Guess Who’s Back?

March 1, 2012

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I’ll give you a hint: Her name rhymes with Tina Fey, but she’s nowhere near as charming and funny. Mina Jade is doing a terrible job of avoiding guys like me:

Of course I have issues! I am proud of them, and the way I handle them. Most of you NONs would have been suicidal long ago, or, more likely, would, up to this very day, sit in a raunchy bar in an alcoholic purple haze, brooding that life was unjust to you… Or you would go to get “treatment”, and, as a part of it, would swallow Sertraline, Demerol, Xanax like sweets.

Most people are proud of things like accomplishments and good deeds. Not Mina Jade. She’s proud of being an abusive/dysfunctional asshole. Good for you, Mina Jade. Dare to dream! Mina Jade wears her disorder with pride and a ribbon on her lapel. None of that medication/treatment bullshit for her. That’s for sissies.

She works on her trauma by herself. She doesn’t need a trained therapist. She’s a regular DIYer. I’m all for self-help, but not when it comes to something as severe as BPD. That’s like trying to do brain surgery in your garage. Let’s leave the treatment of lifelong trauma to the professionals, not to people who are mentally ill. You can see what the results are when someone who is prone to self-delusions tries to fix herself. Just as alcoholics and drug addicts can not recover on their own, people with BPD can not treat themselves. The fact that Mina Jade has given herself a clean bill of health, should tell you how delusional she is.

I, on the other hand, work on my life on my own. Yes, it is lonely behind the wall – but I will never ease this loneliness with a selfless nice guy like you. Ever…

Ever wonder why women like Mina Jade would rather be around low-lifes and scumbags? Because most likely she was raised by abusive parents. Most likely she grew up around low-lifes and scumbags. The Mina Jades of the world don’t have to pretend to be normal, if the people around them are just as fucked up. It’s hard work to put on an act of well-being. Imagine how stressful it is to worry that your partner might find out that your nice girl image is just an act.

Who needs selfless nice guys, when you can settle for an asshole who will beat the shit out of you or share a crack pipe with you? Am I right? Women like Mina and my borderline ex loooove shady guys. They hang around shady guys all the time. Then they’re shocked when those shady guys have sex with them after they pass out. Newsflash: that’s what shady guys do.

I use to think my family was dysfunctional. That was until my ex starting telling me how screwed up her family was. While her mom was messing around with her “guy friends”, daddy dearest was making out with her lesbian fiance. Douchebags are brought into this world by other douchebags. This is why they run away from nice guys. Nice guys are foreign to them. Just being around someone who is well-adjusted makes them feel insecure. Douchebags make them feel at home and at ease.

Borderline persons hide their illness, because ones like you treat them as if they had leprosy. As if people would choose their illnesses willingly! When I first realised that I had “issues”, I hid it from myself, I could not accept it. I dreaded that I would be like the human monsters we see in psychological horrors about serial murderers or stalkers, perhaps even worse than those. It was in my mid-teens. It took about two years that I understood that whilst I would face difficulties where most people would not, I would not have blackouts or invisible friends or would not lose my mind completely. There IS a difference between BPD and, let’s say, schizophrenia. I never had any problems with admitting my mental illnesses to anyone. It is quite embarrassing for my acquaintances and family members – who, unlike me, care about hateful remarks or attitude coming from ones like you.

Riiiight. Borderlines hide their illness, because we treat abusive personalities unfairly. Did you get that? It’s society’s fault they must hide their disorder. Women like Mina Jade believe fucked up people should be tolerated, not shunned. They hide their abusive tendencies so they can move from one victim to another without even thinking about who they hurt.  As you can see, nothing I posted had any effect on Mina Jade. In one ear and out the other.

How is it otherwise intelligent people can seem thick as a brick? Because they are blocking out the Truth. The Truth hurts, especially if you have a disorder that makes you much more sensitive. BPs block out the truth to block out the pain. The more truthful you are, the more they tune out. It’s like talking to a wall.

Mina Jade lives in her own little world, with her own rules. She is in complete denial. And when she’s not in denial, she’s in blame and shame mode. Transferring the shame she feels onto you. But we’ve covered this before.

I still refuse to feel inferior. I worth no less than any of you who call yourself healthy ones.
Naturally I have my insecurities and flaws, many of them. I try to be as honest with myself as I can. I was not the one who ended up in the same kind of wrong relationship again… and again… and again… and could not get over it for the world. Even poor Whitney Houston’s death made you think “when my BPD ex…” Really, no matter whether I say “I like Marvel comics” or “it is raining”, you will say “it reminds me when my BPD ex…” You are f* obsessed!

Oh but she does feel inferior. Let’s not kid ourselves. That is why she is here ranting and raving like a lunatic. That is why she is trying sooo hard to bring me down to her level. When a borderline is being this abusive it is usually because she feels inferior.

This is her third time back and she says I’m obsessed. But visit her site and all she talks about is herself. Mina Jade showing off her naked pics. Mina Jade with a bloody hand (yikes). Mina Jade shaving her mono-brow. But I’m the obsessed one. Attention whores like Mina Jade want your attention badly. Just not this kind of attention. If you talk about her disorder, then suddenly you are obsessed. Talk about her nude photos and she’ll make you her boyfriend.

What you listed as the sins or typical behaviour of borderline persons are rather personality types and not borderline symptoms. Study Freud and Carl Gustav Jung – if you are so interested in psychology anyway.

It always amazes me how little some borderlines know about their own condition. Clearly Freud and Carl Jung have taught her nothing about BPD.

Some of you say, NONs take priority for him. That is true! You do not care whether girls end up raped – “she deserved it because she was a loser/played risky etc.”
Hitler sent antisocial persons and “bad girls” to concentration camps. You just justify raping them.

Once again she accuses people here being pro-rape and justifying rape because this is what a rape survivor does when they are untreated. They are looking for someone to blame, someone to pay. Any person will do. If you are unlucky enough to get mixed up with Mina Jade, she might accuse you of raping her. Untreated survivors are just looking for someone to share the pain.

F* off, NO IS NO in every single case, that is so easy! Regardless whether she was wearing burka or mini skirt. Do not screw a drunken unknown girl if you are so afraid of prison… it is easy, right?
What’s next? Should rapists be awarded instead of getting punished? Should we at once kill off abused women, because they will turn into BP’s and will cause harm poor helpless ones like you? And what is the case with females who were NONs in the first place and yet got raped? (Do they exist in your opinion?)

You may label me anything you wish.
You may list all your virtues, including your heaps of friends, high position, and Nobel Prize – as long as you delude yourself into thinking that you are a too nice guy 100% innocent, you will have the same problem. Even if you collect all the borderline persons and abused women and give them a treatment which includes carbon monoxide. Even if it would happen, next day fellows like you would end up with “slutty”, “lying”, “cheating” women without BPD traits.

Misdirected and indiscriminate anger is what you can expect when you get involved with untreated rape survivors/borderlines. You become the dumping ground for a lifetime’s worth of toxic waste. And then they wonder why you don’t just get over it. If you’re wondering if your borderline ex is remorseful, read Mina’s rant. Remorse equals pain, and borderlines are good at suppressing and compartmentalizing pain. While NONs are reeling in pain, the borderlines who inflicted that pain have already moved on to the next victim.

You expect borderline persons to take ALL the responsibility… where is YOUR responsibility then?! You are just as responsible – and, if Jon H. is right and you NONs “have all the power to make a decision”, then you are even more responsible.If you are so helpful, then do help yourself first and find the reason why you are so “unlucky with predatory women”.

I think I have done a pretty good job of taking responsibility for my well-being by learning all I can about BPD and avoiding women like Mina Jade. Never again will I be “unlucky”. Thank you for your feigned concern, Mina Jade. Now what about your responsibility?

Believe me, BPD females do not lurk out there to find you, they need you like a hole in the head. They want a strong, happy partner. (Again, this is not a BPD speciality – healthy females want such men, too.) However, since, you know the saying about Jack and Jill, these strong men usually find healthy ladies, borderlines end up with ones like you.

No, women like Mina Jade don’t need to lurk. They seduce men out in the open. They are flirtatious with their “guy friends”, flirtatious with other women’s boyfriends and husbands. Sometimes they are flirtatious with their own family members. BPs know no boundaries when it comes to baiting the opposite sex. They are desperate for attention. Check out Mina Jade’s web photos. She is posing half-naked for a reason. Lurking is not her style or any BPs for that matter. That would be way too subtle.

But she is partially right about NONs taking more responsibility. Though I’ve said it before, Mina Jade likes to sound like she knows more than all of us combined (inferiority-complex). For NONs to find true love, they must find inner peace. They must heal the wounds that were caused long before we encountered our first borderline. As long as we keep the company of borderlines those wounds will never heal. Avoiding women like Mina Jade is the first step. But healing is the second step.

I would post the rest of Mina Jade’s whiney rant. But you’ve heard it all before. If you need a recap, just read the last few posts. At this point, I feel like I am just rewarding her behavior and allowing her to re-open wounds of people who read this blog. People like Mina Jade won’t be happy until everyone is as miserable as her.

But I’ll sum it up for you. She claims that NONs are only attracted to BP women because they are hideous hunchbacks or the NON is a rapist/pedophile/abuser. Once again she is trying hard to drag people down to her level. Or perhaps she’s telling us about the men she has been involved with. Maybe she is telling us about her dark past. It’s always someone else’s fault. Not hers.

Once again she claims NONs are only interested in BPs for sex. If I was only interested in my ex for sex then why did I introduce her to my family? Why did I wait months to have sex with her? Because she managed to fool me into thinking she was girlfriend material. Had I known what a fucked up asshole she was, I would have left her much sooner and skipped the sex. No sex is worth that amount of trouble.

The last part of Mina Jade’s rant is even more disjointed. This is what happens when a borderline becomes emotional. Their brain turns to Jello. She goes into a rant about Hitler and Stalin. If you dare mock her, she will compare you to both. But we’ve heard this nonsense before. The demonization and devaluation of critics is how they avoid criticism. They can blame all they want, but the facts remain the same. The nature of BPD does not change just because the BP has her own screwed-up interpretation of it.

Mina Jade is a writer just like my ex. My ex is a “journalist” but she writes fiction as well as Mina. They are both looking to re-write the past. They are both looking to throw off responsibility, because that’s what untreated borderlines do. But their “facts” defy logic and reason. That is just how an irrational mind works. Our responsibility is to show the Mina Jades of the world for who they really are. Minus the fiction. Minus the bullshit. Because when all the chatter is done, it is their actions and their own words that reveal the borderline’s true nature.

53 Responses to “Guess Who’s Back?”

  1. randi@BPDCentral.com said

    Some friendly advice–consider stopping going back and forth with her, whether it’s here or personally on email. While it’s tempting to go back and forth, you’re only displaying how easily it is to get hooked into the dysfunction. I mean this in the kindest way I can (it’s hard to tell online).

    • savorydish said

      Randi, showing the dysfunction is exactly what this blog intends to do. You may have other means, but I have mine. Going back and forth with a raging borderline is the best way I know how to show how borderlines abuse their loved ones. At least online, their dysfunction is kept at a safe distance. It’s like watching angry monkeys flinging feces at the zoo. This is the only reason why she is allowed to rant and rave here.

      • Sinn said

        Randi shows how feminized and wussified men and women have become in this society. If there weren’t people like you SD and our experiences to really show what these people do and how they view the people they’ve abused, we’d be left with Hollywood (sterilized) versions and talk shows trying to throw equal blame on both parties.

        Again,there are people who make MILLIONS selling books and coddling these emotional babies, instead of showing them the tough love the Non’s get (even by people like you SD, with the whole “there’s something about us that attracts dishonest and/or immature people, no matter that they portrayed themselves in a completely different way and only slowly revealed who they were or what the illness did to them” excuse…I know you’re trying to make the Non work on himself in a positive way..but sometimes you really need the pain..no matter what stage you are in…it is a huge buildup to betrayal), they finesse their feelings and try to spread out the blame and accountability to everyone else, to try to make sure the babies pay attention. They cause real damage, I’m sorry.

        This is where I get to the reverse misogynist/feminist role in it all. Again, it’s like the sluts really want to win, instead of trying to find out why they can’t seem to try to keep a r/s w/o betraying or constantly nit picking themselves or the partner. But we are a no responsibility, male-bashing society, and although there’s male BPDers, the women are more well known because their needs are taken care of more. We are always told to “tough it out”, then the bad boys get all the girls cause they don’t have the “rules” that the women (THEY ARE ALL HYPOCRITES) lay out. Bottom line…men shame each other for competition, women support each other. Until you stop being so self-serving and selfish, BPD and whatever PD’s will always win b/c women coddle each other, and men coddle women for sex and favors. That’s it.

        No one is brave enough to have a backbone to turn down something for the right reasons. There have been plenty of times recently that I was offered sex, and refused it because the girl was either drunk or uncomfortable. Mina Jade will say that I was either a rapist if I went along with it if she was flirting and was “drunk or unknown” or hate my guts for being the “selfless guy”. I needed the sex, but I have my code. People shame me for my code, but I feel as I am healthy, I just invited and gave my heart to someone who lied to get it. This will never be my issue or my fault..but it will stay in MY MEMORY. If I could Spotless Sunshine it all, I would…but I am tired of people saying that I was somehow being a predator for allowing her into my life. BPD or no, sex or no, I could spend forever with her, and SHE fucked that up.

        Neither Mina, Randi, or God can soften that or give that time back, that money back, those promises back…and me believing them, not knowing ANYTHING about BPD after the fact was not an err on my part…I had many choices…I had no sex with the woman and I stayed with her for 2 years.. NONE OF YOU can be in the type of trusting r/s I was, the time crunch, the window intimacy, yet having your future mapped completely out..working harder, more inspired than you’ve ever been..and have it reduced to nothing, along with all your finances..and not want to kill…at least yourself. I love her, not to complete me, fix her, or any cliched stupid shit…i loved her b/c she said she loved me..and for 95 percent of the r/s…despite the crazymaking..ACTED LIKE IT. I can’t be blamed for an act I’ve never seen.

        You are getting the reaction you’re getting, because there are MANY PEOPLE WITH BPD…we just try to conform anti-social behavior. Look at any modern drama or sitcom..we glorify people that don’t give a shit about anyone else..to the point these days that they would seriously sabotage or kill. You don’t think the PD’s have now taken over the media and gov’t? Once you strip all the rules, you strip the freedom…moral codes are irrelevant. You are getting bashed for revealing this..because the people who do have performed the same acts or envy those that have. Keep shaming the people that deserves to be shame…you see what people like Mina feel about those that actually have a moral code and empathy on how they treat others. Don’t let them win. They win b/c no one is brave enough to call bullshit.

  2. savorydish said

    Imagine if I told Mina Jade to stop obsessing about rape. Imagine the shitstorm that would ensue.

    But yet look how easily she dismisses the emotional abuse caused by women like her. Emotional abuse she should know well, since most borderlines were emotionally abused by a borderline/bipolar parent.

    That abuse is the reason why they are so fucked up. That abuse actually makes it more likely they will be raped and repeatedly vicitmized. It also makes false accusations and imagined vicitmization more likely.

    They are dismissing our abuse without thinking that they too were victims of the very same kind of abuse. How’s that for irony?

    • Howie said

      My histrionic borderline ex seems to prefer to be in relationships with abusive, low life men. If she gets into a relationship with a loving, caring nice guy, she becomes abusive and unfaithful, then she discards the nice guy in favor of the scumbag replacement. Why is that?

      Her mother is HPD without a doubt. Is it possible my ex is the way she is because of her mother due to maternal emotional neglect of her daughter? I knew her father and I can’t even imagine that he would sexually abuse his daughter. He was a very nice man.

      My ex says that when she was a child, she was abducted by aliens and the aliens performed sugical procedures on her reproductive organs. She attributes this invasion of her sexual parts as the reason for her indulgence in promiscuity and casual sex from the age of adolescence to present day.

      From what I’ve read, the alien abduction phenomenon is actually a screen memory for something else that actually happened, but the event(s) that actually happened are too painful to recall.

      Any thoughts?

      • savorydish said

        My ex says that when she was a child, she was abducted by aliens and the aliens performed sugical procedures on her reproductive organs. She attributes this invasion of her sexual parts as the reason for her indulgence in promiscuity and casual sex from the age of adolescence to present day.

        From what I’ve read, the alien abduction phenomenon is actually a screen memory for something else that actually happened, but the event(s) that actually happened are too painful to recall.

        Any thoughts?

        Howie,

        What you have just shared with me is probably one of the most fascinating revelations I’ve ever read here. I have never read this theory, but it totally makes sense. I have read that children often suppress the memories of sexual abuse because, at that age, they can not process the traumatic event. But even so, they still have some memory of that violation. This manifests itself, later in adulthood, in nightmares and sometimes in false memories of rape that never happened. The alien abduction fantasy is a bizarre one. But it may show how sexual abuse survivors struggle to tell their stories. It might explain why someone like my ex and Mina Jade would become obsessed with rape.

        Thank you for this.

      • savorydish said

        My histrionic borderline ex seems to prefer to be in relationships with abusive, low life men. If she gets into a relationship with a loving, caring nice guy, she becomes abusive and unfaithful, then she discards the nice guy in favor of the scumbag replacement. Why is that?

        Her mother is HPD without a doubt. Is it possible my ex is the way she is because of her mother due to maternal emotional neglect of her daughter? I knew her father and I can’t even imagine that he would sexually abuse his daughter. He was a very nice man.

        Howie, I think you answered your own question, so I can confirm what you already know. What you have observed is relationship sabotage. This is what women do when they fear intimacy. There are two forces at work here. She is attracted to low life men because she was conditioned for emotional neglect. At the same time, she abuses nice guys because she is afraid of being close to someone. The pain of an emotionally neglectful parent will do that to a person.

        Women like Mina Jade and my borderline ex are abusive to people who they are afraid will get too close. That’s why they end up with guys who just use them for sex and then toss them away. That is less painful for the BP, then losing someone you actually care about. If you want to observe this phenomenon, watch Martin Scorcese’s “Casino”. This movie is the best reproduction of a borderline relationship I have ever seen.

        BP women should take a good look at Sharon Stone’s character. That is you in a nutshell (pun intended). Pay particular attention to the ending of the movie. That will be you in 10 years. Take a good look at Whitney Houston’s downward spiral. That will be you in 10 years if you don’t get your shit together. Don’t believe me. Stay in denial and see what happens.

      • savorydish said

        Women who were abandoned by a parent or neglected by a parent will do the same to everyone who makes the mistake of loving them. This is both conditioned behavior and the product of a rejected child with low self-worth. This is a cycle. God forbid these women have children because they will do the same thing to their children. And then the cycle will continue.

  3. savorydish said

    Mina Jade, you should read this old posting.

    https://savorydish.wordpress.com/2010/10/13/lesbians-chime-in-on-tila-tequilas-mental-state/

    It will be a good look in the mirror.

    • savorydish said

      The biggest red flag is someone who will do anything for attention. The blogosphere is polluted with people who are histrionic/narcissistic borderlines. They think celebrityhood will fill the void. But this is another self-delusion. Mina Jade thinks if she can just become the next Stephen King, people will love her. She waits hoping she will find the right man and then all her problems will disappear.

  4. Howie said

    I find people fascinating, particularly abnormal or disordered people. My ex is an interesting case study in human behaviors and thought processes. She’s so messed up I wouldn’t even begin to try to figure out just exactly what her primary condition is and what her secondary/augmenting/comorbid conditions are. She is certainly histrionic with borderline as well as narcissistic characteristics. She also engages in fantasy, is delusional and dissociates on occasion; traits more closely associated with multiple personality disorder.

    She’s unpredictable and being in her presence is like walking on eggshells. She projects and devalues. She doesn’t even acknowledge, let alone deny, anything I point out about her behavior and mistreatment of me. She has lived a life of promiscuity since adolescence. She’s a damsel in distress predator. Figuratively, she’s as intimate and affectionate as a female praying mantis.

    She’s an “ordained minister” in an off-the-wall “spiritual” church that espouses a variety of unconventional beliefs. The “divine spirit” is their god. They also believe in angels, demons, spirits, extraterrestrials, “energy”, the power of crystal skulls, channeling spirits, etc.. They engage in the occult and assundrious pagan practices. I asked her once if she was a witch. She didn’t answer.

    Her church serves many purposes for her. It provides her with the attention of others as well as validation/acceptance of her past and present atrocious behaviors and deviant lifestyle. She has also managed to recruit “friends” into the church which comprises her “posse” or “entourage” of sycophants and followers.

    For months she pestered me to attend her church so I went one Sunday. She is frequently involved in conducting the service, which enables her to be the center of attention. That particular Sunday, she conducted the meditation in which she “channeled” the spirit of a male entity from the far East, most likely India. She chanted in some strange language in a man’s voice. It was really eerie.

    She believes in past lives and reincarnation. She’s lived many lives, all of them as high status individuals. Are you familiar with the story of Atlantis sinking into the sea? My ex is responsible for that. She was a sorceress in Atlantis. The populace stirred her wrath and she sunk the entire country into the sea.

    She has said, “don’t even ask me how many people I’ve had sex with. I lost count of that thirty years ago”. She’s had multiple abortions. On the other hand, she has hundreds of children all over the world as a result of the numerous alien abductions in which the aliens harvested her eggs.

    She’s masochistic. On numerous occasions I’ve observed her attach a bag clip/clamp to her left nipple. She also likes to be bitten, hard, on the left nipple. She prefers to be “dominated” in bed. She likes pain.

    Otherwise, she’s just your typical ordinary girl next door. By the way, she’s also a school teacher.

    • savorydish said

      Wow. She’s a piece of work. Somebody did a number on her. Although she has a lot of similarities to my borderline ex, she is definitely on a different level. I guess my ex was much better at hiding her disorder aka “acting normal”. I suppose her fantasies were more down to earth. Like being a model/hip hop dance/activist. But she is looking for an escape as well. She also likes to surround herself with admirers who don’t ask too many questions.

      I suppose I share your fascination. How can one not be obsessed, learning more about these creatures? It’s like meeting an alien being and not wanting to tell people about your encounter. Your ex should understand that.

      • savorydish said

        But you’re right. Where do you begin to figure them out? It’s like a jigsaw with a 1000 pieces. But it is so important for Nons to make sense of all of it. When you realize how screwed up they are, you can begin to appreciate the number they did on us.

      • Howie said

        I can’t make any sense of it. Her one enduring trait is that of enigma. I don’t speculate that any professional could readily or succinctly discern what’s going on with her. She’s a conundrum.

  5. Howie said

    Here’s what I have to come to terms with:

    In the beginning, she puffed me up. She made me feel special. She made me feel as though she was dependent upon me and relying upon me to look out for her, to protect her and take care of her. She made me feel like a real man. She stroked my ego and as a result, I fell in love with her. I wanted someone to have and to hold, to love and call my own. But what I fell in love with was a mirage.

    I’m still in love with the mirage, although intellectually I know it can never be that way again because it was never that way in the first place. It was all just an act on her part. Additionally, she’s subsequently split me black.

    I guess that just makes me a sentimental sap and a fool. At least I had the best of intentions. I truly loved her.

  6. Sinn said

    And yeah, sorry for all the taken space, I’m still in PTSD having to live with another BDPer (mum) in the last semester b/f I go abroad to further my Int. Business degree. This one’s jealousy caused the ex to doubt me eventually, b/c when mum found out I was engaged she went insane. Had built up the money to elope or move to Britain permanently, but lost it try to meet the ex and save the r/s.

    It was a tremendous time drain, the engagement. It was like 5 r/s’s in one, talking and playing online all day and trying to keep her happy and entertained and SECURE, b/c I was sure I could spend the rest of my life with her. Sleeping and waking to cam, then some mornings she would wake me up if she saw me move…like a cat just watching my cam for what must’ve been a couple hours at least..to see me stir to wake so we can talk n play again, lol.

    All that forging..so I can be cheated on and lied about and to all of a sudden over a minor crisis. Then everything you worked for is ash and it affects everything around you, but you can’t take off to rest. Life keeps moving around you and demands you interact with it, when you just want to shut down. They forget you immediately and keep on moving..then the other BPDer uses that pain for shame (mum wanted to tax and guilt me for trying to save the engagement her constanly arguing and negativity ruined). All of this in some complex time warp that leaves you empty and asking “wtf did I do to deserve this” all at once, all in a whirlwind. I’m, unfortunately, still very much in love with the ex, all that time some deep imprint on everything…just hoping life and good fortune gives me the callouses to push this back up to a scar..but not immediately painful..but you have to live the days and let time heal it..

    Again, thanks for this blog Savory…I know I’ve been overwrought, but it’s have a forum where some non’s can offload THEIR baggage, instead of serving so long to hopefully empty someone elses. I know that I have to eventually fall in love with someone that I don’t have history or pain with..but you think of all the promised moments…all of your dreams with this person that told you all of her secrets and fears..and you yours..that doesn’t anymore give a fuck if you’re alive or dead…for some shit they ruined, that you helped build. No lasting structures, no trust, it’s all razed. Thank you SD again, and thank you all for suffering through me.

  7. Sammy said

    Oh I I know for a fact she was abused by her mother , but is seems like she is mad , at her mother for something that she didn’t do…..like stop something in the pass , or when i was around her …she got upset and projected her bad birthday celebration onto me after her Borderline mother chose not to call her and wish her happy birthday…..I tried to make it better only to be blamed for the whole damn thing….. She has admitted in a rage that she has Low self esteem . , Told me again in a rage that she didn’t know why her parents didn’t give her hugs …..She seems to be in a competition with her mother…..I never got it.

  8. Sammy said

    My borderline ex is from a rural area , tries to give the impression that she knows more about the world than anyone else……, if you ask her she is the far most authority on just about everything here in my city…even though I was raised here……Yes I have lived in other places as well …and spent some time in a small rural area as a child as well……, but there was reasons behind that. Which I would get into here….but she seem like she need all the attention , if not Ohh she will turn on the charm , flirt with just about any man, try to make you feel and insecure as possible ….do all types of sneaky shit…..Most of her so call good friends are gay guys……She has a secret friend a female in the town where she attended college , and spent most of her life……Oh and the bad boys …don’t even mention them …..Even when the Bad boys admitted to only liking her for the hanging out and the Sex she still ran back to them…and this all of course was my fault ….that see went back to em One bad boy not knowing her was being overheard , said he couldn’t stand her ass , just like screwing her, ….Bull shit!!!!…..TO my BPD ex I was right that day when I got mad and called you a loser…I didn’t know how right I was…..You will for ever be second rate to me , reason being ……I am mentally healthy , and you are not, and thats something money can’t buy….because if you could buy it …..I am sure you would..!!!!

    So in real life ….no not me …but TAG YOU are IT…and it will always be that way till you go get your ass in treatment……LOL

  9. savorydish said

    Sorry Howie,
    I deleted the website you posted here, after I checked it out. It’s just not the kind of site I want to be associated with. I think there’s a fine line between what this blog does and what that site does. But there is a line. And that website crossed it.

    Maybe because it seems crass. Maybe because it seems to lack substance. I just don’t want to taint the message being sent out here. We need some quality control. Less National Enquirer and more NY Times.

    A site like that does not seek to educate the masses, and that isn’t giving people the whole picture. For all we know, those postings could have been written by angry borderlines engaging in smear campaigns.

    When we talk about BPD, we are talking about a real disorder. We’re talking about people who have a history of abusive behavior. It’s not bashing for the sake of bashing.

  10. Zan said

    It’s been nearly a year since my ex-best friend BPD split me totally black. I’ve been thinking lately of how to best describe what she did to me.

    For a long while I described it as using me as an emotional whore. But it clicked today, what she did to me, and what so many other BPDs do is more akin to molestation. It is much more sick and subtle than just treating you like a whore.

    Just like a molester, they build up your trust in them, they groom you, then they find your weakness and exploit it. They care nothing for you, but use you for their own selfish ends. Then they toss you away when you threaten to expose them. And a twisted bond is created that screws with the victim’s mind for months and maybe years.

    This is why this makes sense to me – so many of them have been sexually molested, so it is the same pattern being repeated.

    Molestation – it is the only way to accurately describe how this BPD willfully and manipulatively violated my most sacred trust.

  11. savorydish said

    My Dearest Mina Jade,

    You’ve been allowed to post here, because your comments provide insight into a disturbed mind. I used you as example because there is no better way to illustrate how abusive people like you can be, behind closed doors. But thanks to you, we get to see it out in the open.

    You are correct in observing that some of your comments have been edited. You can rest assured knowing that nothing was taken out of context or distorted. We are quite clear on how fucked up your thinking process is. But there are limits to how much bullshit one can take.

    Of course, you think I’m a hideous creature undeserving of love. Of course, you think my ex was a perfect human being in every way.That is how an untreated borderline thinks. Just because your disordered mind thinks it is so, does not mean it is true for the other 98% of the population. That’s why they call it a DISORDER. Once again, thank you for illustrating the process of delusion.

    You believe whatever you need to believe, so you can rest your pretty little head every night. Who am I to burst your bubble?

    The fact is you are becoming repetitive in your abusive behavior, lies and manipulations. You have not said anything, you haven’t said a hundred times already. Try editing yourself. You did say you were a writer, right?

    Get this through your thick head:
    You will NEVER be allowed to spread your abusive toxin here. I know that makes you go into demonic convulsions, but your manipulations will not work on me. So save your Jedi mind tricks for your enabling lapdogs.

    You were allowed to act out in a controlled setting for demonstration purposes only. Your fangs were removed when I felt it no longer served educational purposes.

    Your assertions are based on a twisted borderline view of the world, my assertions are based on fact. But nobody should take my word for anything posted here. Everyone is invited to do their own research. And then they can see, for themselves, who is right. Fair enough?

    You have yet to provide FACTS that contradict my findings. You have only responded with rage and the irrational mumbo jumbo of a borderline/traumatized mind. Lashing out like a wounded animal will not alter the facts. Hurling unfounded insults only re-opens the wounds of survivors and makes you look like a bigger asshole. I did you and your “nice” family a favor by editing your comments.

    Your point has been made. Done. You have made it quite clear, that you are not a damsel in distress. You have made it clear that your innocence was stolen a long time ago. You have become a vampire. A monster. We get that. Your disguise has been lifted. Thank you for that.

    When you can converse like a responsible adult, you will be allowed to post freely. But if you insist on throwing tantrums like a 3 yr old under-developed child, you will be restricted to the playpen. Come back after 7 years of treatment/medication and we’ll check on your progress.

    You say your parents were nice people. And while I find it hard to believe anything a raging borderlines has to say, I have no other reason to not believe you. So then it remains a mystery- how did two nice parents give birth to such a dreadful child?

    There is evidence to suggest that BPD can skip generations. There is some evidence to suggest that BPD can remain dormant until a child is traumatized at 3 years of age. This can be the result of many things- the death of a twin at birth, sexual abuse, separation, extreme poverty, war, etc.

    Whatever the reason might be is fascinating but irrelevant. The fact is you are probably the worst case of BPD this site has ever seen. The fact that you have given yourself a clean bill of health only shows how delusional you are. That being said, I can not make you see the truth. But I can make others see the truth. Thank you for participating in the demonstration.

    • savorydish said

      PS-
      You’re trying so hard to hit a nerve. You are desperate for an internet victory. That is the only way you can compensate for your failure as a human being. But you forget one important thing: I am not you. I am not borderline. I am not a rape survivor. So my skin is not as delicate as yours. I can never feel your pain. Because I have something you don’t- self-esteem.

      • savorydish said

        Now, run along little girl. Your therapist is waiting…

      • savorydish said

        Yes, I’m sure you and my ex would get along fabulously. I’m sure you’d become soul mates after only hours of conversation. Maybe even lesbian lovers. But all of this just proves my point- birds of a feather flock together. Fucked up people like to hang out with other fucked up people. It gives them a false-sense of normalcy. It allows them to form a trust where they can support each others delusions. Which is why many many fauxminist groups are merely borderline women in disguise. False pretense and false do-gooder charades are what borderline do best. Yet another red flag. If it smells like BPD, it is BPD.

      • savorydish said

        I know you think if you just provide the right jab in the right pressure point, my legs will buckle and I will crawl into a fetal position. But you are only trying what a 100 other raging borderlines failed to do before you came along. You are following the same exact script. We’ve seen the same dirty tricks.mIf you keep reading, you will see that all of you share the same tactics.

        You are a dog frantically chasing its own tail. And we are only laughing at your expense. Do yourself a favor and stop embarrassing yourself. I know you think you’re being clever but your approach lacks originality. It only serves to highlight a pattern of behavior we know as BPD. You are only proving that you are nowhere near recovery. No, my dysfunctional friend, you are drowning in BPD.

      • savorydish said

        The only person justifying rape around here is YOU. You justify rape because it gives you the attention you so desperately need. Look at your whole act. It screams for attention. Without rape, women like you can’t play the martyr. Victimhood is your ticket to being a celebrity.

        Someday a poor sap will have drunken sex with you, because you love getting drunk and having sex. And after you sober up, you will accuse him of raping you, because that’s what fucked up women do when they want attention.This act is well-documented. That’s what they do when they can’t live with the shame of having sex. Because fucked up women like you associate sex with shame. I mean just because you post nude pictures of yourself on the internet, doesn’t mean you’ll sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Where do people get such a silly idea?

      • savorydish said

        You’re trying so hard to drag me down to your level, but for what purpose? If I am indeed as hideous as you say, then why won’t you miserable hags stay away from me??? Why don’t you find an “alpha male” to plant his seed in you? If you have such high standards, why do women like you leave guys like me for slimeballs and scumbags?

        If I am as desperate as you say I am, then why would women like you pretend to be normal? Surely, if I have low standards like you say I do, I would gladly take a borderline psychotic woman to be my bride. The truth is you and my borderline ex hide your illness, because guys like me would never touch you if we knew how fucked up you really are.

        But when we finally find out, you run away to those who are truly desperate. But maybe that’s your type- men with low standards. Maybe you were providing me with a list of all the men who used you for sex and then tossed you aside. So the act goes on. Here you are continuing with your act, because you fear all your online suitors will wise up. You’ll have to do more than shave your mono-brow and post nudie pics to attract men now.

      • savorydish said

        A little excerpt from Mina Jade’s charming blog:

        I hated dolls though. I knew they were sweet and girlish, yet I loathed them all the same. I had some dolls, I even played with them sometimes, but sooner or later I undressed them, cut off their hair and painted their faces blue and green with felt-tip pens, sometimes I broke off their arms and poked them with needles.

        My parents were startled to discover that I loved weird things from the age of nine
        : Gory police news, horror films, Gothic novels. I enjoyed detailed descriptions of outrageous crimes: Women who murdered their babies; psychotic sect leaders who performed human sacrifice.

        I enjoyed elaborative descriptions of medieval torments. I read long articles about Karla Homolka and Charles Manson. I devoured stories about abused women. I could not understand what “love” was between women and men, but I knew about their games of control, and I suspected it was something dangerous and painful. I liked reports about prostitutes, either penniless Hungarian girls from the streets or the red light district of Amsterdam

        Probably it was the first warning sign for my parents. They were the most rational and commonplace people, gentle yet narrow-minded. Their worries seemed funny for me, but not for them.

        You can read the rest here: http://minajade.blogspot.com/

      • savorydish said

        After reading the above quote, how many of you actually believe Mina Jade had an idyllic childhood? People who had wonderful childhoods, do not write about these things. This is a person who grew up in an abusive environment. It is not unusual for abused children to live in denial. Mina Jade has devoted her whole life to escapism. She is escaping a horrible past. But if you read her stories, they provide a safe way for her to tell her own horror stories.

      • savorydish said

        Another excerpt from Mina Jade’s blog:

        As a child, I adored my grandma. She has been a tough and stubborn person, most people feared her, but with me she was different, warm-hearted and caring.

        Borderlines in denial almost never acknowledge the harm done by abusive relatives. They describe their relatives as being “tough as nails” or “BAMFS”. These are BP codewords for abusive personality.

        We assume that women, especially a dear grandmother can not be abusive. But we would be wrong in assuming that. Abusive women must learn their techniques from someone.

        Borderlines in denial will insist there is a warm and caring side to these tough as nails relatives. But they are once again telling only half the truth.

        Abusive personalities are rarely full-time assholes. That is what makes their abusive behavior more abusive. They soften you with love and tenderness and then they emotionally beat the crap out of you. This is the ole “one-two” punch. Bring down your defenses for the kill. Whenever a BP speaks, you must read between the lines. Always remember that a borderline in denial is trying to cover up their past.

      • savorydish said

        The fact is BPD or Complex PTSD is the result of lifelong trauma, repeated trauma/victimization. Who has this kind of access to these people? Who has been with them since birth? A one-time lover? An abusive boyfriend? A guy who allegedly raped them in college? Nope.

        The answer is obvious if you know where to look. There’s a reason why families of borderlines sweep issues under the carpet. The trail of abuse always leads back to the family. Abusive personalities span generations.

      • savorydish said

        Does this sound like a woman who will ever find true love? Is it any wonder why she must lure men with her sexuality?

      • savorydish said

        BPD hits its peak around adolescence. However as a BP woman matures she becomes more outgoing. Where once she would turn to self-destructive acts (cutting) to deal with her pain, she now learns to transfer that pain onto others.

        Some BP women like Mina Jade have fooled themselves into thinking that they have rid themselves of BP symptoms. When in actuality, their BP symptoms have turned into narcissistic/histrionic behavior (see her blog) ie. they have become better at fooling themselves and fooling others.

        There is a reason why many of these women claim to have been raped in college. College is a time when young adults experiment with sex. Which is fine, unless that person has a history of BPD and sexual abuse.

        My theory is their sexual escapades are triggering the abandonment of their childhood. This is why Mina Jade is obsessed with men using her for sex. Worse yet, sex may be triggering memories of sexual abuse that had previously been suppressed. Therefore, they interpret drunken sex as a man raping her.

        A woman who is prone to dissociative states does not have full use of her faculties. Especially, if she is self-medicating with alcohol and sex. Blanking out during sex is common amongst these women. When they snap out of it, they can sometimes confuse childhood memories with recent ones.

      • savorydish said

        Long story short. If you meet a woman who fits Mina Jade’s description- RUN. Don’t have sex with her even if she is all over you. Women like her are nothing but BAD NEWS. Run. Don’t engage. Don’t listen to her horror stories. Just run.

      • Zee said

        “Where once she would turn to self-destructive acts (cutting) to deal with her pain, she now learns to transfer that pain onto others.”

        This is a VERY IMPORTANT POINT. My 42 year-old ex concluded that since she does not slice herself with an exacto knife, she CAN’T have BPD. Never mind that she fit nearly all other criteria to a T, and that self-harm is not an absolute requirement for diagnosis. And never mind that she actually WENT TO SCHOOL FOR THIS SHIT to become a counselor and KNOWS IT. Self-delusion runs deep with BPD’S, my friends, very deep . . .

        As a BPD gets older, her ‘self-harming’ behaviors will usually ‘sublimate’ into other, more ‘socially acceptable’ behaviors. This is common among severe psychologlical disorders in general, and IMO, this is one of the main reasons why BPD goes unnoticed/undiagnosed in adult women. If a woman isn’t completely Girl Interupted material, she must not have BPD; never mind all the other maladaptive behaviors that scream ILLNESS. It is quite common – nearly textbook – for self-harming to abate as a BPD leaves adolescence. The behavior simply sublimates into other maladaptive behaviors which the BPD herself or society in general interprets as ‘idiosyncracy,’ ‘individualism,’ ‘neuroses,’ etc.

        But in general, SavoryDish is correct: What a BPD mostly does is transfer the pain of their unhealed trauma onto others. At bottom, that’s what BPD is really about: avoidance of pain through maladaptive behaviors that manifest primarily in a ‘relational’ setting. BPD has been called a ‘Relational Disorder’ by some therapists because it takes a relational experience to trigger the disorder. It doesn’t just ‘happen’ on its own. I think this is quite an accurate definition.

        The BPD’s disorder manifests in ALL relational settings, not just ‘love’ settings: work, family, friends, residential settings, etc. That’s why BPD’s usually have an extremely rocky history in nearly every situtation that involves dealing with other people IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. They simply do not have the behavioral skills to interact with adults without causing chaos and damage. And don’t be fooled by the ones who have an apparent layer of ‘charm’ either, or the ones who have a degree of success in their proffesional lives. ALL BPD’s have a string of enemies and shattered relationships in their past. ALL OF THEM.

        Love relationships are simply the human interraction which re-triggers the BPD’s most intense trauma experience. That’s why NONs like us have experienced the worst of BPD; we got the full brunt of it.

      • savorydish said

        Well said, Zee.

        And thank you for elaborating on the topic.

  12. Zan said

    I noticed at there are lots of pics of Mina on her blog, and none of Savory on his blog. Can we spell Narcissism?

  13. Zee said

    Yes, there are lots of self-pics on Mina’s blog. But I guess I fed her disease by going there, didn’t I? Call me an enabler!! 😉

    Seriously though . . . my ex would dress like an absolute slut at her dad’s golf club, and then get mad or offended or feel ‘threatened’ when men leered at her.TYPICAL BPD BEHAVIOR: deliberately provoke a negative response, and then criticize people for the negative response. This serves a three-fold purpose: 1) first and foremost, to be the at center of attention, 2) to put one’s self in VICTIM mode and gain sympathy/allies, etc, and 3) to generate any kind of reaction out of people – good or bad – through an act of emotional vampirism.

    • savorydish said

      Yep. Baiting is a BPD favorite. Sexual baiting suggests a history of sexual abuse. They may not even remember the event(s), but their subconscious mind does. The theory is they are re-living the past. They are looking for someone to blame. The perp might have been someone they could not confront, like a father or an uncle. So instead they bait for a surrogate to take the fall.

  14. Sammy said

    @ Savory Dish…..Hey I want to thank you for these post , yourself and Zan and Zee….., All of this hits home for me if you look at a lot of my post I am calling out my BPD ex for this very reason “Molestation”….I really believe thats where her disorder comes from …Like her Father / uncles/ or other close family members……./ They say that I think about 25% of females or People with BPD have NPD as well , God guys only if I could transfer you into my body and put you with this Borderline that I had…you would be blown away if not by the BPD ….I Bet you by the Narcissistic behavor of this person….., And the Bone headed enablers….Wow guys wow…….I would love to see their faces one day when they learn that they were made fools of………!!!! Really from the bottom of my heart guys this help my pain …….I fought my inner being about this person , from about two weeks of knowing her…….And as I learned more of BPD…..She was molested guys ….every thing is me me me with her , She is the best at her job , her boss is a total tool so she says, , all men are stupid. , we would fight over ho walked on the inside of the side walk , Narcissistic,, she would get on me about being a gentlman openning door , letting her walk ahead on a side walk , Oh wow guys …..Thank for having the ball to stand up and say this…..Really!

    • savorydish said

      You’re welcome Sammy. I’m glad this blog brought you some relief. Validation is everything when it comes to recovery. When a borderline dismisses charges of wrong-doing, that is abuse on top of abuse. It’s the equivalent of slapping someone in the face and then denying it ever happened.

      When a woman makes black and white statements like “all men are stupid”, she is telling you she is a bonafide Man-Hater. Man-Hate almost always suggests sexual-abuse at the hand of a male relative or a close family friend.

      She will turn that abuse on you just because you happen to be a man. She is trying to control you because someone in her past took that sense of control away from her. In short, she will fuck with your head every chance she gets. And then these nightmarish women wonder why they’ve been stigmatized.

      The next time you pick up on these red flags…RUN. Don’t stop to analyze or get to the bottom of the riddle. Suggest she get professional help and then walk out the door, never to come back. Seriously.

      • savorydish said

        Mina Jade has been kind enough to demonstrate how unkind BPs really are. They are ruthless and abusive and then wonder why there are “hate groups” who target them. They devalue people who made the mistake of loving them and then act indignant when people speak badly of them. Take a good look at Mina Jade before you decide to get involved with a damaged woman.

      • savorydish said

        What is interesting to note is how determined she is to convince her following that she is rejecting us. This is significant because the motivation for abusive behavior is the borderline overreacting to some perceived slight. A BP has had a massive inferiority-complex since 3 years of age. The only way the untreated can feel better is to drag people down to their level. And that is a very low level indeed. Mina Jade claims that only defective people can love her. Imagine how low your self-worth has to be to believe this.

      • savorydish said

        If you google her facebook, you will see another side of Mina Jade. You will see a charitable soul who saves animals from the animal shelter. You will be tempted to think this is the real Mina Jade. No, my friends, this is the public persona of Mina Jade. Narcissists/Histrionics like to do things for show. That is why these activities are proudly displayed in very public arenas. The internet is the N/Hs best friend.

        However, one can argue that these cat women find it easier to relate to animals than humans. They like it when they are in control.

        You can argue that these people empathize with victimization. They cry when they see someone eating meat, because they only see the cruelty of humanity. Never mind that the planet is filled with carnivores. They only see the cruelty of humanity. These are people whose view of the world has been tainted by abuse.

        The N/H always seems to be on some kind of crusade. So one should ask why abused children almost always grow up to be activists. A long time ago, a great wrong was done onto them. And they are trying desperately to right that wrong.

  15. Zee said

    I love, LOVE to let psychos like Mina Jade know that . . .

    I. AM. BETTER.THAN. THEY. ARE.

    F__K political correctness. F__K moral relativism. F__K THAT.

    I’m better than they are – in every way, shape and form. I rock, and they suck. I have friends, they don’t. I rule, they serve. I run shit, they break shit. At all times, it’s MY WORLD; they’re just visiting.

    That is exactly how I broke up with my Borderline ex. “I f___ing rock, and you’re a loser. Piss off.” Blocked her phone #’s, blocked her emails, threw out unopened any mail she sent me. Haven’t heard from her in months.

    She was good for sex; beyond that . . . useless. Like all BPD’s.

    • savorydish said

      Here’s the thing,Zee. Women like Mina Jade already feel inferior. Don’t let the bravado fool ya. These women have zero self-esteem. Everything they do is to compensate for the nagging feeling they are defective in some way. The point of this blog is not to make these women feel useless. The point is to point out their dysfunctional behavior so they can get help. And so men like us can avoid the untreated.

      • Zee said

        Very cool. The thing is, I really don’t care about them or whether or not they get help. I don’t waste my empathy on those who can’t reciprocate. My only concern is to help men avoid them. I’m of the firm belief that after – say, late 20’s – there is no helping untreated BPD’s. What you see is what you get. DBT sounds great, but empirical proof of recovery is practically nonexistent.

        I don’t care whether BPD women feel useless or not. In fact, I DON’T CARE HOW THEY FEEL AT ALL.I care about the good men they leave in their wake. But I defintely understand what you’re trying to do here, and I don’t want to short circuit that. You’re doing awesome. Keep it up!!

      • savorydish said

        Thanks Zee. I certainly don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. Raging borderlines like Mina Jade don’t deserve any sympathy.

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