After a short hiatus, Ms magazine’s Stephanie Hallett is back, defending (you guessed it) questionable women. It seems she is the resident expert on this topic. It seems she has a soft spot for troublemakers. Troublemakers who create trouble and then claim victimhood. It makes you wonder why she is so fond of women of ill repute.

Ms. Hallett is more determined than ever to prove that the world is out to destroy womankind. This time she has placed her victim spotlight on a two British girls who were gang-raped by a bunch of soccer players. Disturbing news for sure, but what’s even more disturbing is the two girls were 12 years-old.

So why is Ms Hallett so angry? Well, it seems the judge went easy on the soccer players because the girls solicited THEM for sex. Ms. Hallett’s anger would seem justifiable, if it weren’t for the fact that these 12 y.o. girls lied to the boys and told them they were 16. They went so far as to change their age on their Facebook profile page.

They texted the boys and arranged a meeting in a cold park in the middle of the night. As you can see, these are not your ordinary 12 year-olds.  They already show signs of extreme attention-seeking tendencies. While other 12 y.o. girls are chatting on the phone about how cute Justin Bieber is, these girls are staging orgies in the park. But Ms. Hallett seems to think these poor little conniving girls were taken advantage of, despite the fact that they were the ones who misled the boys (ages 16-20).

The judge released the boys early, because it was clear the girls had masterminded the little late-night get-together. They were not drugged or beaten into submission. In his words, they “wanted” sex.  This has the crew at Ms. magazine up in arms. How dare he state the truth? How dare he suggest these little girls got themselves into trouble? How dare he suggest they asked for it?

But wait a minute, they did ask for it. They did, after all, ask these lads to meet them in a park in the middle of the night. What did they think was going to happen? Did they think they were going to hold hands and exchange kisses under the tree? No, not these girls. These are the kind of girls who know exactly what they are doing. The fact that these little girls got more than what they bargained for and the fact that they were 12, does not mitigate the fact that they orchestrated this sex fest. Here’s how it supposedly went down:

The girls told the men they were 16 years old and had sneaked away from a party to be with them after exchanging suggestive text messages, it was alleged.

The court heard how after driving to the park with the men, the girls separated and while one appeared to be reluctant to engage in any sexual activity, the other went to the far end of the area and called the defendants over one-by-one to have full sex or perform sex acts on them.

The judge heard that the most active of the two girls, mentioned in five of the six charges, could not have been trusted by the prosecution as a witness.

She was also being investigated over an unrelated false rape allegation and had a fake age on her Facebook page.

(You will not find the above account in Stephanie Hallett’s article but you can read more here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1367377/Six-footballers-jailed-gang-rape-12-year-old-girls-midnight-park-orgy.html#ixzz1TXWQO5sJ)

But but… they’re only 12. So naturally we are suppose to assume these little girls are sweet and innocent. But these are not your ordinary 12 year olds. Some would say they are sexually advanced for their age. At the tender age of 12, they have already mastered the fine art of lies and manipulations. They are luring boys to their demise and then turning around to claim victimhood. Now where have we seen this familiar act before? The classic “femme fatale bait and switch” as performed by 12 year-old girls. Yes, this is very alarming.

These girls were looking for trouble. But girls like this, can only cause so much trouble on their own. So they look for the company of bad boys. They look for bad boys because they know they will be down for some trouble.  It was clear at least one of these girls wanted sex, even though they may have had ambivalent feelings about it after the act. Something tells me they have a history of inappropriate sex (a history of abuse), giving them mixed feelings of pleasure and pain.

They could be hanging out with nice boys. But nice boys are boring. These kinds of girls want excitement and danger. They want what they can not have. Seduction makes them feel powerful. You see, these “victimized” girls are actually predators. They know exactly what they are looking for. They didn’t just accidentally end up at the park. This is not Little Red Riding Hood. These are she-wolves looking for he-wolves.

These are girls with a self-destructive streak, and they are looking for people to take down with them. Girls like this have a love-hate relationship with men. They love to use and abuse boys but they are shocked when they are the ones who are used and abused. The only way to seek retribution for this feeling is to claim victimhood. Let society punish the bad boys. Use society as their proxy, to re-write/re-frame their bad decisions.

Now why oh why do I smell the scent of borderline personality disorder? And why does Ms. Hallett always show up when this funk is in the air? Why does a feminist like Stephanie Hallett only support troubled women? Why does she work so hard to make these troublemakers look like poor defenseless waifs/martyrs? Clearly she has a soft spot for these little devils. Why do you suppose that is?

Is Stephanie Hallett really the voice of compassion she pretends to be? Is she really the defender of those cast out from the justice system, those dismissed by society. Maybe Stephanie Hallett is just a very forgiving person. Maybe she’s just trying to reach out to these troubled girls.

Or… maybe Stephanie Hallett has a secret agenda. A personal interest. Maybe she’s just another angry survivor looking for revenge. Maybe she has a secret hatred of all men. If she is so concerned about victimized little girls, why did she not write about Caylee Anthony? or JC Dugard?

Is Ms. Hallett yet another survivor trying to re-write her own past? It would seem like she is rushing to defend these poor little 12 year olds but is she merely rushing to her own defense? Suddenly the plot thickens.

What appears to be a fight for social justice, now seems like an under-handed attempt to justify bad decisions that were made along the way. What seems like a fight for sisterhood, now seems like an exploitation of rape as a means to prove the existence of the mythological “rape culture” I have been hearing so much about. What seemed like a tragic story about the victimization of under-aged girls, now seems like a very self-serving attempt to manipulate the public with sensational news stories. News stories that have been revised to tell a much different story than was originally intended. Stephanie Hallett is very good at sensationalizing the news. Rape of little 12 year old girls! Oh the humanity!

These girls didn’t deserved to be raped. Nobody does. But they did ask for it. Literally. So I’m not so sure it was rape. I’m no prude, but 12 year old girls should not be asking for sex. They should be entertaining crushes and discussing the latest Harry Potter movie. These girls are way too sexually experienced for their age and that suggests a history of sexual abuse and a lack of proper boundaries. I’m gonna go out on a limb to say that these girls probably don’t have the most ideal parents.

Ms. Hallett is once again suggesting that if a woman (or a girl) shouts rape, they are above reproach. Girls who are raped shall not be held responsible for their actions. And by defending their behavior, Stephanie Hallett is sending out a message to young borderline girls just like these. She is telling them that it’s ok to cause trouble as long as you place the blame on others. She is telling them they don’t have to be responsible for their own well-being.

Don’t get me wrong- these boys are no saints and they are certainly not innocent.  But they have been arrested and publicly humiliated for a crime that may have technically been statutory rape but should not be confused with forced rape. They will be labeled sex offenders for the rest of their life. But that is not enough for the likes of Stephanie Hallett. She makes it sound like she wants justice, but what she really wants is nothing short of revenge. I suspect she is looking to resolve her own past. I suspect these stories remind her of a past that leaves her feeling uneasy. And if that is so, then she needs to deal with her past. Instead of superimposing her past and her will onto others.

The think tank at Ms. magazine seems to believe we can lock up all the rapists in the world.  The FBI and the entire law enforcement community have failed to do so, but these feminist seem to think they aren’t trying hard enough. Stephanie Hallett believes this judge is incompetent and outdated. Just as she thinks everyone, from the NY Times to the FBI, is incompetent and outdated. Everyone is evil and she is on the side of all that is right and just. What a fanciful world she lives in, that Stephanie Hallett.

Their solution is very simple- rapists should not rape and society should tell rapist not to rape. Apparently, rapists did not receive the memo from Ms. magazine’s HQ. But maybe if these angry survivors sign more petitions, rapists will finally get the message and then they will reconsider their rather inappropriate ways. Under pressure from angry feminist, they will collectively decide that rape is no way to treat a woman.

After all, rape is rape and kids should just say no to drugs. And if we just held hands and sang Kumbaya, the world would be a better place. According to the writers and editor at Ms. Magazine, the problem is very black and white (as in black and white thinking). Has society over-complicated the issue? Or has Stephanie Hallett over-simplified it?

Stephanie Hallett, and those like her, are under the impression that society ignores the plight of women. But that simply is not so. At least, not in this case. When the judge made his decision to consider the circumstances leading up to this unfortunate event, he had made the very accurate observation that these little girls were no victims. Yes, they were 12. But these were very manipulative little 12 yr-old girls. They were desperate for attention. The wrong kind of attention. The worst kind.

This was not a slight against all womankind. No, this was a loud declaration that society will not put up with nonsense. Nonsense created by a small minority of troublemakers who bear a striking resemblance to borderline personalities.

For it is well-documented that this small group of troublemakers have a history of false accusations and abusing the legal system. They do so, not because they are victims, but because they have an insatiable need for attention. They are crying out for help, but seeking it in wildly inappropriate ways. They are re-playing the drama of their past as if to say- this is what happened to me long long ago. These girls and boys should both be in treatment. Not in a courthouse. Jail time will not solve this age-old problem.

Ultimately, this is not a legal issue or a gender issue. It is a mental health issue. But Stephanie Hallett shies away from such topics. We can only guess why. The solution lies in addressing sociological and psychological issues, not with false notions of victimhood. It requires a sensitive and educated approach as opposed to a black and white approach. This kind of problem requires years of specialized treatment. Not a sledgehammer.

Stephanie Hallett condemns all those who would suggest these little girls should have known better. Because god forbid women avoid risky situations. 12 year old girls should not have to worry about being raped when they meet soccer players for sex. They should not have to worry about sending out the wrong message to boys when they lie about their age. What has this world come to when a 12 yr can’t pretend to be 16, just so she can have sex with older boys? I can see why Stephanie Hallett is outraged.

The boys have learned their lesson. I’m not so sure the girls have. If anything, they were the ones who were let off easy. There is no jail time for this kind of troublemaker. Little girls get a hall pass because they are little girls. They say they were raped. I say they were looking for trouble. And they got it. Sure, they got more than they bargained for, but that’s what happens when you go looking for trouble.

But this will not stop Hallett and Co. from defending troublemakers. Always the victim, never the abuser. From their viewpoint, troublemakers are treated unfairly. To them, the established forms of justice are unjust and outdated. They believe society supports rape and BPD is over-diagnosed.

It’s safe to say (at least here) that these little girls (these products of arrested development) have a lot of growing up to do. And I don’t mean sexually. I would suggest that Stephanie Hallett also has some growing up to do, before she continues to offer her “sage” advice to young feminists around the blogosphere. My message to her is this: the problem with the world lies with troublemakers, not the rest of the world.

I am reminded of this quote by a nurse advising her fellow nurses on how to deal with borderlines:

Most folks of BPD WERE victims at one time. That is not the problem, however. The problem is that the BPD derives benefits in remaining a victim…and will fight tooth and nail to remain one. Lots of rewards, lots of power, lots of attention are won by it. It is better to focus on being a survivor, moving forward, removing oneself from it.

I’m sure Stephanie Hallett will continue scouring the news for stories of troublemakers. She, herself, is a troublemaker. No one will ever accuse her of being obsessive. But that’s what she is. She is obsessed and determined to make all the troublemakers of the world look like martyrs for the cause. Is she trying to re-write her own past? That’s a question for Stephanie Hallett.

If you think Ms magazine can do a better job of telling the whole story, write to the senior editor mkort@msmagazine.com

Dr. Drew was not the only one to comment on Winehouse’s death. Val Kilmer, having played many addicts, had a few words. He made the observation that some creative people are too sensitive for this world.

If this sounds a lot like BPD, it’s for a good reason. There is speculation that Winehouse showed all the signs for BPD. Borderlines often use alcohol and drugs to self-medicate, to numb the pain. Sometimes they use it to end their life. To most, it seems like self-destructive behavior. To those who experience this much pain, it’s the only way they can cope.

Yes, they tried to make her go to rehab. But people this troubled always have excuses. Borderlines who manage to seek treatment will often quit prematurely. Instability and inconsistency is part of their nature. In the end, it is their downfall.

 

You know… the champions of untreated survivors. The vanguards of BPD-like behavior. The high-priestesses of histrionics. Where are they now?

Remember Stephanie Hallett of Ms. Magazine? The one who started the Great Blog War between Savory Dish and the Hordes of TigerBeatdown. It seems her career in defending questionable women has abruptly ended. Did she go under cover? Or did she run away? Did things get a little too… um… crazy?

Perhaps Ms. Stephanie is tired of pointing fingers at others. Tired of fighting to re-write her sordid past. Tired of placing blame somewhere else. Tired of manufacturing chaos, misinformation and distractions. Tired of covering up her shame. Tired of recruiting proxies to fight her battles. One can only hope she has taken time off to work on Stephanie.

And what of our dear Shady McDoyle? She seems to have disappeared off the face of Tumblrdom. Have we seen a change of heart? Is she done recruiting the troubled and naive to her bogus causes? Is she done using the blogosphere to compensate for her low self-esteem? Am I too bold to think that Shady has developed a conscience? Has she realized that acting out will not mend her wounds or change her traumatic past? One can only hope.

And then there’s Garland. Still riding out his Tumblr addiction. But focusing more on changing himself. A much more reasonable goal than trying to change the world. Wouldn’t you say? Perhaps he is slowly realizing that the struggle to change his own life is more noble than the charade for social justice. He still has that unquenchable need for attention. But maybe he’s decided to set a better example for all the little Garlands out there. Perhaps some day he will write that Great American Novel.

And then, of course, we have the Lesser Ones. The Angry Offspring of Tigerbeatdown. Miss Lex, for instance, has given up her “shitass lesbian rage” for a kinder gentler blog filled with adorable cat pics and amusing gifs. The infamous Qbert is not so infamous these days. She too has chosen a quiet lifestyle of self-reflection. And what happened to our little sprite, Avitty of Lancashire? She is no longer issuing death threats on the internet. Has she seen the error of her ways? One can only hope.

Are we seeing an end to an era? An era where the fight for social change is being lead by the emotionally damaged. An era where acting out (ie. acting like an unhinged bitch) is the cool thing to do? Are we seeing an end to all the high-drama? Those who “trolled for social justice” and over-indulged in calling people out got a taste of their own medicine. It’s safe to say they did not care for the taste. Have they learned their lesson?

It’s been exactly a year now since I started writing about the terrible effects of BPD. Have people, who bear a striking resemblance to borderlines, finally accepted the fact that they are the children of trauma? Do they finally see their pattern of disruptive and self-destructive behavior? Do they now realize that THEY are the source of their shame? Will they stop abusing the victim card and using it as a free pass to behave badly? Have we all learned the cost of untreated trauma?

My dearly-departed borderline ex once promised to change for me. She failed to keep that promise. She failed because she was putting on an act for me. Or rather an act for her benefit, her selfish needs and her irrational fears. More manipulations and lies to keep me from abandoning her. Buying time, so she could find a replacement. One who would be much easier to fool.

My borderline ex could not change her bad habits or her embarrassing ways but yet she launched a career to change the world. Perhaps she has finally seen the irony of this folly. She demanded that the world change, but yet she remained the same. She has failed to hold herself accountable for her questionable behavior. And thus failed to hold herself up to her own standards.

But that was then. Where is she now? Has she stopped living a lie? Has she come to terms with her condition? Does she now acknowledge the pain life-long trauma has caused her? Will she acknowledge the pain she has caused others? Has she traded outrage and irresponsibility for a more introspective approach? Has she finally grown up? No longer daddy’s little girl. No longer acting out. No longer misplacing her rage. No longer abusing the trust of loved ones. Has she traded in the song and dance act for a real commitment towards change? One can only hope.

The trial is over. But so many question remain unanswered. Who killed that cute sweet innocent child? And what part did Casey play in her tragic death? Perhaps the best evidence is Casey’s own strange behavior. Behavior that I know all too well. Looking at that image above, I can’t help but be reminded of a troubled chameleon I use to know. Let’s take a look at this behavior through the eyes of Dr. Drew.

So the big question is- Was Casey telling the truth when she dropped the bomb about her father and brother sexually abusing her? At least one expert believes she is showing symptoms of sexual abuse. In her words, “Look at her (Casey). She shows no emotion at all.” Emotional detachment during times of stress is how most survivors cope with the horror of being sexually assaulted. Personally, I wasn’t surprised to hear about sexual abuse in Casey’s past. Whenever you have a person who is this fucked up, it is a clear sign that there was some form of extreme abuse or neglect in his/her past.

Dr. Drew brings up another point that I have brought up here many times- people who are victimized at a young age are often repeatedly victimized over and over again. This is why they are so screwed up- compound trauma. But what he does not mention is that people this screwed up are also prone to lies and false victimhood. This is why it is so hard to sort the lies from the truth.

Meg Strickler adds, “The whole family shows signs of being off kilter.” Dysfunctional families are where the history of abuse and victimization begin. It is also where personality disorders are formed. It makes you wonder if the parents were there in court to support their daughter. Or were they there to cover up their own tracks? Dysfunctional families are very good at hiding their dark secrets.

Strickler makes the call that Casey will eventually be acquitted. And sadly, she is right. So was this indeed just an accident? Was Casey Anthony just guilty of being an incompetent mother? Is sexual abuse an excuse for being a horrible parent and a horrible human being?

The insights by experts only leaves more questions. With someone like Casey, who is so good at lying, it’s hard to know what’s true. There’s a chance Casey is so screwed up, she doesn’t even know what the truth is. So what happens when someone is caught lying? They often go into hiding. They run away and change their identity. The shame is too much to bear. This is especially true for survivors. Surviving is their priority. This next video features an expert in lying, she also talks about the liar’s need to hide.

But it’s not just the experts offering speculation. There’s plenty of armchair analysis going on out there.

This observation was obviously made before the revelation of sexual abuse. I have personally seen how survivors react to stress. I have seen PTSD with my own eyes. And I can tell you it is entirely possible for someone, who has experienced a severely traumatic event, to block out emotions during another traumatic event. It’s called dissociation. It’s why a survivor can act cold and callous after hurting someone. It’s why they can be seen laughing and partying it up days after the death of their child.

I have personally experienced someone screwing me over and then, days later, acting like they are having the time of their life (bella vita). It’s hard to believe, but this kind cold-hearted behavior is a survival skill for some survivors. Escapism gets them through the pain.

When someone is constantly experiencing feelings of emptiness and boredom, they might create chaos just for excitement. It is quite possible that Casey enjoyed the media circus surrounding her case. She probably reveled in her own celebrityhood. It’s a sickening thought. But then again, she is obviously very sick.

Casey Anthony does indeed show signs of NPD, BPD and possibly Antisocial PD. But I would not rule out PTSD. PTSD is often co-morbid with BPD. This observer has brought up some classic NPD symptoms that we can all look out for.

When you criticize someone and they go absolutely ballistic on you, that’s a sign of someone who has a fragile sense of self. For these damaged souls, shame easily turns to rage. Narcissists are not just guilty of excessive self-love. In fact, they often have very low self-esteem. Any self-aggrandizement on their part is compensation for what they feel they lack.

The most important thing to note is that narcissists take advantage of other people. And yes, this can cross over into antisocial behavior. They exploit and manipulate others with ease. They abuse the law and they abuse the good nature of those around them to get what they want. They can be excessively brutal and ruthless. And sometimes heartless. They disregard the feelings of others and have very little empathy.

Selfishness is a core characteristic of a narcissist. It’s all about their needs and their pain. And you are just a vehicle to get where they want to go. And if you are no longer useful, then you will be discarded. If you stand in their way, you will be pushed aside.

But is Casey Anthony capable of murder? Does being a narcissistic borderline mean you are capable of killing another human being? It’s hard to say. Bear in mind, a narcissistic borderline needs a lot of attention. And they will do anything to get it.

Even the love of a child is not enough. It would not be unusual for this kind of person to see a child as a barrier between her and the adoration of the world. It was said that Casey often felt like her family loved Caylee more than her. Was she jealous to the extent that only borderlines can be jealous? Was she afraid loved ones would choose Caylee over her? Did she fear abandonment so much that she did the unthinkable?

Or was this just a case of extreme negligence? Narcissists are so self-absorbed they can not care for another. At times, they are experiencing so much internal pain it is impossible for them to feel the pain of others. As Dr. Drew has noted, people like Casey are like vortexes. Sucking people into their drama and tragedy.

Bad things happen to those who get sucked in. Death and mayhem are not uncommon in the world of trauma-related personality disorders. Little Caylee may very well have been another casualty of this upside down world. Little children can’t fight back. They can’t understand why people do horrid things. They are completely innocent and therefore completely vulnerable.

BPD, NPD, PTSD- All these disorders are very similar. They are often co-morbid and are all variations of trauma-related disorders. The strange behavior of Casey Anthony is a result of deep psychological injuries. Injuries that often go unnoticed until the unspeakable happens. Anybody who has experienced any type of trauma will show some if not all of these symptoms. The greater the trauma, the greater the psychological disturbance.

But are they capable of murder? I’m not sure about that. But I am sure they are capable of causing great pain for loved ones. I am sure that when trauma is unchecked (without treatment), a person goes from bad to worse. Their lives will always be filled with questionable behavior and questionable scenarios. Their misery will often become the misery of others. The cycle perpetuates itself until society says- enough is enough.

Gee, I wonder why that is?

It’s not like Ms. Magazine to be so quiet about about a sexual-assault case.

Do you suppose it has something to do with the new revelation that the maid was not quite the victim they had made her out to be? Previous to this, they couldn’t get enough of this story. Angry rape survivors were pushing each other out of the way to get a chance to throw stones at the man they were sure was guilty as sin:

… I do not see anything different in the way the barbaric media handles the case. The attorney for this poor rape victim have to keep saying to the press, she is not lying, she is of good character but the rapist is always assumed to be of good character. Nothing is changed. They are still claiming this has to be a conspiracy and you cannot even find articles calling out men for the barbaric rape victim shaming the way there were some articles calling out men with the Lara Logan case…

… I mean just google feminist on IMF rape case and you have a few articles claiming Strauss-Kahn is a victim of false rape charge and that the feminist media is the reason why he is being charged. Feminist media, my ass more like misogynist media still claiming conspiracy and asking about the integrity of the rape vicitm. Men still accuse rape victims of lying…

Funny how she assumed the maid was “of good character”. Well, it turns out the maid is not as pure and wholesome as most survivors assumed. The outraged woman above is now nowhere to be found. She has run out of outrage. It never occurred to this angry woman that the maid was trying to shake down DSK. In fact, she was upset at the mere mention of such a suggestion.

So what can we learn from this recent turn of events?

For one, never rush to judgment. Especially, when a person’s reputation is at stake. Never assume guilt because the accused has a higher social standing or just happens to be a man. And never assume that accusations are true unless you are 100% certain of guilt. Thank god the justice system is not run by angry rape survivors or all the men of the world would be locked up behind bars.

Ms. Magazine led the rush to find DSK guilty. In fact, Stephanie Hallett of Ms. Mag applauded the swift action. And now they have mud on their faces. But rather than have the courage and decency to admit they were a little too trigger happy, they remain silent. Suppressing their shame is a tradition in survivor circles. But in doing so they have revealed a secret agenda. One that means to push forth the notion of “rape culture” and condemn men as natural-born rapists.

It seems Ms mag’s writers are trying to re-write their own personal stories. And they are willing to throw anyone under the bus to achieve this goal. It’s a shame because I once thought feminism was about fighting for all women. But it seems lately they are in the habit of fighting for questionable women with questionable accusations.  They are in the habit of exploiting stories of sexual assault as a means to prove that men are untrustworthy. But in their rush to prosecute, have they proven that they are the ones who are untrustworthy?

I don’t know about Garland, but I thought that was pretty hilarious. Being the hyper-sensitive self-appointed feminist, Garland summed up the skit as ” women who cheated on you deserve to be slut-shamed and humiliated in public.” This is a perfect example of how a histrionic self-victimizer might over-react.

Notice he never calls out women who cheat, women with a lack of boundaries or women who are cruel and selfish. But instead chastises the men who “slut-shame and humiliate” the cheaters. I wonder if Garland would ever call out a male cheater? Because in the eyes of Saint Garland, women are above reproach. And infidelity is a petty sin. This says a lot about Garland and those who see him as some kind of prophet from the mountains.

It says they are dealing with a lot of shame. Shame that comes (not from Donald Glover) but from an uncontrollable sexual impulse. The kind of promiscuity that may have been the result of sexual abuse at a young age and then later resulted in sexual assault in their young adulthood.

What they call rape is often a story of a college student who has a history of alcohol abuse, low self-esteem and a desperate need for attention and validation. Their behavior always seems to be questionable and their stories of rape even more questionable. Questionable because these are people who are ambivalent about sex. Sex is a source of conflict and confusion.

That’s why these damaged souls became feminists. So they can erase their shame. Or at least, try. But their feminist outrage is a cover for untreated trauma. Their rage has nothing to do with social change. They are crying out for help. But instead of seeking to mend their wounds, they expect the rest of the world to accommodate their special needs, to tippy-toe around their delicate sensibilities.

Donald Glover isn’t slut-shaming. He is turning pain into comedy. That’s what comedians do. That’s why it’s funny. You have to be a self-righteous/self-pitying douchebag to think he is victimizing women. If anything he’s making fun of men in this video. But it never occurs to dear Garland that women who cheat are humiliating themselves and labeling themselves sluts.

Garland feels we are being too harsh on cheaters. Perhaps he feels such shame hits too close to home. But what I’m suggesting is- If you feel shame, maybe that is your conscience telling you something. If the shoe fits, wear it.

No matter how much I point it out, Garland and Co just don’t seem to get it- THEY are the source of their shame and humiliation. Not the people pointing out their bad behavior. Until they acknowledge their behavior, it will continue to cause them shame and humiliation.

trigger alert: graphic depictions of cutting.

Cartoonish Women

July 1, 2011

Does the woman, that you’re with, spend a lot of time in front of the mirror?

Does she make cartoonish facial expressions and theatrical gestures?

Are her reactions overly-dramatic (like a bad soap opera)?

Does she cry a lot to elicit sympathy or avoid blame?

Does she inappropriately flirt with everybody?

Does she enjoy playing the mother hen?

Does she tell people how to dress? How to act?

Does she have promiscuous tendencies?

When something bad/sad happens, does she act like she’s having the time of her life?

If you answered “yes” to most of these, then you’re probably in a relationship with a histrionic personality. Which means you are in a relationship with a person who has no problem using and abusing people.  This person is highly manipulative and prone to dramatization.

Take everything they say with a grain of salt, because they are habitual (if not pathological) liars. They say what they need to say to get you to do what they want you to do. They create scenarios where they are the damsel in distress, you are the knight in shining armor and someone else is the evil villain. This is a classic histrionic act. Don’t fall for it. Or you will end up feeling like a sucker. Worse yet, you might eventually become the evil villain.

Once a histrionic squeezes the life out of you, they will flush you down the toilet. Once they realize you are on to their act, they will drop you like a hot potato. They may have convinced you that they love you. But you have been duped. Histrionics are incapable of intimacy. Don’t be surprised when they act like nothing ever happened. You will say, “But but, I thought you loved me?” And they will wonder why you don’t “move the fuck on”.

Histrionics are the femme fatales that so many films have warned us about. They are the Sirens from Greek mythology and many other cautionary tales. They are damaged goods. They are great at seduction but bad at life. The glamor and the make-up are covering up a life of never-ending tragedy. If you allow them to suck you into their drama, they will take you down with them. They perform and tell stories to draw attention. Their thirst for attention is insatiable. The trick is to avert your gaze.

Living with BPD

July 1, 2011