Going Too Far

April 30, 2012

Every once and a while, I’ll read blogs like Tiger Beatdown to keep up to date on what histrionics and the mentally unstable are screaming about these days. Usually, I just roll my eyes at the melodramatics and the “I’m a victim” parade. However, I recently read something that concerned me:

*GAG GAG GLUCK* You have discovered the only vocables worth hearing from Sady’s cock-stuffed maw…die tr*nny whore…[slut walk] is a parade for people who suffer from Histrionic Personality Disorder aka Attention Whores…I know where you live, r#tard…why don’t you do the world a favour and jump off a bridge…Feminazi…

For the record, this is not cool. I am all for calling out histrionics, even expressing rage, but this crosses the line. The commenter above is suggesting violence and rape. And that is never ever OK. That is just plain wrong.

Please people, let’s regain our sanity. I am no stranger to the hatred of histrionic personalities, but this is not the solution. This is crossing the line. The words used above are even offensive to me.

Even though I have had similar threats made to me by people from Tiger Beatdown, I would never condone this as a way of retaliation. Call-outs and put-downs are one thing. Threats of violence and rape are quite another.

If you don’t know what the difference is, then you too may have some serious issues that need to be addressed. Misogyny is just as despicable as misandry. Threats of rape just as horrific as false allegations of rape.

If you are the person who posted that comment above, you are not welcome here. Please get some help. All you’ve done is make it easier for histrionics to claim victimhood.

31 Responses to “Going Too Far”

  1. savorydish said

    Women like Sady and Smith deserve to be put in their place, but not like this. These women are already fucked up in the head. You are only feeding the disease. This only makes you look worse than them. And that is not easy.

    These women are no victims. As histrionics they have no shame about exploiting the young and naive. They have no problem exploiting the topic of rape and violence. They have no problem stirring up trouble and then screaming for help when people retaliate.

    Just a year ago, Sady and Garland sent their rabid masses to raid my camp. You better believe I got my fair share of death threats, including people threatening to chop off my man parts. But not being histrionic, I laughed it off.

    I have that luxury. I have the luxury of seeing the world through a nuanced lens. I am not prone to paranoia and irrational fears. I don’t go calling 911 if someone looks at me the wrong way. I am not them. I am better than that.

    If you read the link I provided, you will see the kids at Tiger Beatdown are having a “feel sorry for me” fest. The threats of violence and rape are proof positive that they are indeed damsels in distress. Poor poor troublemakers. All they did was tell the truth.

    But where was their indignation, when their own people were issuing death threats to me??? They claim people are trying to shut them down with fear tactics. Are they outraged because someone else has stolen their own tactics? How are they victims if they are employing the same brutal tactics?

    THINK about this, ladies. I’m talking to you Stephanie Hallett, Sady Doyle, SE Smith and you too Garland Grey. You are now getting a taste of your own bile. And while I find it distasteful, I am not surprised. What goes around, comes around.

    You are the creator of your own chaos. But you are too blind to see it. All you do is draw attention to yourself and scream bloody murder when you get it. Notice how chaos and drama follows you wherever you go. Notice how fucked up people are drawn to you like flies to honey? Coincidence? Or part of your disorder?

    Rest assured, I have no desire to shut you down. I want people to witness the drama. I want people to see this disorder in action. You are making it easy to show how dysfunctional you people really are.

  2. Sammy said

    WOW …..@SavoryDish ….Somebody was really pissed off here Savory…, But you are right We as the sane ones should not cross the line…I mean even some of the things I say ….I know at times I sound like I want to kill her…..But I never would …cause then she wins…See they hate us cause we have things they don’t and would do anything to drag us under with them even if it means putting us in jail Etc. What they lack is a real personality , and a heart , we know how to love , judge emotions , they don’t…so they hate ….let them hate, they pretend to be big time leaders when its all smoke and mirrors …., But don’t help em , let a therapist help their fucked up asses……LOL…., All they are going to do is go to the therapist and try to talk him into fucking them…and then run back and say …see even the doctors are fuck up…LOL, These people are lame……to the 9th power…..!!!

    • savorydish said

      Histrionic personalities have a talent for spreading rage. But clearly that person has other issues on top of that. The last thing I want is that whacko being associated with this blog. We can hold histrionics accountable without having to resort to death threats. We have every right to fight back. But we have to draw the line somewhere. I’m all for taking the war to their front. I’m all for giving them a taste of what they’ve been serving. But we have to be better than them. The Truth is painful enough, we don’t have to add threats of bodily harm.

      • savorydish said

        The last thing we want to do is give them fodder for their victimhood. They want us to send threats their way, so they can say “see, we are victims”. They want people to feel sorry for them. They are begging for sorrow. That is their disease. All this because mommy and daddy didn’t love them enough.

      • savorydish said

        Publicly, they feign outrage. Secretly, they love the attention. At the very least, this is proof that these women are addicted to victimhood.

      • savorydish said

        By her own admission, S.E. Smith (the target of the threat) is not mentally well:

        Those stories in the news that I read every week remind me that outward expressions of mental illness can endanger me, and that having large numbers of people aware that I am mentally ill could also be dangerous to me.

        Being mentally ill means that I am more likely to be shot by police. I am more likely to be raped or assaulted, and ignored when I file a report. I am more likely to be institutionalized, to be condemned as an unfit parent (if I wanted to parent), to be denied employment or fired because my workplace refuses to accommodate me. To be falsely convicted of a crime.

        These are the things I think about when I tell myself I should stop fronting, the reminder that being mentally ill already means I have a target on my back. That the only thing saving me may be my ability to compartmentalize, to front like it’s going out of style, to convince everyone around me that everything is just fine.

        I’m not sure what her exact diagnosis is, but I’m sure you can guess. So my question to her is- why are you still doing this? Not that I care about her well-being. But I am just curious. Why would a person (who clearly suffers from low self-esteem, paranoia, fragile emotions and a major victim complex) subject herself to public ridicule and threats?

        Why “front” and pretend everything is fine, when nothing could be further from the truth?

        These are questions that should be asked by all the people at Tiger Beatdown. You’ve got “beatdown” in your name. What kind of response were you expecting? You would have to be mad to think that everything was going to be fine.

      • savorydish said

        ps- compartmentalizing and fronting is not a solution to mental illness. That’s called denial. You are actually compounding the damage that has already been done. The solution would be to seek help and remove yourself from situations that could possibly cause more mental harm. Wise up, sister. Stop spreading the crazies around. You aren’t helping anybody. Least of all, yourself.

      • savorydish said

        Leave feminism and activism to women who are of sound mind and body. You are only fooling yourself if you believe you represent all women. You represent 2% of the female population afflicted with your illness. Stop fronting.

  3. savorydish said

    If you want to know what an enabler looks like, read the comment section of Tiger Beatdown. Here you will find commenters applauding the mentally ill for their “courage”, but what they are actually doing is encouraging a disordered person to act out. When you reward bad behavior, you get more bad behavior. A person with low self-esteem is conditioned to seek it out.

    That person will actually go out of their way to encourage others to victimize them, because they know they will be praised for their courage down the road.

    This makes no sense to someone with self-esteem. But to someone who has zero self-esteem, they will take any positive reinforcement they can get. This is the motivation behind self-victimization.

    • savorydish said

      Dear Beatdowners,

      It’s crazy to think you can create an online “beatdown” culture and not think that beatdown won’t come back your way. Even crazier is to play victim. Do you know what this looks like??? It looks like baiting. One of the many well-documented passive-aggressive tactics used by abusive borderlines. Stop the craziness. If not for the 98% of the population, do it for yourselves.

  4. savorydish said

    When most people go to war, they send in mentally and physically strong people who have gone through rigorous training. Not so when Tiger Beatdown goes to war. This war is being led by people who are severly traumatized, mentally ill and emotionally fragile. So fragile, they must post trigger warnings all over their own blog. Because if they don’t, people will break down into trembling and tears.

    I state this not to pour salt in their wounds, but to put this whole thing in perspective. Only then, do you see the madness of it all. These people need treatment, not war.

    • savorydish said

      Besides stirring up the hornets nest, what do these self-proclaimed activists think they are accomplishing? Raising awareness? Amongst whom? Are the mentally ill becoming less ill? Where is the awareness of their own disorder? Or are they too busy compartmentalizing and fronting?

      It seems to me they are distracting themselves from getting the help they need. It seems they are putting on one big circus act for themselves. But nobody seems to be getting better. They actually seem to be getting worse. All that awareness-raising and nobody has gotten wiser. Huh. How does that work?

      Could it be they are all fooling themselves into thinking activism will save their soul? Do they think that they can change the world when they have failed to change themselves??? Inquiring minds want to know.

  5. Zee said

    One of the problems in dealing with BPD’s is getting sucked into their rage. This is a prime example of ‘They’ll make you sick before you make them better.’ Raging out at BPD’s is a sure sign that a NON needs to step back and get their own head together.

    Raging out at a BPD is EXACTLY what they want. They FEED off of it! That’s what emotional vampires do. With my BPD ex, I could have called her a stupid whore to her face (I probably did) and she would translate that as ‘Yay!! He still wants to talk to me!!” They just don’t get it. They never will.

    They don’t understand our ‘feelings’ or our ‘anger.’ It takes empathy to do that. BPD’s are empathy-deficient (no matter what they say). They will simply take your anger and your rage and drink it like Gatorade. In short . . . they will be nourished, and you will be damaged.

    Savory’s approach is much better. Do your homework, keep your eyes open, and calmly state the truth. THAT’S what BPD’s hate the most. If you want to see a BPD spiral out of control, calmly tell them the truth and tell them you’re not playing anymore. Trust me, it works. Nothing pissed my ex off more than a calm, empathetic letter which said that I needed space to deal with my own situation. She flipped. She was like ‘Fuck you!!’

    Which . . . BTW . . . is another sign of BPD. Incongruent responses to normal, everyday situations. Only a sick person believes that ‘Go fuck yourself’ means ‘I love you,’ while ‘I love you but I need some space’ means ‘I hate you, go die.’

    • savorydish said

      Yep. The things that come out of an untreated borderline’s mouth would make a sailor blush. It’s like they have Tourette’s. The comment left at Tiger Beatdown’s doorstep was shocking, but no more shocking than the comments they left in my inbox. The only difference is I wasn’t reduced to tears nor did I call the coast guard.

      Don’t feel too sorry for these “damsels in distress”. As you can tell by their post, they are loving the attention. It gives them street cred amongst the other attention whores.

  6. savorydish said

    There is a very important observation to be made here. When given a choice between a world filled with peace or a world filled with conflict. The untreated borderline tends to choose the latter. This is not courage (as the folks at TB would suggest). This is a self-destructive streak that is embedded in the borderline’s personality.

    You will see this pattern of behavior in their intimate relationships as well. When given a choice to part amicably or hit and run. Guess which one the contentious borderline will choose?

    Antagonizing people is in their blood, even people who are near and dear. Especially people who are near and dear. If the borderline is in fierce denial, they will be unable to see this pattern of behavior. They lack the REAL courage needed to examine one’s self.

    • savorydish said

      Bullshitting is a way of life for the borderline in denial. Women like SE Smith, Sady Doyle, Mina Jade and Stephanie Hallett excel at bullshitting. They are masters of bullshit. They lack the COURAGE to be honest with others and themselves. So they engage in flights of fancy. They fancy themselves warrior princesses fighting for social justice. But that is just a bunch of horseshit.

      The only thing these women are fighting for is staying in denial. They will claw your face if you tell them the truth. And then they will run, screaming for help. Fight and flight. Aggressive behavior followed by passive-aggressive behavior. This is how they roll.

      • savorydish said

        BPs are known for crying wolf. That’s their thing. Society should be skeptical whenever a BP cries wolf.

        There’s a reason why most therapists are reluctant to take on BPs as clients. There’s a reason why the justice system ignores a BP’s cries. Because the people, who know, know that BPs have a loose grip on reality, a distorted view of reality.

        Science teaches us that these women cry wolf, because of the wolves in their past. But it also teaches us they will continue to see wolves even if none exists. That is what happens when women are traumatized at a young age. These are facts we can not ignore.

  7. Zee said

    Borderlines seek out conflict because of the emotional energy it generates. Essentially, borderlines are emotionally dead because they were emotionally ‘murdered’ as children. Sad, really.

    What makes it worse over time is the maladaptive behaviors they take on to survive. The behaviors form a kind of ‘callous’ over the original trauma and push the ‘truth’ deeper and deeper into hiding. The lack of ‘identity,’ or sense of ‘self,’ is made worse as time goes on and different personas are adapted and/or discarded as the original abandondment trauma is recreated over and over again, primarily through failed relationships. It’s a brutal way to live.

    This probably explains the overwhelming sense of terror and existential dread I felt when I EXPERIENCED my ex’s sickness firsthand. I had allowed myself to be pulled into the vortex. It was like standing at the edge of a cliff looking down into a bottomless abyss. I don’t mean to wax poetic here; that’s actually how I FELT. It was a sudden flash of “I have to get the fuck out of here or I’m gonna die!!”

    • savorydish said

      I saw old photos of my ex when we were still together. And I too noticed that she changed her look every time a relationship failed. I assumed it was a way to start fresh but maybe they do lose their self every time they push down the trauma.

      • savorydish said

        Lindsay Lohan is a perfect example of identity disturbance. As her alcohol abuse becomes more pronounced so too do the changes to her appearance.

      • Zee said

        I emphatically DO believe that they erode what little identities they have with every abandonment they cause. (Note how I said CAUSE and not ‘suffer.’) They never start fresh; they just recycle, but each time with worse garbage. If anything, they probably tend to walk around with Frankenstein identities made up of various bits and pieces from other people.

        It’s a common occurence that every time a NON recycles back into a relationship with a BPD, the relationship gets worse, never better. Letting a BPD know they can get away with insanity with no consequences only strengthens and encourages their insanity. Doesn’t it make sense that a BPD is actually doing the same thing to HERSELF internally with every self-inflicted abandonment trauma? It’s like she’s feeding the sick person inside her, and beating the healthy person who’s trying to take over. (I say ‘healthy’ person because, in a sense, when a BPD tries to have a relationship, it’s like she’s trying on ‘normal’ for a bit to see if it fits.)

      • savorydish said

        “Trying on normal” is a great phrase. I might steal it and use it for the title of an upcoming post. It’s a perfect way to describe how abusive borderlines dabble with semi-healthy relationships. I say “semi”, because no relationship with a BP is healthy. But it’s all relative. Isn’t it? Ultimately, normal is not a good fit, which is why they end up running away. They can only keep up the act for so long. Being in a normal relationship fills them with fear. The fear that they will be revealed as a sham.

      • Zee said

        You are more than welcome to steal the phrase. You do good work here, brother.

        Are you familiar with A.J.Marahi’s work? As a recovered Borderline and therapist, she has a wealth of insight for NONs. Her stuff has helped me a lot.

        Basically, she contends that a Borderline develops a fake ‘person’ inside herself to deal with their unresolved trauma. This fake ‘person’ is always fighting with the ‘real’ person who’s also in there, and the fake person will do ANYTHING to survive and dominate. When the ‘real’ person pokes her head out or tries to take charge, the fake person goes battle-ready and beats her back into submission.

        As a believing person myself, I think that what Mahari is referring to is the ‘soul.’ But regardless of the nomenclature, it makes sense. Oddly, her work reminds me of C.S. Lewis. I don’t know why . . .

        Anyway . . . her long essay on relationships with Borderlines is a must read, IMO. You have to pay for it, but it’s worth it.

      • savorydish said

        Thank you. I have linked to her work before. I’ll have to check out that article.

  8. savorydish said

    Poor poor Sady Doyle. She claims that all the bad press has made her unemployable. These women insist that the world is out to silence them and make them unemployable. The world is out to get them (paranoia+narcissism). It has nothing to do with Sady Doyle acting like an internet asshole. Of course not.

    Just a year ago, Sady and Garland ordered their goons (proxies) to silence this blog. They did their best (or worst). How ironic that they should be crying about internet threats, when they have a documented history of issuing threats and attempting to silence people they don’t agree with. When you become familiar with Cluster B types, you become familiar with PROJECTION.

    I have no desire to make Sady Doyle unemployable. I could care less about her employment. Although, I do wish she would stop spreading her distorted view of the world amongst the young and naive, the distorted views of a person who has been traumatized by lifelong abuse.

    The truth is nobody is doing a better job of making Sady look bad, than Sady herself. Borderlines are their own worst enemy.

    • savorydish said

      Attention whores are committed to making themselves feel important. In their distorted minds, drama equals a meaningful life. This is the histrionic trying to fill the emptiness inside. If it weren’t for the drama, nobody would pay attention to them.

      So it essential that the drama always be present. I remember Sady Doyle posting a graph that she had created to demonstrate the correlation between drama and being important. This is the mind set of an internent asshole. Narcissism gone wild.

      The worst thing we can do is feed this narcissism with threats. To a normal person, a threat is a threat. To a disordered mind, a threat is attention, a false sense of importance. Read the comment section of TB. Witness the circle jerk.

      • savorydish said

        I call this behavior “milking the pepper spray”. This is classic self-victimization.:

        The goal of Self-Victimization is to control the responses of other people in one of two ways:

        Divert attention away from acts of abuse by claiming that the abuse was justified based on another person’s bad behavior (typically the victim)
        Solicit sympathy from others in order to gain their assistance in supporting or enabling the abuse of a victim – also known as proxy recruitment.
        It is very common for perpetrators of abuse to engage in self-victimization. This serves two purposes:

        Justification to themselves – as a way of dealing with the cognitive dissonance that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves.
        Justification to others – as a way of escaping harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from people whom they wish to please or impress.

      • savorydish said

        Before you go feeling sorry for these damsels in distress, you might want to read this oldie but goodie:

      • savorydish said

        It doesn’t take courage to PLAY VICTIM. It does take a good amount of courage to be honest with yourself and get the help you need.

      • savorydish said

        The comment section at TB has been closed for this topic. After 140 comments by enabler/co-dependent types, one can see why histrionics write posts like this. They are looking for validation. And they get plenty of it on a blog like TB. SE Smith and Sady Doyle are doing a good job of recruiting dysfunctional followers. Ever wonder how cults get started?

        Interesting to note that not one of these commenters addressed the issue of HPD. They completely ignored that part and went straight into victim mode. Amazing how oblivious these people are. The fog is thick with delusional histrionics.

  9. Zee said

    Enablers stay enablers until the get a red-hot poker in the eye. Most people only learn by the 2×4 method.

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