Slut Shaming Revisited

April 24, 2012

My post, titled Slut Shaming, still remains the most read by 100 to 1. This should tell you who my audience is. If anyone is obsessed, it is these so-called activists. These people are obsessed with slut shaming.

What you may not know is that women who fight against slut-shaming also have a history of perpetuating the very image they are trying to fight. A borderline’s life is filled with tragic irony. This is the result of an ambivalent mind. A mind that is torn between polar opposites.

So why are these women, in particular, sensitive to slut shaming? They would like you to believe all women are subject to this. But this simply is not true. The majority of “slut shamers” are women. What we have here is 2% of the female population accusing the 98% of the population of engaging in “slut shaming”.

How are normal healthy individuals suppose to react when they observe disordered people who are out of control? How are we suppose to react when we see activists praising such people for their “courage”. The courage to act out in self-destructive ways??? They would have you believe there is nothing wrong with this behavior. In their child-like minds, they should not be admonished for their carefree behavior.

I beg to differ. Carefree behavior stops being carefree when allegations of rape are being thrown around. It stops being carefree, when people who are in a committed relationship are having sex with strange men in the stairwell of a garages. It stops being carefree when “activists” are taking up tax dollars to pass laws that make them feel better about themselves.

Stephanie Hallett, a long time proponent of troubled women and proud supporter of the effort to redefine rape to include women who cannot control their alcohol and their sexual impulses, noted this:

the fact that at least 22 percent of rapes are committed using alcohol and drugs, and some studies put that number as high as 77 percent.

So what does this fact tell you? Well, if you’re an activist seeking to prove the existence of rape culture, it says that predators are getting women drunk so they can rape them. What’s that, you say? Young boys go to parties to get drunk and have sex with young girls? Get out. I don’t believe it. You mean to say they are not looking for stimulating conversation? Maybe these activists see something we don’t see.

But hold the feminist presses. If you are an addiction specialist (an objective observer), you will see something very different than what these activists (a not so objective observer) would like you to see. A specialist will see a pattern of self-victimization and instantly recognize the presence of a personality disorder via childhood trauma. What they are observing is that 2% of the female population are repeatedly engaged in shockingly bad behavior. They are observing the behavior of a woman who was most likely sexually abused as a child.

If you are a woman who suffers from BPD and you were traumatized by childhood sexual abuse, you see predators everywhere. You are freaked out by things that go bump in the night. You go to a party and you see a pit of predators. You  have an overwhelming feeling that the world is out to get you. Your life is governed by fear and the avoidance of it. If this sounds familiar to you, then there’s a pretty good change that you fit this profile.

If you remove the filter of a feminist’s agenda, then you are left with this fact: Women who were sexually abused as children often self-medicate with alcohol, drugs and sex. They often subject themselves to repeat SELF-victimization and they are plagued by SELF-destructive behavior. But you will never hear this from the lips of an activist. For this bit of information, you must turn to the medical community and other reliable sources of information.

In other words, these are irrefutable FACTS. To deny these facts shows a profound level of DENIAL. These so-called activists are denying reality by distorting it. They are obsessed with pointing out boogie men. They are denying the TRUTH because the TRUTH is too horrible to accept.

Irrational activists will try to accuse me of shaming women who express their sexuality. Trust me, the furthest thing from my mind is stripping women of their sexuality. The shame these women (these 2%ers) feel is not due to an expression of sexuality. The shame these women feel is due to their inability to control their sexuality, like an adult. The problem is these women express their sexuality inappropriately. They use sex as a weapon, to lash out at the world and themselves. The problem is these women have a troubled relationship with sex, which is why sex brings nothing but misery for these women.

This is not just a case of women having a gay-old time. These are troubled women who are acting out (sexually) as a result of sexualized trauma. In addition, they are causing emotional harm to others and then claiming victimhood. This is not about freedom of expression as some activists would package it. This is the results of sexual abuse manifesting itself in troubling ways.

Let us not confuse these activist for compassionate human beings. Overly-sensitive perhaps, but this is not compassion. This is a tortured soul looking for company. Misery loves company. When Mina Jade posts her concern for animals on death row (a noble cause for concern), this is a borderline projecting her feelings of victimhood/doom onto other sad creatures. When my ex would obsessively read books about sad women, she too was looking for a kindred soul.

But I will remind you- not one of these activists had any sympathy for the boyfriend of the young woman pictured below. None of them understood why he would be filled with rage after finding out his girlfriend had sex with another man in a stairwell of a garage. Not one of these activists had the decency to call for personal responsibility.

If you can’t control your behavior when you drink, then you shouldn’t be drinking. If you don’t want sexual attention, then you shouldn’t dress like you do. If you can’t stay faithful, then don’t commit others to a relationship. So simple, but yet even the most intelligent activist can’t comprehend these simple concepts. They refuse to. They are indignant at the mere suggestion of personal responsibility. They can’t be bothered with common sense.

People with personality disorders bring emotional harm to others, and then they can’t understand why people place shame upon them. They are absolutely clueless.

These are not women. These are troubled little girls trapped in the body of women. Girls that do whatever they want, with whomever they want, wherever they want. These girls like to play games. These are girls who know how to pull on your heart strings. Girls who know how to manipulate and distort the TRUTH. And then they wonder why the world shames them.

These are women who have the emotional IQ of a three-year old child. Everything has matured in these women other than their emotions. This is why they can be so juvenile and irresponsible at times. They were emotionally frozen at the time they were sexually assaulted, doomed to replay the drama of their tragic past. A tragic past that extends way beyond their turbulent college years.

Hypersexuality is almost always a sign that someone was sexualized at a very young age, at an inappropriate age. Somewhere they learned that sexual behavior is how you get attention. From an early age, they were rewarded for this type of behavior. This type of behavior was permanently etched into their brain. This is why drama follows these women wherever they go. This is why these women encounter slut shaming more than any other woman. Do not let women like Mina Jade convince you that their childhood was nothing but sunshine and roses. Her condition tells us otherwise.

When these women are not obsessed about slut shaming, they are obsessed with rape. One should ask why these two always go hand in hand in the world of feminist activism. Stephanie Hallett, once again, is an expert in this field:

The new definition will force us to talk about what rape really means, and understand that all victims are real victims, not just those who are violently forced into vaginal-penile penetration.

For years, rape meant violently forced vaginal-penile penetration. But thanks to the likes of Stephanie Hallett, rape now includes two drunken college kids having sex in the back seat of a car. There is a big problem when troubled women (women who have a history of seeking attention and a secret hatred of men) are interpreting drunken sex as rape. It smells a lot like entrapment. It seems to be an alarming trend.

All victims are victims unless they aren’t really victims. Rape is rape except when it isn’t rape. Sometimes what is interpreted as rape is actually a survivor recalling memories repressed since childhood. The survivors of childhood sexual abuse often have trouble with memory recall, because their mind is filled with emotionally-charged memories of their tragic past. Imagine a computer trying to work when sparks are flying around inside. When trauma is left untreated, there is always the very real possibility that the trauma survivor is interpreting present day events through the filter of their past.

Yes, these women were victims at one time. The problems is they continue to play the victim. They are obsessed with victimhood. The problem is many of these women never addressed their past and therefore are filled with unresolved rage and shame.  The problem is they are bringing these unresolved emotions into their present-day adult relationships, even the casual ones that happen in the back seat of cars and the stairwells of garages.

If you have spent any time perusing through activist/feminist blogs, you will notice that they are littered with trigger warnings. Why is that? When someone has been sexually assaulted, anything relating to rape can trigger violent emotions. When that someone is a borderline personality, the triggers are even more sensitive, the reactions- more violent.

Many of these troubled women are claiming they were raped in their adulthood. But I suspect they were raped long before they could remember. I suspect their demons reside in their childhood when their BPD was still in its infancy. I suspect they are confusing current memories with past memories. These suspicions are based on scientific fact.

By claiming rape, these women are trying to understand why they have lived with shame their whole life. They are struggling to understand why sex triggers memories of rape. These women are struggling to make sense of their past by looking for victimhood in their present. They are imagining rape where it does not exist because somewhere in their past, it did exist.

Activists like Stephanie Hallett, like to present troubled women (the 2%ers) as an oppressed minority. But in fact, that is why they are so troubled. These self-appointed victims are addicted to the benefits that come with playing the victim. These benefits include attention and sympathy for women who behave in selfish and self-destructive ways. This is the kind of behavior that is associated with adults who were abused as children.

You can disagree with all of these observations, but you would be disagreeing with scientific FACT. In the fight between scientific fact and feminist theory, science always wins.


23 Responses to “Slut Shaming Revisited”

  1. savorydish said

    Untreated survivors/borderlines have a tendency to spread the chaos that is going on inside their head.

    They pose as activist so they can spread their hatred and fear of mankind. 2% of the population trying to convince 98% of the world that their distorted view of the world is right.

    They pose as victims so they can prove they are right.

    They pose as girlfriends and wives, but manage to spread their fear of intimacy by sabotaging their relationships and antagonizing their loved ones.

    Chaos begets more chaos. When do we say, “enough is enough”?

    • savorydish said

      Activists, like Stephanie Hallett, want the world to be more tolerant of dysfunctional people. Rather than have survivors seek treatment, they insist you must accomodate their dysfunctional behavior. They will sign petitions to bully you into adopting their distorted views.

      Survivors can not claim they were traumatized by rape and then suggest that there is nothing wrong with them. That defies logic and science. Either you were traumatized or you weren’t. You can not claim you were raped and then speak as if you are of sound mind. Because you’re not. Your thought process has been disrupted by a sexually violent act, therefore your mind is a mess.

      The only way to clean up that mess is treatment. Not by staging protests, or signing petitions. Treatment.

  2. Zee said

    “Rather than have survivors seek treatment, they insist you must accomodate their dysfunctional behavior.”

    Classis BPD behavior. “How DARE you not put up with my horrible behavior, you asshole??!!”

    You know, we live in a therapy culture that supposedly values ’emotion’ above all else. And yet, when I express misgivings about a woman because of bad vibes, all I hear from people is that I’m being ‘judgmental,’ I should ‘gake it easy,’ etc. So the whole therapy culture thing is really bullshit. What I’m supposed to do is make room for the emotions of fucked up people, but ignore my own emotional insights. Right. Got it.

    NO MORE. I get Cluster B vibes from a woman, I’m OUTTA THERE. Screw what other people say. I have EXPERIENCE and REASON on my side. No longer do I ignore my gut when it tells me to run. No longer do I listen to the palaver of half-wits and do-gooders and hysterics.

  3. savorydish said

    My borderline ex always has a sob story. It’s always something- abusive parents, allergies, eczema, abusive boyfriends. She wants you to feel sorry for her. She wants you to acknowledge her pain (the pain of a borderline). It is important to know this, before one considers the validity of her rape allegations.

    Because someone like my ex will feign a panic attack. She will imagine victimization out of thin air. She is very good at getting you to feel sorry for her. This is her act. She is a professional victim. She has literally made a career out of playing the victim.

    It is this constant “look at me” mentality that shows how BPD can look a lot like HPD or NPD. This the borderline evolving into a narcissist. Whenever my borderline ex was experiencing too much pain (esp. the pain of self-awareness) she would escape into flights of fancy.

    She would keep herself busy with burlesque dancing, fashion blogging and rabid activism. These were activities that put the focus on the outside, therefore drawing attention away from the storm going on inside.

    The obsession with slut shaming and rape is the borderline avoiding self-examination.

  4. Zee said

    Really great comments here. I’ve yet to visit a forum that shows as much insight into Cluster B disorders than this one. Cogent advice, clear-headed analysis, real-world experience; it’s all here.

    Until one experiences it firsthand, one cannot really understand that BPD is RELATIONAL in nature. It is a RELATIONAL DISORDER that is triggered by the every-day fluctuations in personal relationships that most people – with a few bumps and hiccups – handle with relative ease.

    IMO – the most damaging ingredients of BPD are unresolved abandonment trauma and lack of identity. This ‘terrible two’ cannot help but create a toxic individual.

    It is exactly when you need your significant BPD ‘other’ in your corner that the disorder will flare up. Sick family member in the hospital? The BPD will create drama to remain the center of attention. After all, if she’s not the center of attention, she doesn’t exist (re: lack of identity). Trouble at work? The BPD will create trouble at home to keep the focus on HER. Trouble with the kids? You ‘aint seen nothing yet!! Wait ’till the BPD unleashes in you!!

    It can – and often does – get even worse once troubles are resolved. When I started dating my ex BPD, I was in a crappy state. I was making good money, but I had gotten divorced two years prior and my dad had died during that time. I’d been living with a roomate in a shitty apartment, when by all rights I should have been living on my own. Truth is, I was hiding out, resentful and depressed, but trying my best to put on a good game face.

    As most of us know, a man in that state is prime pickings for BPD idealization. And with all my wordly experience, I fell for it hook line and sinker. But about six months into the relationship, something started to happen. I got my shit together. I got my own place, started hitting the gym, picked up my music hobby again. You would think that a sigficant other might be happy for me for doing these things, right? WRONG. All of these actions flared the BPD’s abandonment trauma and she acted out worse than she’d ever had. You see, if I got ‘better,’ I would realize what a useles nutjob she was (apart from sex) and leave her. And so . . . she preempted me. She caused HER OWN abandonment and fulfilled her own prophecy.

    BPD’s go through life doing this over and over and over and over again. It’s like having a deathly fear of clowns, but going to the circus every day. It is a life of bitter irony re-lived with every personal relationship. Idealization, devaluation, chaos-creation, abandonment, hoovering . . . once you learn about these things, you can set your watch to them.

    BPD’s live at the edge of a black abyss. The question is whether or not we want to live there with them. And the reality we have to face is that they will drag us into that abyss way sooner than we’ll ever make them ‘better.’ I was a newbie when I met my BPD ex; she’d had DECADES of experience being insane. Who do you think will win THAT fight?

    • savorydish said

      Thanks for the kind words of support. And thank you for pointing out a borderline’s tendency to fulfill their own prophecies of abandonment. They are their worst enemy.

  5. savorydish said

    Women who are obsessed with slut shaming, will do anything to avoid it. This includes fabricating stories of rape. The disturbed mind would rather play the victim than accept responsibility for their behavior. These are women who do not want to address their personal issues. This is the darkside of denial. The self-harming borderline, in becoming more of a social creature, has learned to spread their pain out to others. And then they wonder why people say bad things about them.

    • savorydish said

      Activists like Stephanie Hallett want you to stop judging women with bad reputations. But you should be asking why these women have such bad reputations. You should ask why these women move from city to city, hoping to start fresh.

      The truth is, without treatment, there is no fresh start. Only an illusion created by a troubled mind.

      • savorydish said

        Stephanie Hallett would like you to believe that she is some kind of hero for making it easier for borderline women to claim victimhood. She wants you to applaud her self-serving efforts. She wants to be made a saint. She doesn’t care if she has to ruin someone else’s reputation to get there. She only cares about her reputation.

  6. Zee said

    This is all really just classic PROJECTION, isn’t it? The BPD cannot deal with the reality they’ve created, so they project their emotional chaos onto others as a survival mechanism. In this situation, the BPD is just doing it en masse.

    Makes sense when you look at it this way, right?

    • savorydish said

      Absolutely. With an untreated borderline shame equals pain. In the past, that pain was so intense that the only way to relieve it was to cut their wrists. As they get older,they learn to project that pain/shame onto others. Think of it as a really fucked up version of emotional Hot Potato.

      Rather than deal with their conflicted emotions, the simple solution is to play the victim. If you fail to buy their story, then you are accused of “victim blaming”, you are part of the “rape culture”. This how they keep the lie going. They demonize critics and doubters, while recruiting proxies and enablers. It seems like a lot of work. But then again, we’re talking about a lot of pain.

      The untreated BP’s life is nothing but an intricate lie. At times, they don’t even know what the truth is. That is how elaborate the deception is. You may ask, “what is the motivation?” And the answer is simple- survival. A borderline’s brain is wired like an animal in the wild. It survives at all costs. Even if the cost is the lives and reputation of those around them.

      In the movie Saw, a kidnapped woman is strapped to a device that threatens to kill her. The only way she can get out of the device is to use the key that is buried in the stomach of a man who is paralyzed. Driven by the fear of death, she stabs the man repeatedly until she can retrieve the key. A gruesome scene, but there is some insight into what must be going on in the mind of a borderline. When someone is desperate to escape pain, the normal rules of decency no longer apply.

      A borderline who is unwilling to own her misdeeds, is a borderline who has zero chance of recovery. She has fooled herself into believing the transferring of pain is a solution. But all she is doing is creating more hatred and stigma for women like her. Other women will continue to call her a “slut” and men will continue to call her a “bitch”. No amount of politics and petition-signing will change that.

      • Zee said

        Good point, Savory. It’s claimed that as BPD’s get older, their symptoms dissipate or go away. This is probably because physical self-harm such as cutting or suicide attempts stop. But the BPD doesn’t go away; it just sublimates into other, more covert and sophisicated behaviors.

        The idea in itself that so many mental health ‘professionals’ claim that BPD ‘goes away’ because physical self-harm stops just proves how idiotic some of these ‘professionals’ are.

      • savorydish said

        It does reveal the limitations of the mental health profession. Very little is known about BPD, even amongst professionals. Most professionals are reading about BPD from medical journals or observing patients in controlled settings. The concept of BPD is merely an educated guess at what might be going on.

        But as we know, BPD doesn’t really show its full colors in controlled settings or in a doctor’s office. It quietly reveals itself behind closed doors. The darkside of BPD reveals itself when intimacy threatens the safety of the borderline. Unless the professional has been in a relationship with a borderline, they are getting their information second-hand.

      • savorydish said

        Sublimation is very germane to this discussion. Silent abusers are merely more sophisticated abusers. Emotional black eyes are invisible to the public. In the age of the internet, borderlines have utilized the power of social media to spread their lies. Rape stories become ways to rally worldwide support for dysfunctional and self-destructive behavior. The rape story is the ultimate weapon for a woman who has played the damsel in distress since childhood. These women understand that rape is an explosive topic and they aren’t afraid to use it to their advantage. They exploit it and therefore they make a mockery of it.

        True victims of rape don’t advertise it or go on parade. The evidence of their rape is rarely questionable.

  7. savorydish said

    http://gratiaetnatura.wordpress.com/category/borderline-personality-disorder-2/

    So many mental problems are due, in part, to someone believing they are the slave of fate, that given one’s background, one cannot help the way he is. For that reason, he refuses to take responsibility for his actions and blames others for bad things that happen to him. The most difficult obstacle psychologists and psychiatrists have dealing with borderline people is the borderline’s refusal to take responsibility.

    • Zee said

      Your comments, and your blog post, are very informative.

      My addition to your thoughts is that in order for one to take responsibility for one’s actions, one must be grounded enough in actual REALITY to see the effects of one’s actions. One cannot judge a situation properly if one does not see the truth (that is, the reality) of a situation. Trying to get someone who is living in their OWN reality to see the truth of ACTUAL REALITY is like going to the hardware store for eggs.

      Here’s where we run a-foul (is that a hyphenated word?) of the current zeitgeist in the mental health proffesion. The mental health field – particularly ‘talk’ therapy – is currently ruled by a very dangerous brand of moral reletavism. Typical of the talk therapist is the notion that he or she provides a ‘non-judgmental’ atmosphere for the patient(s). While this might prove worthy (for example, declining to call someone a ‘loser’ because they have trouble sustaining relationships), it tends to spill over into the entire lexicon of the therapuetic relationship, so that the therapist refuses to judge the merit of ANY action in terms of values or morals. So . . . for example, when a BPD patient unwittingly reveals that she has tried to play her boyfriend’s family against him or vice versa, the therapist does not respond with the REALITY of what she has done or with the necessary value judgment that such an action is damaging, immoral, and unworthy of adult relationships.

      In short: if the therapist CANNOT or WILL NOT respond with, “Wow, that’s an extremely damaging thing to do. You need to learn how not to do that,” nothing will not accomplished.

      Put more simply: if a therapist can stop being a politically correct PUSSY, a BPD has a chance. If not . . .

      And even if the therapist CAN stop being a pussy, consider that in order to get the BPD to take responsibility for what she has done, the therapist must first deconstruct the false reality that the BPD has created in order to show the truth of her actions. This is a huge, time-intensive and emotionally draining effort that, understandably, many therapists are unwilling to take.

      • savorydish said

        “Typical of the talk therapist is the notion that he or she provides a ‘non-judgmental’ atmosphere for the patient(s).”

        So true. My ex went to a “feminist” therapist who never addressed her issues. My ex didn’t want to be judged so she found a therapist who decided everyone else was to blame. This therapist sent her off after three sessions.

        That is why traditional therapy is useless when it comes to BPD.
        BPD requires a specialist who can see through the bullshit. It also requires the BP to be brutally honest with themselves and take personal responsibility.

        Feminism teaches naive women that survivors know what’s best for themselves. They obviously know nothing about BPD. It doesn’t even begin to consider that part of their disease is self-destructive behavior and distorted thinking. That is why feminists should not speak about things they know nothing about. A woman with a Phd in Feminist Theory is not going to cut it.

  8. savorydish said

    2% of the population sounds like a small and insignificant amount, until you take into account the number of people who attend Slut Walk every year. I also believe the percentage to be higher than 2%. The number of bordelines/histrionics is difficult to ascertain. Especially, since they are so good at hiding their disorder.

  9. Zee said

    “A woman with a Phd in Feminist Theory is not going to cut it.”

    How true!! The victim ideology of feminism keeps a lot of sick women ensared in their own sickness. It also does a lot to screw up otherwise normal women.

    • savorydish said

      And to think, I use to support feminism when it was about empowering women. But now histrionics have made it about false-victimhood.

      The whole movement has been appropriated by the mentally ill. It has become a tool borderlines use to manipulate public opinion. To convince everyone that they are the victims.

      If you’re in a relationship with a borderline, you know that’s not true. False accusations are not restricted to men who have sex with women in stairwells. If a BP splits you black, you will get the same treatment. They will convince everyone that you’re the bad guy. They might even threaten to call the police.

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