Addressing Megan’s Issues

December 29, 2011

The commenter quoted in the previous post, “Lashing Out”, is back. Her name is Megan and she seems determined to get a response from me. I am reluctant to respond to her, because this is what borderlines do. They look for people to pull into their drama.

However I will say this- I respect the fact that she wants to have a dialogue. Though I am suspicious. Because usually when a borderline says she wants to have a dialogue, it means she wants an opportunity to prove you are wrong. But, occasionally, I like to post these borderline rants because they give insight into how their troubled minds work.


you still responded to me by posting a big thing about what i posted. i dont feel rewarded for anything. and why wouldnt anyone who felt they were being bashed or hurt be on the defense? its human nature. you only see it from your side because you dont have BPD but i can see it from both sides as well. which sucks.

Savory Dish:

Of course you feel rewarded. You seek attention and when people give it to you, you feel rewarded. That’s how your disorder works.

It is important to note that borderlines experience all the same emotions that other people do. So your observation that reacting to being hurt is human nature is partially correct. However, what separates the two is the degree of sensitivity and the degree of reaction. It does not take much to offend or hurt a borderline. They are hyper-sensitive. That is a major part of their disorder. The abusive behavior (both aggressive and passive-aggressive)we see over and over again, is the borderline over-reacting to being hurt.

I will not deny that I have biased opinions. But my opinions are backed up by facts. Your opinions are based on irrational thinking and dysregulated emotions.


everyone plays the victim, maybe we do more then others but then why stay in the relationship with us in the first place. at this point i cant even talk to you about it because no matter what i say you would categorize it as some sort of symptom or BPD. shes playing the victim, shes lashing out, shes on the defense, she heartless or whatever i say or am doing. but how can you sit here and past such judgement on people? are you a sociopath? because clearly you dont have any emotions or remorse for the way you talk about us.

Savory Dish:

I want you to read your comment above and tell me who is passing judgment.

Like you said- everybody plays the victim, but borderlines do it much more effectively than others. Borderlines were ONCE victims but they are guilty of re-playing their role as the victim. They are stuck in a state of victimhood. They are guilty of false victimhood. They instigate conflict and cause trouble only to cry victim. They create hostility and then run away crying. Borderlines victimize others and then expect them to remain silent about it.

By labeling me a sociopath, you are only illustrating how borderlines engage in dirty fighting. Dragging people down to your level (aka demonizing the other) will not alter the truth. Trying to make the argument that “we all do it” will not make you feel better about yourself.

Only getting help and getting better will make you feel better. When people like you stop behaving badly, people will stop speaking badly about you. Got it?


whats your story? if 40 percent of more of WOMAN as you say have BPD i wonder what one of the many other mental illnesses in the world afflicts you? because clearly someone somewhere hurt you pretty bad. and this is your only way to deal with it? making us feel like shit? an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Savory Dish:

I have never ever said 40% of women have BPD. I challenge you to prove that I have. BPD only affects 2-3% of the population. This is a number in the millions. Out of those millions, 75% are women. Once again, you have illustrated how a borderline’s intense emotions affect the ability to listen and think, the ability to see straight. Your emotions distort reality and that’s what makes you so difficult and dangerous.

What’s my story? Well, if you had actually read my blog, you would know my story. But you weren’t reading. You were reacting and jumping to conclusions. I have had more than a few borderlines hurt me badly. And yes, this is how I deal with it. Rather than bury the past, I have chosen to make it public knowledge. So that others will know they are not alone. So that those who need help may finally get help.


the day i wrote my “lashing out” post was the day i was trying to look up medical articles and information on BPD to give to my bf so maybe he could walk this road with me not as blind as others have. because telling someone or exposing that you have a serious mental illness isnt easy. already being depressed i came across this page. its hurtful and mean. its not informative at least not a constructive way of doing it.

Savory Dish:

Just because YOU don’t find it informative, does not mean that many others do not. The best way for these people to deal with the pain a borderline has caused them is to learn more about the horrible things borderlines do. I have no reason to sugar coat the truth. If your feelings are hurt, it’s because you are not yet ready to accept the truth about yourself.


you dont go and bash people with mental illness all over the internet making them feel worse about things which in turn is just prolonging the cycle and throwing away any self progress someone might have had.

Savory Dish:

I don’t bash people unless they deserve it. How you feel is your responsibility, not mine. That’s why they call it SELF-esteem. Nobody is forcing you to read this blog. It is YOUR choice. Until you accept that you are responsible for your own moods, you will never get better.


you dont know what people have been through and just because someone with BPD may have a severe case doesn’t mean they are all the same cases. everyone is different, some ppl are worse then others, some people dont even know they have it, some people have been working with it their whole lives.

Savory Dish:

Yes, I often acknowledge that not all borderlines are created equal. Some of my readers are borderlines. Some have even told me they enjoy this blog. Some have acknowledged how horribly they have treated others. These are the borderlines who have a chance. Then there are borderlines like you.


i never said the way i treat people in my life is right and i never said im not a shitty person for it. but you are no saint my friend. but you will not sit here and say you have done nothing wrong?

you were never mean or hurt a single person in your life? you cant point a finger without pointing one at yourself unless you are a saint.

Savory Dish:

So dragging people down to your level makes you feel better? This is a familiar borderline tactic. Nobody is a saint, so therefore you feel better about treating people like shit, including loved ones.  I don’t treat people like shit unless they act like shit. That’s pretty fair. Don’t you think?


you are doing anyone any good here besides being back in high school and honestly acting just like the people you so loath, be being a bully.

Savory Dish:

There you go AGAIN, demonizing people so you can stay the victim.


id love to meet you, not to be an asshole but to have a serious conversation with you, id like to know how you came to all this. who hurt you so much that it caused you to write a blag about it….it saddens me really.

Savory Dish:

I can not have a serious conversation with someone whose logic is twisted by emotions. The only reason I am having this conversation with you is so others can see how borderlines operate.


and what do you say to those people i warn to stay away from me? because i warn and tell everyone i met or date what i have and how it might end. what do you do when they dont listen? you ever think that maybe they are as screwed up as i am? because im starting to think so.

Savory Dish:

I tell those people to take responsibility for their own well-being as I have done. I tell them to stay away from people like you, because it will only end in misery. There’s a chance they may be as screwed up as you are. But borderlines tend to look for people who are less screwed up then them. Someone who will take care of them (aka enablers).

Every time you get involved with someone, you are harming yet another human being. You are perpetuating the cycle of abuse. You know you are not healthy enough for a relationship and yet you allow it to get serious. That’s what makes you irresponsible. Don’t get involved until you get better. No warning is necessary if you don’t get involved.  The truth is you want them to ignore your warnings.

Should Fucked Up People Be in a Relationship?

12 Responses to “Addressing Megan’s Issues”

  1. phaedra21 said

    This exchange demonstrates the futility of having a “dialogue” with a bpd. They are always right, they always have to have the last word, and there is no reasoning with them because they are not rational. The focus always returns to them and their narcissism. The childish response above is typical and classic of what I have experienced from bpds: “i never said the way i treat people in my life is right and i never said im not a shitty person for it. but you are no saint my friend. but you will not sit here and say you have done nothing wrong? you were never mean or hurt a single person in your life? you cant point a finger without pointing one at yourself unless you are a saint.”
    This is practically verbatim what I have heard before.
    We can see the flaw in logic, but the bpd has that particular chip missing in her brain. She is comparing apples to oranges. The issue is not Savory Dish being on trial here, but this is how they like to turn the tables whenever you confront them with their behavior. They compare our human imperfection (and we all are imperfect) as if it were on the same level as their extremely pathological behavior.
    I don’t consider this blog as a support group for bpds. It is more of a support for people who have or have had bpds in their lives. And bpds who want to be accountable or to learn about themselves and how they affect others can benefit from this blog as well. A blog is like a home, and barging into the host’s home or his life and demanding his attention is typical of this behavior. You can see how these people are intelligent, yet they don’t see that we can see right through their M.O. as they lie, fake and bumble their way through life, leaving a wake of destruction in their path.

    • savorydish said

      Childish behavior is right. This woman is probably in her mid-twenties and yet she acts like a 15 yr old. How do you have a “serious conversation” with someone who suffers from arrested development?

      • phaedra21 said

        Along with the tantrums, the bpd expresses herself with the emotional maturity of a three-year-old. And there is no point in arguing with a three-year-old, is there? There is a certain mentality with a bpd in that
        she never really grows up to live as a functioning adult. She will always be emotionally crippled in her
        jobs, her relationships or in any interaction that requires self-reflection, insight and consideration for others. Now three-year-old children can be cute and charming, but imagine living with one who never grows up. I hope people involved with bpds seriously think about the impact this has on their own mental health and self-esteem and why they are willing to tolerate the abuse.

      • savorydish said

        You made a comment about “turning the tables” which I feel bears repeating. This is a classic borderline attack. Rather than look inward, they launch an attack on you.

        According to these Master Manipulators, you are an asshole for pointing out their glaring flaws as a human being. When they say “get over it” or “move on”, they are really saying take the searing spotlight off me. Self-awareness feels like being nailed to a cross for these self-made martyrs.

        Posters like Jessa, Avitty, and Megan have had a lot of practice with this self-defense technique. So have enablers like Barry Buss.

        Take a good look at this cast of clowns. These are the people you want to avoid like the plague. If you have a history with these people, make a New Year’s resolution to rid yourself of them. You will never find happiness with people like this in your life.

    • Sinn said

      Yeah, and what is it with BPDers acting as if their disorder is like A RACE or something. If you speak about a BPDer on ANY forum, you get like a million people screaming for diagnosis and shit and if you go to a more quiet place, where you actually see the symptoms and can match it..places that are CLEARLY meant for the victim…a BPDer will track the place down and pepper it with their many insecurities/transferences/projections. I mean, don’t they have another dude lined up to cheat on their man with??? Or is the excitement from fucking over that other person done. For people that act like they have such glamourous lives to the outside world…they spend a lot of time on publicity damage control. You try pulling the same tactics on Psych— BPD section as they do everywhere else…..BPDers there ACTUALLY fight each other and have to set labels on their posts as “may trigger”. These people are human conflict machines…I just don’t get it…but I know, I’m not disordered. I just need things to make sense, and if they don’t, have some chance at a positive resolution. Unless that means some sort of sacrifice for the non, or unless you have something they fear losing besides yourself (b/c you are simply an object), that positivity will NEVER happen. Still, it’s odd for the cheaters/sex robots to actually be trolling the internets for who is talking about them…just says they never sleep, has a lot of guilt/shame, and can’t really look at all the carnage they’ve caused so they must find a way to diminish the non’s….even if they’re telling their stories b/c they were alway a victim of a cruel diminishing by their “Race”.

  2. Rick Savage said

    another fantastic blog entry thankyou so much.. you are totally correct.. simply engaging with a borderline, that is unwilling to recieve therapy or even admit they have a problem, is a recipe in futility.. point being. you cant reason with a crazy person.. the best thing you can do is avoid them and persist in no contact if you have had the displeasure of being in a relationship with one..

    2 years after my break up with a acute and highly abusive and emotionally unstable borderline, and I am still suffering PTSD symptoms.. I still dream of her being locked in a cage, and put on a steamship and sailing away to antarctica where she will be unable to hurt anyone anymore..

    these women are absolute nightmares, and the jerks that enable them are just some easily manipulated and delusional/uniformed, people.. thank god for people like you that run this blog that can actually speak some truth to let people out there know that, “they are not the crazy one”..

    borderlines do have an acute ability to distort our realities and spin things around to make us think “black” is “white”, and so on.. Blogs like yours remind me that I am sane.. and I applaud you for even engaging with a borderline.. omg, to me that is like casually jumping into a pool full of piranha.. thanks again.>!

    • savorydish said

      You’re welcome. I must admit there’s a part of me (a reminder of my past) that wants to help Megan. But the fact that she is playing the victim again and lacks awareness of this fact tells us that recovery is far far away. Hopefully, she will read this dialogue and realize the pattern she is perpetuating.

  3. savorydish said

    If you’re wondering whether or not your loved one is a borderline, have them read this blog and observe their reaction.

    An untreated borderline will have a visceral reaction – disgust, rage and let’s not forget the tears of sadness.

    This is how a borderline reacts to an honest depiction of themselves.

    Understand that a borderline has spent most of their life creating an illusion of well-being. By confronting them with the truth, you are shattering their illusion.

    The house of cards will fall and they will place the blame on you. This is the reaction of a hyper-sensitive person lashing out in reaction to unimaginable pain. The truth hurts, especially if you are a borderline.

  4. Sinn said

    In my experience, a Borderline ALWAYS lower expectations. So this warning that whatever man she cheated on might have been one of thousands of warnings about how inadequate she felt, is..whatever. The fact is Borderlines LIVE to be taken care of. Any challenge and they seek you out or demonize you…there is little middle ground. I know I gave many particulars of my r/s in my last post….it is because, as you referenced to Megan, that Borderlines don’t respect boundaries…they push inside of you….yes, they warn, but not in the way Megan is descrbing. They made it something you can overcome, and then they use that as a get out of jail free card when they fail you. Nothing is ever worth fighting for when they give up…it’s hard to deal with a person whose life centers on her emotions. Again, I was sucked into 14 hours a day, and this tramp couldn’t even give me the closure of meeting her…Skype’d for nearly 2 years…knew her so much through all that exposure to feel like I could be with her for the rest of my life….she gets glacier feet over one of the smallest problems in the world and devalues me and the whole r/s, even as I spoiled her w/nearly everything she asked…so she can rationalize having sex with another man…to the point she wanted to have me imprisoned. This is why Borderlines are so dangerous…combined with the fact that the failed r/s has left me financially strapped temporarily to the point I’m staying with my obviously BPD mother..and I tend to wonder if EVERY woman is like that…which is know is not. But for anyone that thinks I find any woman that disagrees with me a BPD..match these signs.

    1. They want to talk for extreme periods of time about absolutely nothing…just to feel like you’re paying attention to them. If they think they love you, the sun can rise or set to them talking to you…to the detriment of anything either of you have going on. You better not slip, b/c this is not anything they take into account when the chips are down…a little. Again, it will be YOU who was lonely (blackmailed with tears, snide comments, feigned/real outrage more like) not them, especially when they’ve lowballed you and is now worshipping someone else and the pain of the sudden betrayal is just too much for you.

    2. No matter what you do, they don’t trust you. They will reveal a crack that enables them not to trust you. If it’s a parent, it’s your past, even if their past matches…they ALWAYS have a reason for their don’t. If it’s a love, they’ll always suspect you’re cheating, can cheat, or gonna cheat AND/OR find them matter how hot they are. This accomplshes 2 things…that they can eventually act on their whirlwind emotions and lock themselves in a depression/rage to where their actions are instantly RATIONALIZED because you’ve already offended them. This is why arguing with them brings out the most personal shit, as well as is NEVER CONSTRUCTIVE>

    3. No matter how much they criticize (constructively or otherwise) you…you better be the most valued mf’er in the world THAT DAY the day you criticize them. They simply can’t handle being treated like they can have expectations put on them. They live to undermine/lower expectations to put the focus ON YOU. You have to meet your quota, and when you DO, THE BAR IS RAISED HIGHER AND HIGHER AND HIGHER…the minute you can’t do’re prone to acting out behavior or THE RAGE…where they, by transference, take any situation and submerge you in it..down to their level. Since you didn’t meet expectation..even if you don’t/didn’t know what it carry the shame…this is, IMO, what people mean by Crazymaking. The claws are so sharp towards you, and your defense has to match it to a point so much…that you can’t believe what was said, but you want to get back to where you were….but when you get to this point…they’ve won. You’ll NEVER get back to the way it was, unless you’re rich and NOTHING provides a setback to the BPDer.

    4. You’re entire world can change in ONE second. They have ALL the power…they eventually take it. But they have it. They can go from loving you to the end of time, to hating your for the same period IN AN INSTANT. This is probably why (along with constantly needing to be portrayed as a victim) they profess to have so many stalkers. They give you the promise of forever love the hour before they stab you in the back…and I mean HUGE BETRAYALS, and play games until they can eventually pin it all on you. They will bring in friends, family, police, anything to reenforce the fact that you are now dead to them. Everything talked about or occurred means nothing. They will tell you that (if a parent) they’ve never trusted you/can’t trust you/bring up a benign thing you did years ago, or tell you that the romance was a dream….an illusion….their gut feeling had always told them something was wrong..but they needed to vampire the shit out of your life and lift your expectations/hopes/slowing down to take care of them for the payoff….to dash them immediately and start the cycle even faster with someone else. No closure because the’re passive/passive-agressive people so they are cowards so they will flee. No airing out, because they do their dirt covertly and get enablers as human shields of irresponsibility….you were simply a placeholder for whatever part of their life they wanted t live out….and you’re done.

    People judge all the damned time…but they’ve never lived and seen what the BPD victim has. Normal r/s’s have some kind of period where you just know it is about to end….or that the person hates or is losing it….you can pretty much be Superman for a BPDer and whatever it is you thought you had with them can be ALL lost in a rage/drunken stupor/depressive episode where they compare (as they endlessly do) their lives to a rich person/more complete person and realize you’re not that….or you may actually ask them to be that. There’s no middle ground…when you tell them you simply want them to be themselves/be happy….it’s like telling water how to be still…the r/s stagnates…they need expectations to undermine and your boundaries to break or they will rage and sabotage until you’re just as damaged/needy as they are, and then they will betray you. Mothers/exes…both have the same playbook. I actually know when my mum’s rages is gonna come now….this is my last semester here though..but that’s for the Megan show…this was the near carbon copy of my ex-fiancee post breakup.

    • Sinn said

      And you wonder for a group that has SOOO many enablers from the constant victim roles they assume, why they would care what people say about them. It’s weird, but even suffocated by so many sycophants and emotional weaklings like them, they troll around and try to find who’s exposing them, directly or indirectly. It’s the weirdest “disorder” ever. But their addiction is VALIDATION..and that’s outside validation. They love the chase and making everyone “notice” their sad existence, even if by slowing down to listen or help them, they always have a reason not to hold up their end of the exchange. Since they can’t compete, they want everyone to wait for them, and none of that waiting has loyalty, patience, empathy, or concern attached to it, like normal relationships. They are emotional locusts, but then when you go through one of these vampires, you get the added stigma of being “codependent”. If trying to be more focused on problem solving/resolution, personal responsibility/ambition, and trying to build something faster with a partner than I would do alone, even if I could, is codependence, then something is wrong with this world.

      Again, none of this is to truly knock the ex. I mean, if it was all bad, then there was no way, given the circumstances, it would’ve lasted that long. But to go from all of that, to simply like a light switch have it all snuffed out, and not even continue with a modicum of respect, but instantly go to adversarial, life-altering calamity magnifying shit, is murder on the soul. It makes like seem inevitable to pain, and hardening, that I’m sure many people don’t have to go through. It was like our best days needed to have the weight of insecurity on it…so you work harder to get to your goal, and then everything has a question mark on it, when you have witnessed other couples go through worse..and then you’re betrayed after, during, and before a rage. But they don’t have any real adults with them, by them, or for them. No one who gives a shit about the commitments they have made…that other person can be turned into an enemy, when he was never in the wrong, and was pretty much the BDPer’s best friend, love, confidant, therapist, life coach. People say you should never assume these roles, if it’s healthy…but sometimes, it’s simply in the normal dynamic of a BPD r/s…she has problems that don’t seem so bad to me…I am there to try to make her feel better and have perspective.

      Then it all gets turned into “she doesn’t want to need me” cause it causes her pain…and no matter our plans, it just ends..I’m replaced in the end/middle of the r/s..however your perspective, and I have to be ground down, just needing a rest to recharge that inundation of feelings sharing and time soaking…to confusion, betrayal and pain. But they act as if their acts are victim-less…cause they’re simply following their warped feelings and jaded sense of reality and entitlement…while we are truly embarrassed, spent, and wrecked. As many have advised, I started really working out again…lost 6 inches from the waist and have a more clear outlook. The pain will never go away, but instead of being a flame, it’s more a hot ember. Sites like this, not matter what people say about the victims, do help to show us that this is a problem out of our hands, although we’ve lived it and can never shake a bit of the blame for the demise…but these people do deserve pity, but they don’t deserve the validation that they keep seeking…you have to earn your status in this world.

      Too many passes have been given because of gender roles…to the detriment of people that really try hard to hold up their end of r/s’s. I have been considered a 8 to 9 by many women, but I was COMPLETELY faithful to my ex-fiancee. I loved her with everything, and she told me so nearly every hour…all of that disappeared in under 3 weeks after she met someone else. The push-pull started, then the agony, the delusions/rationalizations/memory loss/insane drunkenness, and then the apathy, to what was before then a very fun and pretty clean girl. She raged and forgot who she was…and I lost everything I built, over a mistake…from a person that never had the confidence to realize that she didn’t need validation from everyone. This flaw was evident early, but she had me to focus on…locked into work in that Mid Eastern country, the culture shock took over, and you couldn’t help her put all the wild feelings back in perspective anymore. People say that a lot of the times we’re to blame, and the r/s was dead b/f the dumper called it quits…bullshit. The r/s died because I wouldn’t let her feelings just control and run over me..she thought I had aggrieved her and fell in love for revenge..if you were there for the push/pull, you would see that. It’s just not healthy or fun to be used and discarded, although, how far they can a person with pride take them back, even though it’s all you want in the world.

      This is why that earlier post asking “Should Fucked Up People Be In Relationships”….it’s a very good question..because when you fuck up…you make that person that trusted you radioactive…I mean seriously so…they almost or do need therapy to get over what you did and how you treated them. You make trust void for everyone that comes after you, b/c you didn’t respect yourself to wait until you were healthy enough to carry your half of the r/s..which is your responsibility, b/c you were trying so hard to be like everyone else. Get validation from everyone else that you’re normal..but you eventually sink everyone around you..your enablers, the people that loved but didn’t know you were that messed up and either have to cover for you or get away, and the people that trusted you you’ve cheated on and left for dead…and at its worst, tried to destroy their lives/memories/character to rationalize your actions. I’m out..sorry for the space, I like checking the site when the pangs kick in sometimes. Sorry again to everyone that’s experienced this.

      • Rick Savage said

        Most Borderlines are just abusive, manipulative, entitled, little shits.. any normal morals or ethics dont apply to them.. for them its ok to lie, pit people up against each other, totally defame their partner.. make ludicrous and desperate attempts to distort reality and manipulate people.. i’m sorry but I fucking hate borderlines.. the misery that the bpd monster i had in my life caused me at least 2years of extreme PTSD.. I realize the borderline herself was at some point a victim.. but the lies she heaped out were so many, and her behaviour so toxic, I could never tell who she really was. She threatened me, lied about absolutely everything, and was seriously the most manipulative delusional, warped psycho bitch from hell I have ever met. I realize its very, very hard to feel sympathy for this type of person.. They are like a parasite, or a terrible disease that sucks life out of everyone they come into contact with.. and removal of the parasite from the host is usually an extremely painful procedure cause the parasite will attempt to kill and destroy the host. all you can do is cut them off. remain no contact. and eventually the poisonous little assholes that they are will leave you alone, and hopefully find and track down a new victim, all the while defaming you as a monster that victimized them. its like what everybody says about borderlines. they make everyone around them crazy. The person that really suffers is the person that comes into contact with the borderline. The levels to which they stoop are lower than any other being I have ever come into contact with. The lowest of the low. Its very sad and very pathetic. All i wish. In all honesty. Is that this crazy bitch would get the correct treatment for her disorder so she would not pull others into her living hell. I know life is learning, and any man that gets caught up with a borderline really knows what I am talking about here. Usually the man who attracts a borderline has a lot of inner issues to deal with and a lot of emotional deficits of his own to work through, and the borderline is attracted to the wounded and relishes an opportunity for a new victim and exploits her new victim in a carefully planned and psychotic way. I hate myself for not responding to the red flags earlier, as no emotionally balanced man would fall for the bullshit that a borderline heaps out. Its like what they say.. We are attracted to people of our own emotional vibration. Our wounds leave us open to attracting a borderline, but if we were wiser we would have got rid of them at the first sign this person is actually a dorian gray type puzzle mish mash facade of shattered hell. Its just life and learning. All I know is I will not fall for a crazy ass bitch like this twice. I have learned my lesson. Also something else that is fascinating is the empty headed low lifes that a borderline attracts in her circle.. Enablers, rescuers, dumb shit empty headed females, narcissists, addicts, and the blisfully ignorant..But its impossible for most people to understand what these crazy ass bitches are really like. They do such a good job of putting up a false perception of who they are. All I know its a sore lesson learned in a very painful way.. and this person is condemmed to live a miserable life dragging some other sorry soul to hell.. Burn in hell you fucking crazy psycho!!

  5. MovingForward85 said

    Where is this Megan frm? id laugh if she says South africa. Cause im from South africa. My ex bpd name is Megan. Its crazy how many similarities there are.

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