Just Can’t Get Enough

August 6, 2011

This video is dedicated to a recent poster KSG.  Often ex-partners of borderlines feel ashamed when they are still longing for someone who basically treated them like dirt. This song comes to mind, because many of these people don’t realize abusive relationships are strangely addictive. One does not simply “move on” or “get over” co-dependent relationships. Recovery will always seem slower than it should be. Especially, when you’ve had a history of abusive relationships. With each abusive relationship the hole is dug deeper and deeper. The trick is to break the habit. Easier said than done. These destructive patterns took a lifetime to learn, it will take a good amount of time to unlearn.

2 Responses to “Just Can’t Get Enough”

  1. savorydish said

    Why is their love so addictive? Because borderlines are good at charming people. They are good at making you feel like their savior, their soulmate.They give you the high of feeling loved and wanted. Who doesn’t want that?

    They tell you sob stories to pull you in. They create imaginary demons so that you will feel like their knight in shining armor.

    They suck you into their vortex. And then they put you up on a pedestal to make sure you never ever abandon them. A borderline is very adept at creating unbreakable bonds. They are very good at baiting. They are very good at playing with people’s hearts and minds.

    They will smother you with “love”. But if you don’t reciprocate with the commensurate amount of love, they will punish you and seek retreat.

    Borderlines don’t usually become abusive until the end of a relationship. They test your limits, to see how much abusive behavior you will take. When the intimacy starts becoming more intense, they will start to feel suffocated. That’s when they look for a way out, a way to sabotage the relationship. Once the high of the honeymoon period is gone, they will start to look for excitement. They will create drama or look for friends with benefits.

  2. savorydish said

    The more manipulative the borderline (histrionic/narcissistic), the harder it is to break the bond. If your ex was inclined to play the damsel in distress, you will feel a great sense of loss. You will feel a tremendous void. If your ex made a hasty exit it will feel like the air has been sucked out of you.

    This has nothing to do with how special the borderline was. It is merely the absence of a co-dependent bond that has you reeling. It will feel like part of you is missing.

    People will give you all sorts of well-meaning advice in this period of withdrawal, but most likely it will be useless. Useless because they don’t realize your relationship was actually an addiction. They don’t realize you are going through withdrawal symptoms.

    They will say “move on” or get a hobby. But anything you do will feel empty compared to the high you got from your co-dependent relationship. Even going out or dating other people will seem unfulfilling.

    If your borderline was actually a surviving twin, your bond will be even harder to break. Because basically the borderline used you to replace her long-lost twin (to fill the void). When the borderline leaves, you will feel like YOU have lost a twin (soul-mate).

    But there is light at the end of the tunnel. It does get better. But you will have to suffer to get there. Such is the nature of any addiction recovery. But in the end, the spell will be broken and you will wonder what the hell you were thinking. But if you’ve done your research you will know exactly what you were thinking.

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