Addressing Megan’s Issues

December 29, 2011

The commenter quoted in the previous post, “Lashing Out”, is back. Her name is Megan and she seems determined to get a response from me. I am reluctant to respond to her, because this is what borderlines do. They look for people to pull into their drama.

However I will say this- I respect the fact that she wants to have a dialogue. Though I am suspicious. Because usually when a borderline says she wants to have a dialogue, it means she wants an opportunity to prove you are wrong. But, occasionally, I like to post these borderline rants because they give insight into how their troubled minds work.

Megan:

you still responded to me by posting a big thing about what i posted. i dont feel rewarded for anything. and why wouldnt anyone who felt they were being bashed or hurt be on the defense? its human nature. you only see it from your side because you dont have BPD but i can see it from both sides as well. which sucks.

Savory Dish:

Of course you feel rewarded. You seek attention and when people give it to you, you feel rewarded. That’s how your disorder works.

It is important to note that borderlines experience all the same emotions that other people do. So your observation that reacting to being hurt is human nature is partially correct. However, what separates the two is the degree of sensitivity and the degree of reaction. It does not take much to offend or hurt a borderline. They are hyper-sensitive. That is a major part of their disorder. The abusive behavior (both aggressive and passive-aggressive)we see over and over again, is the borderline over-reacting to being hurt.

I will not deny that I have biased opinions. But my opinions are backed up by facts. Your opinions are based on irrational thinking and dysregulated emotions.

Megan:

everyone plays the victim, maybe we do more then others but then why stay in the relationship with us in the first place. at this point i cant even talk to you about it because no matter what i say you would categorize it as some sort of symptom or BPD. shes playing the victim, shes lashing out, shes on the defense, she heartless or whatever i say or am doing. but how can you sit here and past such judgement on people? are you a sociopath? because clearly you dont have any emotions or remorse for the way you talk about us.

Savory Dish:

I want you to read your comment above and tell me who is passing judgment.

Like you said- everybody plays the victim, but borderlines do it much more effectively than others. Borderlines were ONCE victims but they are guilty of re-playing their role as the victim. They are stuck in a state of victimhood. They are guilty of false victimhood. They instigate conflict and cause trouble only to cry victim. They create hostility and then run away crying. Borderlines victimize others and then expect them to remain silent about it.

By labeling me a sociopath, you are only illustrating how borderlines engage in dirty fighting. Dragging people down to your level (aka demonizing the other) will not alter the truth. Trying to make the argument that “we all do it” will not make you feel better about yourself.

Only getting help and getting better will make you feel better. When people like you stop behaving badly, people will stop speaking badly about you. Got it?

Megan:

whats your story? if 40 percent of more of WOMAN as you say have BPD i wonder what one of the many other mental illnesses in the world afflicts you? because clearly someone somewhere hurt you pretty bad. and this is your only way to deal with it? making us feel like shit? an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Savory Dish:

I have never ever said 40% of women have BPD. I challenge you to prove that I have. BPD only affects 2-3% of the population. This is a number in the millions. Out of those millions, 75% are women. Once again, you have illustrated how a borderline’s intense emotions affect the ability to listen and think, the ability to see straight. Your emotions distort reality and that’s what makes you so difficult and dangerous.

What’s my story? Well, if you had actually read my blog, you would know my story. But you weren’t reading. You were reacting and jumping to conclusions. I have had more than a few borderlines hurt me badly. And yes, this is how I deal with it. Rather than bury the past, I have chosen to make it public knowledge. So that others will know they are not alone. So that those who need help may finally get help.

Megan:

the day i wrote my “lashing out” post was the day i was trying to look up medical articles and information on BPD to give to my bf so maybe he could walk this road with me not as blind as others have. because telling someone or exposing that you have a serious mental illness isnt easy. already being depressed i came across this page. its hurtful and mean. its not informative at least not a constructive way of doing it.

Savory Dish:

Just because YOU don’t find it informative, does not mean that many others do not. The best way for these people to deal with the pain a borderline has caused them is to learn more about the horrible things borderlines do. I have no reason to sugar coat the truth. If your feelings are hurt, it’s because you are not yet ready to accept the truth about yourself.

Megan:

you dont go and bash people with mental illness all over the internet making them feel worse about things which in turn is just prolonging the cycle and throwing away any self progress someone might have had.

Savory Dish:

I don’t bash people unless they deserve it. How you feel is your responsibility, not mine. That’s why they call it SELF-esteem. Nobody is forcing you to read this blog. It is YOUR choice. Until you accept that you are responsible for your own moods, you will never get better.

Megan:

you dont know what people have been through and just because someone with BPD may have a severe case doesn’t mean they are all the same cases. everyone is different, some ppl are worse then others, some people dont even know they have it, some people have been working with it their whole lives.

Savory Dish:

Yes, I often acknowledge that not all borderlines are created equal. Some of my readers are borderlines. Some have even told me they enjoy this blog. Some have acknowledged how horribly they have treated others. These are the borderlines who have a chance. Then there are borderlines like you.

Megan:

i never said the way i treat people in my life is right and i never said im not a shitty person for it. but you are no saint my friend. but you will not sit here and say you have done nothing wrong?

you were never mean or hurt a single person in your life? you cant point a finger without pointing one at yourself unless you are a saint.

Savory Dish:

So dragging people down to your level makes you feel better? This is a familiar borderline tactic. Nobody is a saint, so therefore you feel better about treating people like shit, including loved ones.  I don’t treat people like shit unless they act like shit. That’s pretty fair. Don’t you think?

Megan:

you are doing anyone any good here besides being back in high school and honestly acting just like the people you so loath, be being a bully.

Savory Dish:

There you go AGAIN, demonizing people so you can stay the victim.

Megan:

id love to meet you, not to be an asshole but to have a serious conversation with you, id like to know how you came to all this. who hurt you so much that it caused you to write a blag about it….it saddens me really.

Savory Dish:

I can not have a serious conversation with someone whose logic is twisted by emotions. The only reason I am having this conversation with you is so others can see how borderlines operate.

Megan:

and what do you say to those people i warn to stay away from me? because i warn and tell everyone i met or date what i have and how it might end. what do you do when they dont listen? you ever think that maybe they are as screwed up as i am? because im starting to think so.

Savory Dish:

I tell those people to take responsibility for their own well-being as I have done. I tell them to stay away from people like you, because it will only end in misery. There’s a chance they may be as screwed up as you are. But borderlines tend to look for people who are less screwed up then them. Someone who will take care of them (aka enablers).

Every time you get involved with someone, you are harming yet another human being. You are perpetuating the cycle of abuse. You know you are not healthy enough for a relationship and yet you allow it to get serious. That’s what makes you irresponsible. Don’t get involved until you get better. No warning is necessary if you don’t get involved.  The truth is you want them to ignore your warnings.

Should Fucked Up People Be in a Relationship?