February 25, 2012
After telling me over and over again that she will avoid guys like me, Mina Jade is back for more. She just can’t get enough.
SavoryDish believes I would ever go near him… I never went anywhere near HIM. I went near his SITE which I found offensive. If you have a site aimed against a group of people (ethnics, health, religion, gender, etc.), the members of the group will appear on your site, and, BPD or not, they WILL be emotional and angry as hell.
As a person and as a man, you are someone to avoid. I will never go near you, I promise. I will beg you with tears in my eyes NOT to come near me – nor any borderline girl, for that matter.
I think I made it pretty clear that I want nothing to do with the likes of her, but she insists that she is the one rejecting me.
When a borderline fears abandonment/rejection, she will go out of her way to make sure everyone knows that she is the one rejecting you. She will cheat on you. She will badmouth you. She will emasculate you. She will create a checklist of all the reasons why she is dumping you. This is called devaluation. It is textbook borderline.
Devaluation allows her to emotionally detach from you (to detach from the pain of rejection). It gives her a reason to mistreat you, then discard you. But most important of all, it gives her the illusion that she is in control of the situation.
Here she is giving Jon H. a mouthful of devaluation:
Some of the comments like Jon Anyone’s hateful and sexist words make my blood boil. He really did good to his ex when he left her! Actually it was the only good thing he ever did for her. I really do feel sorry for every victim of these “healthy” ones.
What she is struggling to say is that her self-esteem is so low, even a stranger’s comments trigger fears of rejection. Here she is trying to drag Jon H. down to her level. Notice how she uses loaded words like “sexist” as weapons. The fauxminist’s arsenal is full of loaded words like “mysoginist”, “subhuman”,”creepy”, etc. Women like Mina Jade use emotionally-charged words like a molotov cocktail. They hit and run.
Women like Mina Jade hide behind feminist indignation for protection. But BPD is not gender-specific. To make it so, indicates a manipulative personality. It indicates a person who uses shame and blame to misdirect the audience. They are hiding their abusive behavior behind a cloud of activist pretense.
Women like Mina Jade want you to think they are fighting for womankind, but they are actually fighting for themselves. An untreated borderline is far too selfish to fight for others. Their pain is too great to think about other people’s suffering.
Borderline women represent only 2% of the female population. It is impossible for them to even relate to the other 98%, so how can they call themselves feminists? This is not feminism. This is pure manipulation, abusive behavior disguised as activism. Calling Jon H. a “sexist” allows Mina Jade to demonize him and therefore discredit his opinions about her kind. Her kind being untreated borderlines, not women.
Today ones like JH say “I don’t care if she was gang-raped at five” – tomorrow they will rape someone, because “she provoked him and was not appropriately dressed” etc.
Are NONS the new MASTER RACE?
This is a perfect example of black and white thinking. She’s basically saying: “You don’t buy my damsel in distress act, so therefore you must be a rapist”. Borderline brains are so flushed with emotions, they are prone to bizarre accusations. They are prone to taking things way out of context. I believe Jon H. was merely stating that he no longer feels obligated to stay with someone just because they are a rape survivor, especially if said survivor is prone to lashing out at loved ones.
There is a disturbing pattern of borderline women falsely accusing men of rape, especially when a borderline feels rejected. Borderline women who were actually raped or falsely accuse people of rape, usually have a history of sexual abuse. The effects of BPD are then multiplied by the number of times they have been violated (re-victimization). They have all the hypersensitivity that comes with BPD, with the additional rage that comes with being sexually assaulted. It’s a keg of explosives waiting to go off.
Women like Mina Jade have a troubled relationship with sex. They use sex as both a lure and a weapon. As survivors, they are very aware of the stigma that comes with inappropriate sex and they are not afraid to use it to take down enemies. They are both the victim and the victimizer rolled up into one troubled persona.
When a borderline’s brain is flooded with emotions, they are incapable of logic and reason. But very capable of ruining people’s lives. When they are emotional (which is very often the case), they regress to a 3 yr old child lashing out indiscriminately. They speak without thinking. They lash out with outrageous claims and unexpected vindictiveness. They resort to gross exaggerations and gross characterizations. This is the mind of a child that has not emotionally developed since the age of three.
No, Mina Jade, Nons are not the new “master race”. They are merely people who have not been as emotionally traumatized as you. They are merely people who do not have the horrific past that you do. Nons are merely people struggling to figure out why you behave the way you do. They made the mistake of trusting you. And you committed the crime of betraying their trust. Now you must live with that on your conscience.
Besides, he is in error in several matters. As for poor social skills – your moustached role model or Stalin were, in person, sociable, nice guys according to their closest acquaintances. Writing skills – the Bronte sisters were old maids (except for one of them who had a wretched marriage), Dostoyevsky and Hemingway, Jan Potocki, Maupassant, Elfriede Jelinek – well, could you guess what are they?? Abnormal people, as you put it.
So far, Mina Jade has called Jon H a rapist, a sexist and now Hitler. Her demonization skills are strong. She is determined to portray her enemy as the villain and she, of course, will always be the helpless victim. Mina Jade is using every tactic found in the book of dirty fighting.
Although she has a point about disorderd people- they are very good at hiding their dysfunction. Young girls who struggle with social skills early on, eventually learn to refine their social craft in their adulthood. They become very good actresses who put on whatever face gets the job done. If she needs to cry to get her way, she can turn it on like a shower head.
Borderline women who go through a goth phase, eventually shed their scary make-up and piercings. They start dressing like runway fashionistas. They take on respectable jobs as journalists, authors and teachers. They are able to weasel their way up the social ladder. They are able to trick people into marrying them.
They dress in cloaks of respectability so they can spread their twisted borderline views to a mass audience. Fauxminists like my ex and Shady Doyle do it all the time. This is their act for all the world to see. But deep down inside, they are still troubled little girls. Arrested-development does not get better with time, it just gets covered up with fabulous glitz and glam.
If JH feels ashamed, then it is really little for all what he did!
List or not, there ARE signs from the get go. There were signs in the first moment when you picked up your first borderline ex. There were red flags or gut instincts or call it anyhow. You, healthy people, could SEE it, yet you have your dirty ittle reasons to stuck to the BPD girl.
Men who have a tendency to end up with BPD ladies, are usually insecure on the inside. Perhaps they can hide the reason from everyone, they play the role of an easy-going fellow, but deep down are truly insecure. To compensate this, they become “nice guys”, they please everyone, they talk to everyone so nicely, and when they enter a room full of people, they may talk to the confident and laughing girls, yet end up dating the one who is brooding alone in a corner. At least she will be easy to control, to mock, to humiliate. With her, they will not feel inferior.
To cut a long story short, you all, spiteful, insecure, whining users, picked up someone who was also a spiteful, insecure, whining user. Every Jack finds his Jill, where is the problem? Do not hate on the mirror if you dislike your image.
You know, there are men who do recognise the warning signs at first sight, instinctively, without any list or help of hate sites. They never become involved with BPD women.
That is because they are confident and well-balanced persons (they do not playact, they ARE like that inside and outside).
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what she is ranting incoherently about. But she is essentially shifting the blame onto the victim. She is projecting her shame onto Jon H, another classic borderline defense- “I know you are, but what am I?” She refuses to be seen as the damaged one, so the easiest way to deal with this is to project her insecurities onto others. Borderlines in denial often accuse their victims and critics of being the dysfunctional one.
Borderline women like Mina Jade work pretty hard to find people that are vulnerable. And when I say vulnerable, I mean people who are kind. So it is odd that this predator would blame her victims for having the very qualities she looks for in a prey. Women like Mina Jade are so fucked up, they believe YOU must be fucked up to love them. Don’t take my word for it. She said it, herself.
Women like Mina Jade perceive kindness as a weakness. She said it herself. That is why they don’t allow it in themselves. Being nice makes them feel vulnerable. They will accuse you of being weak. That’s why they treat you with disrespect. They are proud of being a bitch. Acting like a bitch gives them a false sense of strength. Being a bitch is the wall they put up to keep people from hurting them. But it gets awfully lonely behind that wall.
Mina Jade claims that those, who make the mistake of falling for borderlines, are inherently flawed. I can not speak for other Nons, but I can safely say that I am ok with myself. I am not perfect, nor do I profess to be. But that does not mean I can’t speak at great length about the borderlines who have betrayed me. Despite the emotional wounds inflicted by these borderline lovers, I have emerged a stronger/wiser person. I have a healthy amount of confidence. Not too much, not too little.
My borderline ex would often accuse me of having too much confidence, but this was her own insecurities speaking. When people have low self-esteem, like Mina Jade, they can only feel better by tearing other people down. Women like Mina Jade don’t give people black eyes, they just make them feel like shit. She is dragging people down to her level.
When Mina Jade speaks of spiteful, insecure, whining users. She is, of course, projecting. She is talking about herself. Borderlines are too sensitive to point out their own flaws, so they project these qualities onto others. Usually, someone who is close to them.
I will never deny that I am a bad-natured person, and do not like to take responsibility for some of my acts.
Yet none of you NONs have the right to feel superior because you happened to be born NONs.
Nobody feels superior, when they are facing the sharp end of a borderline’s attack. When a borderline is done devaluing their loved ones, they leave them in emotional ruins. They won’t be happy unless they leave you with lower self-esteem than theirs.
I suppose this was some admission by Mina Jade that she is a horrible human being. But, somehow, this admission feels half-assed. It seems like it was more important for her to blame Nons for her feelings of inferiority. But Nons are not to blame for her insecurity. Because women like Mina Jade feel inferior without our help. You would be hard-pressed to find a borderline who doesn’t have a massive inferiority-complex.
This site is offensive, discriminative, unfeeling, highly bieased, and sexist. (From the very second you start justify rape and abuse, it becomes a gender issue as well.)
However, most of all, it is discriminative against borderline people.
Always the victim, never the victimizer. Discrimination, for the most part, is bad. But there are times when it is good. Remember when your mom told you not to speak to strangers. That was a good example of discrimination. Discrimination against abusive personalities is good. Because these people WILL do you harm. Any BPD specialist, will tell you the exact same thing. I encourage all my readers to discriminate against people who would do them harm. That includes untreated borderlines.
Self-destructive borderlines have a habit of running away from good people and running towards people who end up using them for sex, abusing them or raping them. This is not justification for such horrific acts, it is a clear pattern of self-destructive behavior. Nobody, in their right mind, would condone rape. To suggest that this blog condones rape is not only absurd, it indicates a manipulative personality with a severe victim-complex. It is a clear example of how histrionic borderlines distort the truth, so people will feel sorry for them. These are the markings of a silent abuser.
Cheating, lying, raging is not borderline specific features. Healthy people also cheat, lie, pretend, rage.
You all admit that you were not in love, you “thought” that you were (but actually you were not) – then who is the delusional one? You were not in love with someone, then what could you expect from a relationship?
True. Cheating, lying, and raging are not exclusive to borderlines. However, these abusive behaviors are more common and pronounced with borderlines. Borderlines are not abnormal. They are hyper-normal. Being an asshole is not exclusive to borderlines, but untreated BPs are really good at it. Abusive and manipulative behavior has been programmed into a borderline’s brain since childhood. It is second nature.
If this site would be for keeping ones like you away from borderline affected persons, then it would be an awesome thing! However, I can see nothing of that – only angry people stigmatise borderline persons. You see, THIS is why many borderline will hide their illness. They do not want NONs like you to call them queers and monsters.
Wrong. Angry borderlines stigmatize themselves whenever they betray a loved one’s trust. They stigmatize themselves, when they act like raging assholes. The stigma is created by angry borderlines just like Mina Jade.
Mina Jade is the angry person she speaks of. But she is too angry to realize it. Rageoholics like Mina Jade spread their anger onto unsuspecting loved ones and then wonder why they are so angry. She acts like a raving lunatic and then wonders why people “stigmatize” her. Borderlines like Mina Jade are absolutely clueless.
February 15, 2012
Mina Jade is back. Hell hath no fury like a borderline scorned:
Well, not as if assured, well-balanced SavoryDish could accept or display any critical message… but I still have a few words to this sad and specious site.
Uhmmm, did I not accept and display Mina Jade’s last rageful message? But it’s never enough. Is it? Borderlines like Mina Jade are never satisfied. They are always discontent. You can never make them happy. You can never give them enough attention. So why make yourself crazy by trying?
I AM borderline! Are you happy now? It is no big secret.
Whhhat? Mina Jade is a borderline??? Shocking news for sure. Who knew? Oh yeah, we did.
Having such a disorder makes my life harder, but I still feel whole and refuse to be treated like a subhuman.
According Ms. Jade, to point out a borderline’s flaws is “subhuman”. If you haven’t noticed by now, Mina Jade has a flair for melodrama. Most borderlines’s do. When you’re as sensitive as a borderline, everything is dramatic. And if it’s not, they make it so.
They behave badly and then react with outrage when people simply point out that bad behavior. My borderline-ex use to flip out on me when I reminded her of her cheating ways, as if I was the asshole. How’s that for a kicker?
Mina Jade may have fooled herself into believing she is whole, but clearly she is not. She is a broken woman but she is too broken to realize it. She does not have full use of her faculties. Emotions have clouded her judgment.
While their behavior can certainly seem subhuman at times, in fact, they are hyper-human. They experience all the feelings we do but much more intensely. Their reactions are over-reactions.Which is why they fly off the handle when you remind them of their past misdeeds. But maybe, just maybe, people would treat them more like human beings if they were more humane to those around them. If they didn’t act like such raging assholes all the time, this blog wouldn’t even exist. Do you think this ever occurred to the likes of Mina Jade?
In the IQ department I am like anyone else (actually my IQ score is above average). I am not easy to handle, but I am capable of love like anyone else.
It’s true, borderlines usually have above average IQs. They are not mentally handicapped. They are emotionally handicapped. They are often book smart but dumb when it comes to relationships. It’s the effect you get when intense emotions override cognitive function. It’s why they cling on once they find someone who is a willing co-dependent, and then shut them out when their partner becomes too independent for their liking. To say that women like Mina Jade are not easy to handle is like saying a kick to the head is not easy to handle.
Borderlines by definition are not capable of love. At least, not in the strict sense of the word. Sure they love to cuddle, kiss in public and have someone send them flowers on Valentine’s. But, technically, they are incapable of forming attachment bonds. Especially, if that borderline was sexually-abused by someone close. What they think of love is merely the borderline emulating something they saw on “Sex and the City”. They are merely going through the motions. When I say untreated borderlines are not capable of love, that is neither “hate speech” nor my opinion. It is fact.
Really, what is your solution (Endlösung) for ones like me? Gas chambers will do nicely? And do you want to destroy abused women or borderline persons, or both?
Gas chamber seems a little excessive. It’s a bit like removing a wart with a chainsaw. How about something a little more sensible, like therapy? Or does that seem inhumane?
No, I don’t want to destroy abused/borderline women. On the contrary, I want them to build themselves up. I want them to take responsibility for their awful behavior and well-being. I want them to stop using their disorder as an excuse to act like unhinged bitches. So, while I appreciate your creative solutions, maybe what’s needed here is a little common sense- a little sanity, if you will.
I am no manipulative person. I am not patient enough to playact. However, the rest is quite true. I will fight tooth and nails if one like you try to bring me down.
You accuse me of wanting to send borderline women to the gas chamber and then you expect me to believe that you aren’t manipulative? Really? I see self-awareness is not your strong point. Tell me… all this tooth and nail fighting… where has it gotten you in life? How have your relationships been?
One of the things people should know about borderlines is that they often have this overwhelming feeling that people are out to get them. It’s part paranoia, part self-fulfilling prophecy. An untreated borderline creates hostility and then they wonder why people react with equal hostility. They are so self-centered, they can’t put themselves in other people’s shoes.
They fight tooth and nail because they’ve been abused their whole life. When a person is this traumatized, it hardly takes any effort to trigger an emotionally-violent response. They will claw your face for looking at them the wrong way.
Great thing that you recognised my disorder, although you have never seen me. Educated psychiatrists say they need to meet a patient in person and talk to her to see what is the matter with her. You certainly know better.
Gee, how did I know that Mina Jade was a raging borderline without an advanced degree in psychiatry? Lucky guess? Am I privy to some secret knowledge guarded by warrior-monks? Nope, I merely educated myself about BPD and it’s telltale signs. I internalized this info so that I might make wiser decisions in the future.
This blog has given me exposure to borderlines of all shapes and sizes. I have something more valuable than a psychiatrist’s education- I have real life experience with borderlines. I know how they walk and talk. I know how they think. Mina Jade was not the first and she will not be the last angry borderline to knock Savory Dish.
So when I witnessed Mina Jade foaming at the mouth and spinning her head like only a borderline can, I knew she was in the active throes of BPD. Instantly. When people react violently to this blog, they are reacting violently to being confronted with the truth. Their fear of rejection is on high-alert. It’s like throwing water on a witch. Instead of owning up to the truth, they would rather lash out and try to drag you down to their level.
That is why raising awareness is so important. You can’t de-claw an untreated borderline, but you can avoid getting mixed up with one. But to avoid them, you must learn to pick up on telltale signs. You must internalize this knowledge, so that it becomes instinctual. So that just the mere presence of a borderline sets your Spidey senses off.
However, for a seasoned fellow like you, how cannot you recognise BPD girls when they are face to face with you?
Sadly, I did not learn about BPD until much later in life. Had I known what I know now, I might have saved myself a lot of heartache. My life might have been very very different. That is to say it might have been a lot better. But I can’t change the past. I can, however, take charge of my future.
These days, I can not only recognize borderline women when they are face to face with me, I can recognize them when a buddy tells me that the girl he’s dating has some serious daddy issues and a tendency to be over-emotional.
There are warning signs in every case. Not in a female’s looks, but in her attitude. There is no such thing that “too late”. One can see within a week whether a relationship is meant to be or not. If it does not work, then you are free to leave. Nobody ever held a pistol to your head, I guess.
We are well aware of the warning signs. We don’t need your “help”. And there is such a thing as “too late” for people who have already been fucked over by a borderline. For these people, their only hope is to break the cycle. To do that, they must avoid people like you.
Borderlines don’t need to hold a pistol to your head. They have powers of persuasion like you’ve never seen. They are shape-shifters who can take on the form of your dream come true. But somewhere lurking behind that dream is a nightmare. I think I’ve covered this before, but Mina Jade seems to only hear what she wants to hear. That should not be shocking.
You knew that you were not meant for your ex, yet you stayed with her – to use her sexually (perhaps even gain money from her, if you were sly enough). You did not help her one bit when you stayed. You are like the leaders of sects who “help” female members of the sect and, in return, have sex with them or get all their money.
Believe it or not, there was a time when I thought my borderline ex was the One. Borderlines are very good at pretending to be the one you’ve been waiting for your whole life. But this is an act. This is a borderline reeling you in.
By the time you find out about their darkside, you’re already hooked, both emotionally and biochemically. Borderline relationships are like drugs. They are highly addictive. You’re also holding onto the hope that you can return to the way things were at the beginning of the relationship. But that was an illusion created by the borderline to suck you in.
In my last posting, Mina Jade compared me to Nazis and now she compares me to a cult leader who has sex with his followers. Notice how good untreated borderlines are at demonizing their critics. I was getting plenty of sex without having to involve myself with a psychotic woman, thank you very much. I was looking for something more than sex, at the time I met my borderline ex. I was looking for an adult relationship. And my ex was more than happy to play the part of the wholesome girlfriend.
It was actually my ex who pressured me to have sex with her. That is how borderlines lure men into their life. In fact, for the first month of our relationship, we couldn’t even have sex because she was diagnosed with genital warts (due to risky behavior). When I like a woman, I see no need to rush into sex.
Sex is always good when you first meet a borderline. That is part of their bait. But even that is fleeting. Borderlines have their best sex with strangers, when there is no emotional risk. But when intimacy enters the picture, things get complicated. Sex suddenly loses its appeal to the borderline. The borderline becomes uncooperative, bored and boring. This is the borderline passively sabotaging the relationship.
When the sex goes bad, it will only be a matter of time when they will look for new meat. So if I was indeed using her for sex, then I got a bad deal. No sex is worth living in emotional hell.
I also stayed because she begged me to stay, literally. I stayed because she convinced me that she would work on getting better. I stayed because I thought I loved her. After all, I was the one who encouraged her to seek therapy, because her family would not. I was the one who stayed with my ex, despite catching her cheat on me twice. So if Mina Jade thinks I wasn’t interested in helping her, well, Mina Jade can go fuck herself.
But this is not what Mina Jade wants to hear. She wants to hear that I am the anti-christ. She wants to hear that I bury borderline women in my basement. She wants to hear that I make borderline women into sex slaves. Somehow this will discredit everything I said about her. But she can demonize me all she wants, it will not change the facts about BPD and her. I invite her to show me these facts are wrong. But she can’t because there are no facts that support her case.
I’m showing Mina Jade’s comments because I want you to see how god awful these women are. They may whisper sweet nothings into your ear when they want something from you, but they will eventually turn on you. They will split you black. And when they do, this is how you can expect to be treated.
If borderline persons are predators, then you are a parasite. No matter what tricks you’ve got in making a woman feel special, I would never go anywhere near you, not if you were the only human on Earth.
She claims she would never go near me, but yet here she is for round 2. Curiouser and curiouser. Borderlines fear rejection like an animal fears fire. In the face of rejection, they will create the illusion that YOU are the one being rejected. Mina Jade talks a good talk, but she can not keep this promise of staying away from men like me. How I wish she would. But she won’t. She will continue luring men into her life, men just like me. She will bait them with her oversexed ways and then she will bite their head off for taking the bait. This is the behavior of a woman who has been traumatized by sexual abuse.
Women like Mina Jade have no reservation about using and abusing men. That is the feeling of entitlement that comes with being a sexually-abused woman. She got screwed over and therefore she feels entitled to screw someone else over.
But if she wants to go back to bad boys who use her for sex and use her as a punching bag, then who am I to stop her?
If a grown person makes the same mistakes all the time and he does not even ponder that he follows wrong patterns, then he is beyond help. You are too occupied with spreading hatred against sick people instead of recognise YOUR mistakes and bad choices.
Once again trying desperately to shift the focus of blame and shame. We’ve seen this pattern before. Misery is always someone else’s fault. Never their own. They are always the victim, never the troublemaker. But if you follow the trail of troublemaking, it always seems to lead back to them. Funny how that works.
As for my disorder, now I am all right, without any medical help. I got over it.
Could you do what I could? I do not think so. You call yourself healthy, yet you cannot even deal with the memory of a fucked-up relationship.
So how many people in the room actually believe that Mina Jade fully recovered from BPD and sexual abuse without any medical treatment? How many people think she’s just fine? I thought my ex had the record, when she said she was healthy after 3 visits to the shrink. But Mina Jade has her beat. Everything I’ve read says it takes a borderline 7-10 years to recover. But Mina Jade did it with ZERO years of treatment. Amazing. It’s a goddamn miracle.
Clearly, Mina Jade is delusional. By trade, Mina Jade is a struggling writer of fiction. Not reality. Fiction. That is, she is very good at spinning tales. Tales of miraculous recovery. Tales of knights in shining armor turning into tormentors. Tales of her having a clean bill of health, despite a lifetime’s worth of trauma and abuse. In other words, her stories are pure fiction.
There is something ironic about a Borderline lecturing Nons on how to get over a relationship they’ve fucked up. They work so hard to trick you into their life and then they wonder why you don’t “move the fuck on”. It is easy to get over relationships, when you have no emotional investment… when you were just going through the motions. Survivors of sexual abuse are particularly adept at shutting off emotions with a flick of a switch. It is how they survived sexual abuse. It is why they are hot and heavy one minute, and then, the next minute, they want nothing to do with you.
If anybody was using someone else, it was the borderline using the Non as a means to fill their emotional void. When someone has been abused their whole life, using and abusing people is a familiar act.
I always mention my disorder to my acquaintances. All the men whom I ever dated knew about it – I did tell them on the first date. Because one cannot hide it anyway (unless, perhaps, from poor unfortunate ones like you).
Wrong. Women like my borderline ex hide it all the time. She has even admitted to hiding her illness from me. But how nice of Mina Jade to tell people how screwed up she is before she screws them up. Do we have some sort of merit badge for this?
Women like Mina Jade should save the faux disclaimer and avoid getting involved with people in the first place, until they have actually been through years and years of therapy. But she won’t avoid relationships because she is counting on the fact that they will ignore her warnings. Women like Mina Jade and my borderline ex are selfish and self-centered by nature. If you need more proof of this, read her rant again. This is how a disordered person thinks.
So if you’re on a first date with a woman and she starts talking about how she was sexually abused and she thinks she might have BPD, but she makes no mention of therapy or treatment… then do yourself a big favor and excuse yourself from the company of this woman. Tell her, politely, that you will not be able to see her anymore and encourage her to seek help. You can not help her. Nice guys don’t have to put up with emotional baggage or subject themselves to emotional abuse. Save your niceness for someone who will truly appreciate you.
For those who bear a striking resemblance to Mina Jade, if you have not had 7-10 years of treatment, you have no business getting emotionally involved with someone else. You are causing undue harm towards another human being. The fact that you have BPD makes it highly likely that you are not even aware of the harm you are causing others. This kind of emotional harm goes way beyond being “difficult to handle”.
February 13, 2012
Another tragic loss. She was not the first, she will not be the last. Until we, as a society, begin educating ourselves and addressing personality disorders, more people will follow this tragic downward spiral.
A lot of people will attribute her death to drugs and people who introduced her to that lifestyle (aka Bobby Brown). But almost no one will ask if Houston suffered from personality disorders.
The first thing addiction specialists like Dr. Drew look for is an accompanying personality disorder. Addiction and PDs almost always go hand in hand, especially when there is a family history of abuse and disorders.
The signs were all there- the bad choice in men, the erratic behavior and the constant need for attention (positive or negative). These are the telltale signs of someone who has struggled with lifelong issues.
The problem is we associate this kind of crazy behavior with being a diva, a rock n roll lifestyle. We go so far as idolizing these people. But people adopt a diva lifestyle for a reason, they are filling a void that can’t be filled.
Contrary to what Mina Jade might lead you to believe, borderlines do not always look sickly and weak. Sometimes, they look like Whitney Houston. They can be the most beautiful and talented people we know. People with PDs include some of the most celebrated people in history. But many of these celebrated people met tragic deaths. This meteoric rise and fall is also a telltale sign of PDs.
Whitney Houston was not a victim of success. The same condition that drove her to succeed, also drove her to bottomless depths. Fame does not kill people. However, PDs do kill people.
People with self-destructive tendencies tend to seek fame as a quick fix. My borderline ex is currently on a quest for fame. She is fooling herself into thinking fame will compensate for her tragic past. Whitney thought the same thing. So did Michael Jackson. So did Elvis. So did Marilyn. So did Amy Winehouse. These people were tragic personalities who soared to the heights of the sun with wings made of wax and feathers. They were bound to crash.
At the height of her career, Whitney was unstoppable. But the life of a borderline is filled with dramatic lows as well as dramatic highs. When they are on top, they seem like beacons of light. We bask in that light. But fame and success is fleeting even for someone as talented as Whitney Houston.
What we saw in recent years, was a person who could not cope with life outside the spotlight. Nobody is equipped to handle the fall from grace, least of all someone who was born too sensitive for the cruel realities of life. Drugs and bad boys were merely a way to cope with the crushing blow suffered by attention-seekers who do not get the attention they so desperately need.
Whitney never got the help she needed. Nobody staged an intervention to say enough is enough. Nobody said what needed to be said. And now it is too late. I hope the family of my borderline ex is reading this. They should take a long look at Whitney Houston’s tragic fall, because a day will come when my borderline ex will follow the same path.
When borderlines are young and beautiful, they enjoy the privileges that come with being young and beautiful. But that advantage will fade quickly with time. And when it does, they will no longer be the rising star you see before you. Their life will take a sharp turn and it will not be pretty.
Suicide rates among borderlines are much higher than the rest of the population. Life expectancies are dramatically shorter. Substance abuse is rampant amongst borderlines. Risky behavior and bad choices consistently put them at risk.
If their life was tragic before, you can expect it will be even more tragic towards the end.
Therefore, it behooves families to get their loved one help before things start going south. Because, once that domino effect starts, it is almost impossible to stop. The time to wake up is now. Let the death of Whitney Houston be a reminder of what can happen when families ignore a borderline’s problem.
February 12, 2012
Another woman who bears a striking resemblance to a histrionic/borderline personality spews venom at me. This tortured soul goes by the nom de guerre of Mina Jade:
There is something very rotten about you. You are a hypocrite person, just a nice innocent fellow who wanted to help a wicked sick woman. Phew.
She is wrong. I’m not a nice innocent fellow. Not anymore. You see, when you place your love and trust with someone who later stabs you in the back, the niceness erodes. Repeated exposure to these back-stabbing monsters, will make even the nicest person angry and jaded. This is how borderlines pass on their disease.
We know your kind. How did you end up with your ex AND HOW DID YOU STAY WITH HER when you already saw that she was sick?! Every Jack finds his Jill, that is why. I would advice to everybody: beware of nice modest selfless guys who always want to *help* poor, sad, depressed persons (and whose protegées are always females, preferably nice looking, young females).
I’m sure she does know my kind very well. Borderlines are predators, they seek out people like me. Because they know guys like me will put up with their bullshit and abusive behavior. When they meet someone like me, they rush to seal the deal. But that was the old me. I know better now.
Mina Jade is attempting to suggest that I go out of my way to seek out poor defenseless women. She is trying to demonize a person who has dared to speak the truth about her kind. Where have we seen this act before?
Borderline women are anything but defenseless. Any psychologist will tell you they are the opposite of defenseless. They are hyper-vigilant, hyper-vindictive and hyper-defensive. They will claw your face off before they allow you to hurt them. Don’t fall for the helpless waif act. It’s a familiar act in the borderline’s repertoire.
I assure you, mentally unstable women are not high on my checklist. It is a ludicrous suggestion. It is a desperate attempt by a guilt-ridden borderline to misdirect the audience, a failed attempt to shift the blame and shame she feels deep inside.
The borderline women I have been involved with, did not show any obvious signs of mental illness. They actually went out of their way to put on the appearance of being “strong-willed and uncompromising (stubborn as hell and unable to cooperate)“. Most are proud to call themselves bitches. In fact, many self-proclaimed “strong women” have proudly embraced the title of “bitch”, confusing bitchiness with female empowerment. But this is a pathetic charade. They are compensating for overwhelming feelings of inferiority, fear and shame.
The most effective silent abusers are beautiful, athletic, intelligent, charming and put-together. At least, on the outside. That’s how they get away with their deception and their abuse.
The truth is I didn’t know my borderline ex was ill until it was too late. Histrionics and borderlines are always putting on an act. I only suspected it, later in the relationship, when things began to unravel. I did not see the extent of her darkside until the very end. Deception is how they reel you in. It actually took me a while to learn the necessary skills to pick these women out. These women are very very good at hiding their illness. They have perfected their illusion over a lifetime.
Nobody seeks out sick people. They don’t have to. The sick people will find them and put out the appropriate bait. They’ll make it easy for you, too easy. Borderline women are very good at picking out enablers, picking out unsuspecting victims. They grew up with them.
They know how to seduce sensitive men, knights in shining armor. They’ve learned that these people will come running to help when they play the damsel in distress. They are very good at finding people who are too trusting, too loving. They manipulate them into thinking they need help. They feed off this attention. This is how they keep the lie going.
If you were a mentally ill person, would you tell people? Of course not. Nobody would touch you with a ten foot pole. If part of your disease was feeling lonely all the time, you’d seek out people without care and concern for other people’s well-being. You’d marry the first person you could fool into thinking that you were perfectly fine. This is the game borderlines play all the time. And then women like Mina Jade spit on your face for falling for their act, an act they have been so careful to perfect.
Why do I stay with these women? Good question. These women are very good at sinking their teeth into you. They are very good at seducing men. They are very good at creating unbreakable bonds. Every time, I tried to walk out the door, my dear borderline ex would grab my arm and tell me sob stories of being raped or sexually molested. This was her justification for her emotional outbursts and abusive ways. But Mina Jade still wants to know why I didn’t just leave.
Unfortunately, it’s not in my nature to dump someone after I find out they are deeply troubled. And that is my weakness. Borderline predators can sniff out this weakness. They will suck you in before you have a chance to realize what’s going on. Borderlines always rush into intimacy. They crave it as much as they fear it. And if you try to leave, they will turn on the waterworks from their tear ducts and pull you back in.
A shame that you do not have the characteristics and the courage to pick up healthy girls – so you need to put up with borderline affected ones!
A shame that smart little fellows like SavoryDish never ponder WHY they had chosen borderline partners SEVERAL TIMES! Are you yourself a well-balanced, confident, self-assured person? Or do you want to seem one and are the opposite on the inside? Do you want a female with a fragile mental health to control her more easily than a strong willed one?
There are HEAPS of healthy, cheerful ladies out there.If you bump into borderline affected ones all the time – then let me tell you that you have something wrong with you, too. First you should look at yourself before criticise someone else…
I won’t deny I’ve dated my fair share of messed up women, but I have dated my fair share of healthy women as well. What should be noted is that when my healthy relationships would run their course, they would always end pleasantly. No drama. No mindgames. No hostility. No backstabbing. Just two adults going their separate ways. I’ve even managed to keep in touch with one of them.
Not borderlines. These people find a way to turn even the best relationships sour. Intimacy triggers their self-destructive mode. Intimacy triggers unpleasant memories of their childhood. You can be the nicest person in the world, but that will only trigger the fear of losing you. They always find ways to make enemies out of loved ones. They will always find ways to hurt you. They will devalue you just to feel like they are on the winning end of the break up. They will demonize you, to discredit you. They discredit you because they fear the truth will leak out about them. You know too much.
This is like a regular hate speech against ill people. What are you all, f* Nazis? Who comes next? Ethnic groups? People with other kind of illnesses?
The problem is not that these people are ill. The problem is their illness causes them to abuse others, to cause mental harm and to spread their anger. Anybody who dares to point out their abusive and manipulative tendencies is a Nazi, baby-killer, rapist, stalker, etc.. These women silence critics by demonizing them. They attack and then retreat to damsel in distress mode.
The way you talk make me sick… It is very sad to think that so many innocent people get abused so horribly and filth like you are practically never harmed…
Notice the pain in her voice. She is lashing out at me but she is really lashing out at her past. The fact is people like me ARE harmed. But she could care less. She only cares about her pain, not the pain that she spreads. Mina Jade is not as innocent as she would like you to believe. She is quite clever and manipulative. Don’t take my word for it. Read up on BPD and Histrionic Personality Disorder and then take a good look at Mina Jade’s rant. Then tell me you don’t see an uncanny resemblance.
If only women like Mina Jade would avoid me. But they don’t because they need people to run to. Someone who will listen to their sob stories. Someone who will make them feel special and loved. I am a magnet for women like Mina Jade. Women like Mina Jade either look for men who will abuse her or men she can abuse. This is the story of Mina Jade. Learn it well.