My Borderline Ex has re-invented herself, yet again. This time she is no longer the angry feminist. No, this time, she has fashioned herself into a wedding expert. Yes, a wedding expert. Let me tell you how comical this is. This is the woman who married a man she met months after she ruined our relationship. Months.

She conveniently married him at the exact time that her work visa was expiring. But would she stoop so low as to marry someone just so she could stay in this country? Let’s just say, I wouldn’t put it past her and her questionable ways.

This would not be the first time she rushed into marriage. She was once engaged to, as she describes, a “bicycle-riding, women’s-studies-minor-ing, vegetarian babe”. She loved the image of being a hip, lesbian couple.

My ex recently recounted the story of that time she almost married another woman in a book about lesbian marriages. However, that story does not bear any resemblance to the story she told me. In the book, she tells a rather charming story of two young girls who stumbled into love. But, in reality, this was a case of a borderline predator locking her sights on an unsuspecting woman with co-dependent tendencies.

The other girl didn’t even know she was lesbian. But my ex was very good at convincing women they were lesbian. She targeted women who were vulnerable to suggestion. She surrounds herself with women who are easy to manipulate. She actually admitted to me once that she would sometimes pretend to be friends with someone just because she could.  My ex is really good at making friends, but terrible at keeping them. You see, my ex is not the feminist she pretends to be. She abuses women as well as men.

All the ways she abused me would be very familiar to her one-time lesbian fiancee. When she first told me of her ex, she made it sound like her ex was the one that was crazy. I actually found it odd that she described all her exes this way. She even described her parents as being crazy. And she would eventually call me crazy. It never occurred to me, at first, that she was actually the one who was crazy. But it did occur to me that she was very good at making people crazy.

According to my ex, her ex was prone to panic attacks and fits of jealousy. It never occurred to me, that my ex gave her plenty of reasons to be jealous. Her fiancee would often walk around a party to find my ex flirting with some rando guy. This drove her fiancee mad. So mad, her ex began punching pillows and herself to relieve her agony. It seems her ex had some borderline tendencies as well.

In time, her ex would pay her back. My ex’s mother stumbled upon my ex’s fiancee and my ex’s father kissing at one of their own parties. Confused? Yes, this story is very twisted, as most tales of borderline drama tend to be. Not quite the fairy-tale lesbian romance my ex had written for her audience.

That relationship failed for obvious reasons. But the way my ex tells the story, it sounded like they were never meant to be. She claims they were incompatible. But in fact, they were too much alike. Birds of a feather flock together. But two borderlines can not possibly stay together. Their relationship was too volatile. They were both too emotionally unstable.

That poor girl was a wreck after my ex was done with her. And why wouldn’t she be? She was played like a yo-yo. One minute, she was convinced that my ex was madly in love with her. The next minute, my ex pushed her away. This is the abusive mind game that untreated borderlines play.

But now my ex is on her second attempt at marriage. This time, she managed to show up to the ceremony. She needed to do that much to stay in the country. But will her marriage last? That remains to be seen. Her parents are still miraculously married, despite the infidelity and fighting. But just because two dysfunctional people stayed together, it doesn’t mean it ended happily ever after.

My ex has finally found someone who is willing to put up with the bullshit and go for the co-dependent ride. I was not. And that is why she shut me out of her life. But you will never hear this from the likes of Mina Jade and my borderline ex. Because they tell a very different story. A story based on fictional events and half truths. These borderline women became writers so they could re-write their shady past.

Guess Who’s Back?

March 1, 2012

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I’ll give you a hint: Her name rhymes with Tina Fey, but she’s nowhere near as charming and funny. Mina Jade is doing a terrible job of avoiding guys like me:

Of course I have issues! I am proud of them, and the way I handle them. Most of you NONs would have been suicidal long ago, or, more likely, would, up to this very day, sit in a raunchy bar in an alcoholic purple haze, brooding that life was unjust to you… Or you would go to get “treatment”, and, as a part of it, would swallow Sertraline, Demerol, Xanax like sweets.

Most people are proud of things like accomplishments and good deeds. Not Mina Jade. She’s proud of being an abusive/dysfunctional asshole. Good for you, Mina Jade. Dare to dream! Mina Jade wears her disorder with pride and a ribbon on her lapel. None of that medication/treatment bullshit for her. That’s for sissies.

She works on her trauma by herself. She doesn’t need a trained therapist. She’s a regular DIYer. I’m all for self-help, but not when it comes to something as severe as BPD. That’s like trying to do brain surgery in your garage. Let’s leave the treatment of lifelong trauma to the professionals, not to people who are mentally ill. You can see what the results are when someone who is prone to self-delusions tries to fix herself. Just as alcoholics and drug addicts can not recover on their own, people with BPD can not treat themselves. The fact that Mina Jade has given herself a clean bill of health, should tell you how delusional she is.

I, on the other hand, work on my life on my own. Yes, it is lonely behind the wall – but I will never ease this loneliness with a selfless nice guy like you. Ever…

Ever wonder why women like Mina Jade would rather be around low-lifes and scumbags? Because most likely she was raised by abusive parents. Most likely she grew up around low-lifes and scumbags. The Mina Jades of the world don’t have to pretend to be normal, if the people around them are just as fucked up. It’s hard work to put on an act of well-being. Imagine how stressful it is to worry that your partner might find out that your nice girl image is just an act.

Who needs selfless nice guys, when you can settle for an asshole who will beat the shit out of you or share a crack pipe with you? Am I right? Women like Mina and my borderline ex loooove shady guys. They hang around shady guys all the time. Then they’re shocked when those shady guys have sex with them after they pass out. Newsflash: that’s what shady guys do.

I use to think my family was dysfunctional. That was until my ex starting telling me how screwed up her family was. While her mom was messing around with her “guy friends”, daddy dearest was making out with her lesbian fiance. Douchebags are brought into this world by other douchebags. This is why they run away from nice guys. Nice guys are foreign to them. Just being around someone who is well-adjusted makes them feel insecure. Douchebags make them feel at home and at ease.

Borderline persons hide their illness, because ones like you treat them as if they had leprosy. As if people would choose their illnesses willingly! When I first realised that I had “issues”, I hid it from myself, I could not accept it. I dreaded that I would be like the human monsters we see in psychological horrors about serial murderers or stalkers, perhaps even worse than those. It was in my mid-teens. It took about two years that I understood that whilst I would face difficulties where most people would not, I would not have blackouts or invisible friends or would not lose my mind completely. There IS a difference between BPD and, let’s say, schizophrenia. I never had any problems with admitting my mental illnesses to anyone. It is quite embarrassing for my acquaintances and family members – who, unlike me, care about hateful remarks or attitude coming from ones like you.

Riiiight. Borderlines hide their illness, because we treat abusive personalities unfairly. Did you get that? It’s society’s fault they must hide their disorder. Women like Mina Jade believe fucked up people should be tolerated, not shunned. They hide their abusive tendencies so they can move from one victim to another without even thinking about who they hurt.  As you can see, nothing I posted had any effect on Mina Jade. In one ear and out the other.

How is it otherwise intelligent people can seem thick as a brick? Because they are blocking out the Truth. The Truth hurts, especially if you have a disorder that makes you much more sensitive. BPs block out the truth to block out the pain. The more truthful you are, the more they tune out. It’s like talking to a wall.

Mina Jade lives in her own little world, with her own rules. She is in complete denial. And when she’s not in denial, she’s in blame and shame mode. Transferring the shame she feels onto you. But we’ve covered this before.

I still refuse to feel inferior. I worth no less than any of you who call yourself healthy ones.
Naturally I have my insecurities and flaws, many of them. I try to be as honest with myself as I can. I was not the one who ended up in the same kind of wrong relationship again… and again… and again… and could not get over it for the world. Even poor Whitney Houston’s death made you think “when my BPD ex…” Really, no matter whether I say “I like Marvel comics” or “it is raining”, you will say “it reminds me when my BPD ex…” You are f* obsessed!

Oh but she does feel inferior. Let’s not kid ourselves. That is why she is here ranting and raving like a lunatic. That is why she is trying sooo hard to bring me down to her level. When a borderline is being this abusive it is usually because she feels inferior.

This is her third time back and she says I’m obsessed. But visit her site and all she talks about is herself. Mina Jade showing off her naked pics. Mina Jade with a bloody hand (yikes). Mina Jade shaving her mono-brow. But I’m the obsessed one. Attention whores like Mina Jade want your attention badly. Just not this kind of attention. If you talk about her disorder, then suddenly you are obsessed. Talk about her nude photos and she’ll make you her boyfriend.

What you listed as the sins or typical behaviour of borderline persons are rather personality types and not borderline symptoms. Study Freud and Carl Gustav Jung – if you are so interested in psychology anyway.

It always amazes me how little some borderlines know about their own condition. Clearly Freud and Carl Jung have taught her nothing about BPD.

Some of you say, NONs take priority for him. That is true! You do not care whether girls end up raped – “she deserved it because she was a loser/played risky etc.”
Hitler sent antisocial persons and “bad girls” to concentration camps. You just justify raping them.

Once again she accuses people here being pro-rape and justifying rape because this is what a rape survivor does when they are untreated. They are looking for someone to blame, someone to pay. Any person will do. If you are unlucky enough to get mixed up with Mina Jade, she might accuse you of raping her. Untreated survivors are just looking for someone to share the pain.

F* off, NO IS NO in every single case, that is so easy! Regardless whether she was wearing burka or mini skirt. Do not screw a drunken unknown girl if you are so afraid of prison… it is easy, right?
What’s next? Should rapists be awarded instead of getting punished? Should we at once kill off abused women, because they will turn into BP’s and will cause harm poor helpless ones like you? And what is the case with females who were NONs in the first place and yet got raped? (Do they exist in your opinion?)

You may label me anything you wish.
You may list all your virtues, including your heaps of friends, high position, and Nobel Prize – as long as you delude yourself into thinking that you are a too nice guy 100% innocent, you will have the same problem. Even if you collect all the borderline persons and abused women and give them a treatment which includes carbon monoxide. Even if it would happen, next day fellows like you would end up with “slutty”, “lying”, “cheating” women without BPD traits.

Misdirected and indiscriminate anger is what you can expect when you get involved with untreated rape survivors/borderlines. You become the dumping ground for a lifetime’s worth of toxic waste. And then they wonder why you don’t just get over it. If you’re wondering if your borderline ex is remorseful, read Mina’s rant. Remorse equals pain, and borderlines are good at suppressing and compartmentalizing pain. While NONs are reeling in pain, the borderlines who inflicted that pain have already moved on to the next victim.

You expect borderline persons to take ALL the responsibility… where is YOUR responsibility then?! You are just as responsible – and, if Jon H. is right and you NONs “have all the power to make a decision”, then you are even more responsible.If you are so helpful, then do help yourself first and find the reason why you are so “unlucky with predatory women”.

I think I have done a pretty good job of taking responsibility for my well-being by learning all I can about BPD and avoiding women like Mina Jade. Never again will I be “unlucky”. Thank you for your feigned concern, Mina Jade. Now what about your responsibility?

Believe me, BPD females do not lurk out there to find you, they need you like a hole in the head. They want a strong, happy partner. (Again, this is not a BPD speciality – healthy females want such men, too.) However, since, you know the saying about Jack and Jill, these strong men usually find healthy ladies, borderlines end up with ones like you.

No, women like Mina Jade don’t need to lurk. They seduce men out in the open. They are flirtatious with their “guy friends”, flirtatious with other women’s boyfriends and husbands. Sometimes they are flirtatious with their own family members. BPs know no boundaries when it comes to baiting the opposite sex. They are desperate for attention. Check out Mina Jade’s web photos. She is posing half-naked for a reason. Lurking is not her style or any BPs for that matter. That would be way too subtle.

But she is partially right about NONs taking more responsibility. Though I’ve said it before, Mina Jade likes to sound like she knows more than all of us combined (inferiority-complex). For NONs to find true love, they must find inner peace. They must heal the wounds that were caused long before we encountered our first borderline. As long as we keep the company of borderlines those wounds will never heal. Avoiding women like Mina Jade is the first step. But healing is the second step.

I would post the rest of Mina Jade’s whiney rant. But you’ve heard it all before. If you need a recap, just read the last few posts. At this point, I feel like I am just rewarding her behavior and allowing her to re-open wounds of people who read this blog. People like Mina Jade won’t be happy until everyone is as miserable as her.

But I’ll sum it up for you. She claims that NONs are only attracted to BP women because they are hideous hunchbacks or the NON is a rapist/pedophile/abuser. Once again she is trying hard to drag people down to her level. Or perhaps she’s telling us about the men she has been involved with. Maybe she is telling us about her dark past. It’s always someone else’s fault. Not hers.

Once again she claims NONs are only interested in BPs for sex. If I was only interested in my ex for sex then why did I introduce her to my family? Why did I wait months to have sex with her? Because she managed to fool me into thinking she was girlfriend material. Had I known what a fucked up asshole she was, I would have left her much sooner and skipped the sex. No sex is worth that amount of trouble.

The last part of Mina Jade’s rant is even more disjointed. This is what happens when a borderline becomes emotional. Their brain turns to Jello. She goes into a rant about Hitler and Stalin. If you dare mock her, she will compare you to both. But we’ve heard this nonsense before. The demonization and devaluation of critics is how they avoid criticism. They can blame all they want, but the facts remain the same. The nature of BPD does not change just because the BP has her own screwed-up interpretation of it.

Mina Jade is a writer just like my ex. My ex is a “journalist” but she writes fiction as well as Mina. They are both looking to re-write the past. They are both looking to throw off responsibility, because that’s what untreated borderlines do. But their “facts” defy logic and reason. That is just how an irrational mind works. Our responsibility is to show the Mina Jades of the world for who they really are. Minus the fiction. Minus the bullshit. Because when all the chatter is done, it is their actions and their own words that reveal the borderline’s true nature.