like a stranger.

  2. dskennan said

    Yup. My ex ‘liked’ Gotye on Facebook when this song started to get airplay on the alternative stations last fall. Every time I hear it, chills run through my body… and I think she’s right around the next corner. It’s amazing how such a reaction can develop…

  3. Zee said

    Gotye is chick music. And the chicks who enjoy it are most likely chicks who can relate to it because they’re the chicks Gotye is describing.

  4. savorydish said

    Whether you like the song or not, the lyrics are painfully accurate. Gotye has described a very specific kind of break-up. The most brutal kind. This woman has nuked a relationship, to wipe out all evidence of it. It’s important to ask why a woman would do that.

    This is a person who is reacting to an extreme fear. A fear that normal people just can not relate to. So when they react in this manner it seems totally odd. We now know that this fear is a fear of abandonment.

    A woman who fears abandonment, must cut off all emotional ties. Like Gotye, I would have been fine just being friends. But a borderline woman on the run, will have none of that. Sure, she’ll say “let’s be friends” but what she really means is “where’s the exit?”

    • savorydish said

      In my case, my borderline ex nuked our relationship because I knew too much. She had screwed up one too many times, and so she was desperate to start from scratch. But that is a lie she has told herself. Because there is no starting from scratch when you are carrying that kind of baggage around.

      • savorydish said

        My ex is a serial nuker. Hit and run. She has fooled herself into believing that true love is just around the corner. She is convinced that I am the reason why our relationships failed. She has completely ignored the possibility that she is fucked-up beyond belief. But but that couldn’t possibly be why the relationship failed. Well, that’s according to all her angry activist friends. It’s easy to live in a fantasy world, when enablers support your bullshit story. Too bad the fantasy is actually a living hell.

      • savorydish said

        I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. BPs are not abnormal, they are hyper-normal. They have all the same emotions that we do, but they react to things much more intensely. They are hyper-reactive. It is all or nothing.

        They are either calling you 3 times a day or they accuse YOU of smothering them. One week, they are calling you their soul mate. The next week, they accuse you of stalking them. When things aren’t working in the relationship, they can’t just talk it out. So they react like a child. They smash the relationship to bits and then run away.

        They have disavowed all knowledge of you as a loved one. You are not only a stranger. You are an enemy.

        This is why BPD behavior is described by professionals as crazy-making behavior. Their madness will have you questioning your own sanity.

      • Zee said

        Yep. They are very wary of people who have the ‘goods’ on them. They’re always covering up their pasts, trying to start from scratch . . .

        Our culture has a sexist view about this. Only sociopathic males are supposed to act that way. From my real-world experience, it’s pretty much 50/50 on both sides of the fence. Borderlines women, sociopathic males; two sides of the same coin, IMO.

        It’s funny how borderlines spend so much of their time covering up their pasts, and yet innevitably their emotional lability and maladaptive behaviors reveal exactly what they’re trying to cover up. So not only are they failing to cover up their pasts; they’re repeating it.

        Yet another sad irony. Does it ever end with borderlines?

  5. savorydish said

    If the break-up wasn’t painful enough, borderlines have to add insult to injury. The break-up is almost always preceded by devaluation and betrayal. Partners of these unstable lovers are emotionally bruised and battered before the break-up even happens. The break-up is really a way for the borderline to run away from the scene of the crime.

    • Hi @ SavoryDish ,now again you make a great point, Thus leading to what’s hurt me the most in this whole thing . After looking at the whole thing without anger which is hard for me most times , I was being bullied she picked me out the crowds just so she could dump her rotting soul onto me. Being that I played competitive sports from 8 to 21 , I used to beat the hell out of bullies , And like I have said before , she put my life in jeopardy so maybe I should be grateful to her for her actions .

    • Well I have never gotten angry @Savorydish for you removing any comments that were twisted , I am human I am capable of getting angry . I am not mantic ,and not am I troll , you will never know what I endured a year and a half ago. The thing that hurts as well is this has turned me into a whistle blower…., how shameful.

      • savorydish said

        I don’t have a problem with you getting mad. BPD does that to a person. I just need you to think twice before you type. That includes not responding to other people’s comments when you’re in the heat of the moment. Also, you type in a stream of consciousness style and it’s a little hard to follow. If you could make a conscious effort to make your post clear and to the point, that would be helpful. If people can’t understand what you’re saying, it distracts from the thread. But other than that, I value your contribution and support.

    • Zee said

      “The break-up is really a way for the borderline to run away from the scene of the crime.”

      PRECISELY. Well said.

      In reference to borderlines being attracted to ‘sensitive’ people; a former therapist of mine, who worked for a few years on a BPD ward, said that borderlines are attracted like bees to honey to people with unresolved emotional problems. It’s like they have sonar for it. Borderline behaviors such as Idealization and Mirroring, for example, work GREAT on people with codependency issues, abandonment issues, damaged self-esteem, etc.

      This is how the Borderline’s survival mechanism works. It seeks that which will be open to it. A codependent or a person with damaged self-esteem will be much more open to idealization, for example, and will fall for it even if they are AWARE that something creepy is going on. Normal people can fall for it as well, but a person with their psychic/emotional issues is especially susceptible. Basically, nature chooses the easiest path.

      • @ Zee I know you are right in what you are saying , but in my case I went in after waiting for what I thought was the right person , See if you really knew me buddy I have been what you would call a semi playboy most of my life so for this one the BPD , I just took one look and was like yeah yeah this is the one …..And you are right again her shot now that I have had a while to look at it was very creepy and ducked up

      • savorydish said

        I wouldn’t call myself a playboy, but I was definitely not looking for a relationship. Actually, it almost always seems like BPs appear in my life when I least expect a relationship. But that’s how I meet them. I meet them when I’m looking for some casual fun. And they are almost always happy to oblige. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that “fun” was just bait.

        Within weeks, the borderline was reeling me into a relationship. Borderlines love emotionally unavailable men (aka players aka playboys). They are somehow able to convince these hardened playboys that they are the ONE. But as soon as you give in, they start pushing you away. This is the push and pull mind-fuck BPs are notorious for.

      • @Zee just a little history on me , I was a football player , reported to summer camp in 1984 with a guy I am sure most people know…..Mr Steve Atwater,Now you know where I played college football…, I have always had women but I have never been out to hurt anyone….., on another note we will win the National Title this year….I’ll be at the Alabama and LSU games this year….now the reason I fell for this BPD is among other things I came out a house where being a good man was taught , honor not being a jag off ….so I had talks with this BPD and she swore this is what she wanted and needed.

      • That’s fucked up , and you wouldn’t believe that in the end she told me that she needed a man that would come and leave, in other words I was around too much. And hell as early as April of 2011 , we started dating in Dec. Of 2010 , she would go out with certain women and the very next day tell me that her girlfriends say that I might be a stalker , I swear to ya that we had this conversation …..wow

      • savorydish said

        Fucked-up women hang around other fucked-up women. That should not be a shocker. These are women who love to play victim and shout accusations of rape, stalking, molestation, etc.. They are trying to tell you (in their fucked-up way) that something horrible happened to them when they were young. You were the scapegoat for past injustices. A fucked-up woman can’t confront her father for raping her, but she can accuse you of being a stalker. See how that works?

      • But she would always call me to come over that same day…Guy I was just green to this shit , not anymore but I was then.

      • @Savory dish and @Zee What can I say I was stupid as they say a sucker for love….., every time she pulled some of her shit , I would make a excuse for the behavior. Like oh man she just don’t know you well enough yet, or man it’s only been a couple of months she needs more time. This shit got me into this mess.

      • Zee said

        Sammy . . . 1st off, you’re not stupid. You just didn’t know the score. Second; you need to slow down, partner. It sounds like you’re running on a few galons of espresso. For everyone’s sake, take your time and try to make your posts a little more coherent. No insult meant; we just want to help – and we can’t do that if you’re going 100 miles an hour.

      • Ok @ Zee but I think I might be posting too fast or in a row and Savory dish doesn’t have time to place the stream in order, I will try to slow down maybe that’s what the problem is…Sorry guys.

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