Outing a Weiner

June 12, 2011

Things seem to be getting worse for Anthony Weiner. And it’s hard to say he doesn’t deserve it. He’s been a bad boy. But being outed might have been the best thing that ever happened to him. Had he not been outed, he might have continued his escapades. He might have gone on with his double life and his self-destructive ways.

If we’ve learned anything, it’s that disordered people are not always easy to spot. A narcissist is particularly good at hiding their dysfunction. But eventually it all catches up to you. Anthony Weiner has hit rock bottom. He is about to lose his family and his career. But he is seeking treatment. Some might say it’s a little bit late. But better late than never. When a person is living a delusional/narcissistic fantasy, it is almost impossible for them to accept that they need help. Hitting rock bottom forces them to address issues they would have otherwise ignored.

I have to admit that sometimes I feel bad for calling out troubled people. But these are people who are asking for it.  They are screaming for attention. True, I may be feeding their disease but I am also calling attention to their disease. To me, ignoring it is not an option. These are people who act in wildly unacceptable and irresponsible ways. They hurt people and then act like nothing happened. Somebody has to say something.

Unfortunately, these are the kind of people who don’t respond to gentle persuasion. They need to be hit by a Mack truck before they get it. Some have said this blog is excessive. The truth is it probably isn’t enough.

12 Responses to “Outing a Weiner”

  1. savorydish said

    The telling part of this story is the cover up. This gives us the indication that had he not be outed, he would have continued with the deception. And this was someone who was seen as a do-gooder, a guy who fought for social justice.

    So now we must ask how much of this was for show. And is he only seeking treatment for show as well? so he can earn some sympathy points? Without the treatment, this type of deception is entirely real.

    My borderline ex tried to cover up the pain she had caused me. She went so far as to move to another country and ignore my calls. She said she wanted to start fresh but what she meant was she wanted to bury her mistakes and misdeeds. This was not the first time she has run away. It won’t be her last. I can only imagine the lies she has told the current people in her life.

    As Weiner demonstrated, a narcissist has no scruples. They will lie and then play the victim. They will do anything it takes to come out on top. This is not someone you should trust.

  2. savorydish said

    Some people have “diagnosed” Weiner as a sex-addict, others have said this is typical guy behavior. I have seen this behavior in both sexes. Sex is an obvious element to this story. But it goes so much deeper than a guy who literally can’t keep it in his pants.

    This is a guy who has an insatiable need for attention. A man who is so delusional he can’t see how his actions harm others. If you’ve been reading this blog, you know this behavior well. It is so typical of someone who has a profound personality disorder.

    This is not exclusive to any sex or any political party. We are looking at someone who has experienced arrested emotional development. Someone who has been traumatized in some way or another. Someone who is acting out in the present, but reacting to something in their past.

    It is not unusual for someone to make smart choices about their career and then make horrendous mistakes in their personal life. This double life is very common amongst narcissistic types. In the outside world, they behave like adults, but when it comes to intimate relationships they behave like children.

    • savorydish said

      Trauma does not necessarily entail overt child abuse. A neglectful parent, marital strife, poverty, alcoholism- these are all things that can traumatize a child. These factors send a message to a newborn that their survival is at risk. This is why they often display over-emotional impulses. Children are more fragile than we know. The same can be said about adults. Especially ones who were traumatized at a young age.

  3. savorydish said

    A narcissist is basically trying to cover up wounds from their past with self-aggrandizement. They are compensating for feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and low self-esteem.

  4. savorydish said

    Here’s Wiki on NPD. Notice that NPs also split people black and white, just like a BPs.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

  5. savorydish said

    Here are indicators of a sociopath.Notice the similarities to NPs:
    * Glibness/superficial charm
    * Manipulative and conning
    * Grandiose sense of self
    * Pathological lying
    * Lack of remorse, shame or guilt
    * Shallow emotions
    * Incapacity for love
    * Need for stimulation
    * Callousness/lack of empathy
    * Poor behavioral controls/impulsive nature
    * Early behavior problems/juvenile delinquency
    * Irresponsibility/unreliability
    * Promiscuous sexual behavior/infidelity
    * Lack of realistic life plan/parasitic lifestyle
    * Criminal or entrepreneurial versatility
    * Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
    * Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
    * Authoritarian
    * Secretive
    * Paranoid
    * Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
    * Conventional appearance
    * Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
    * Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim’s life
    * Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim’s affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
    * Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
    * Incapable of real human attachment to another
    * Unable to feel remorse or guilt
    * Narcissism, grandiosity (self-importance not based on achievements)
    * May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

    Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_know_if_someone_is_a_sociopath#ixzz1PBnb1PW2

    • savorydish said

      Like BPD, we all have traces of NPD in us. That is the dark side of human nature. The point of all this is not to label people but to make people aware of potentially abusive traits. If you find this blog emotionally troubling then that is a sign you may have some of these qualities. You may want to take a more honest look at yourself. If you are incapable of that kind of honesty then you should seek professional and objective help.

  6. savorydish said

    When you allow someone like this into your life, it’s a sign that you have your own issues to deal with. NPs are predators. They look for willing victims. Why did they pick you? What did you do to reward their behavior? Most likely this person wasn’t your first narcissist.

    • savorydish said

      My borderline ex had narcissistic traits. She was extremely manipulative. But when I stopped playing her game and forced her to address her issues, she only became more insecure. And that led to her to become more abusive and manipulative. An NP pushes you out of his/her life when they realize they no longer have control over you.

  7. savorydish said

    Speaking of narcissists, Shady has deleted her Tumblr account. One less forum for her to spew her hate. So maybe some good has come out of calling out a narcissist. Hopefully she, like Garland, will focus on a healthy life.

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