Alcohol is the Most Common Date Rape Drug

June 5, 2011

 

When my borderline ex told me that she had been raped in college, she also told me she believed something had been slipped into her drink. This is a common story told by young college girls. But as I got to know her, I soon realized that this was a woman who had a drinking problem. No roofies necessary. This was a person who lost complete control when she drank. She became another person. A person who had zero inhibitions and a complete lack of boundaries. Was the “date rape drug” story a way for her to avoid blame and shame?

Then I stumbled upon this University study done in Northern Ireland:

ScienceDaily (Oct. 22, 2007) — Young women in Northern Ireland are leaving themselves vulnerable to rape or serious sexual assault because of their binge drinking, according to research carried out by staff and students within the Forensic and Legal Medicine team at the University of Ulster…

The research undermines claims that the use of ‘date-rape’ drugs or ‘spiking’ of drinks is the major factor involved. The study failed to find any trace of specific date rape drugs such as GHB, Rohypnol or ketamine, although it did caution that delays in reporting alleged assaults or in taking samples could mean that such drugs could no longer be detected.

The same sentiments had been left in the comment section of Ms Magazine‘s blog recently. And sure enough, someone responded with accusations of “victim blaming”. According to feminist theorists, asking people to drink responsibly (or not drink at all if they have a history of alcoholism) is equal to victim blaming. This type of irresponsible messaging is rampant in feminism. Has feminism been hijacked by untreated rape survivors who refuse to accept responsibility for their behavior?

These people have deluded themselves into believing they are fighting for social justice by screaming “victim blaming”. But all they are doing is perpetuating untreated alcoholism and date rape.  These are not activists. These are denialists who chase people off with pitchforks and torches if they dare speak the truth.This is not a gender issue. It isn’t even a feminist issue. It’s a health issue.

Alcoholism and the personality disorders/childhood trauma that go with it brings misery and repeated victimization to both men and women. If you’re a man, it brings the danger of violence. If you are a woman, it brings the danger of sexual assault. No amount of shaming, outrage or petition signing will change these facts.

It’s not as if the writers at Ms Magazine aren’t aware of the link between alcohol and rape. Stephanie Hallett of Ms Magazine quoted this fact :

The victim reports while under the influence of drugs or alcohol (although studies have shown that in 55 percent of rape cases, alcohol or drugs are involved; in acquaintance rape cases, that number is sometimes as high as 80 to 90 percent).

So what gives? Why post an article about rape and then make alcohol a tiny footnote? Why allow misguided souls to spread misinformation? It seems the editors and writers of feminist publications would rather blame the FBI, the NY Times and “rape culture”, then ask people to be responsible for their own well-being. Whether they know it or not, they are doing much harm by suppressing the truth about alcohol and rape. They are providing predators with a steady supply of victims.

Today, I am calling them out. I am challenging feminists and rape advocates to start telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Only then will people who need help, seek it. If you truly care about putting an end to date rape, then put an end to alcohol abuse. Feminist publications can start by talking about the things that lead a person to alcohol abuse- personality disorders and childhood trauma. All of these factors make someone more vulnerable to sexual assault. So why the silence about it?

You can voice your concerns here: letterstotheeditor@msmagazine.com

13 Responses to “Alcohol is the Most Common Date Rape Drug”

  1. savorydish said

    People who are afraid of the truth, will often resort to melodramatic false accusations to stay in denial. They will accuse you of victim-blaming, harassment, misogyny. This is a passive-aggressive defense-mechanism. They attack your credibility to protect their own.

    It is meant to cast them as the victims and you as the abuser. Because this is the type of relationship they are familiar with. But this sort of name-calling only shows you how manipulative emotionally damaged people can be.

  2. savorydish said

    The belief that they must have been drugged, suggests the level of self-deception involved. This is a person who has been traumatized before. This person has a history of hiding shame with elaborate theories and false beliefs. This is a person who has a hard time excepting responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior, so they create fantastical scenarios to hide a much harsher reality. Alcoholics are very good at distorting reality. The alcohol only makes it worse.

  3. savorydish said

    If this person is capable of having false memories of drugging, then there is always a possibility of having false memories of sexual assault. While many of us think nothing of a drunken one-night stand, to some it can trigger memories of a traumatic past.

    So choose your one-night stands wisely. It pays to know your armchair psychology, so you can recognize the signs of someone who is severely traumatized. Learn the difference between someone who is drinking for a good time and someone who is drinking to cover up pain.

    • savorydish said

      If you think a person is screwed up (sober or drunk), don’t even think about having sex with them. Or you could find yourself a victim of false accusations.

  4. savorydish said

    If you were raped because you were too drunk to fend off an attacker, then you need to acknowledge that you have a problem. It doesn’t matter that he was the guilty party. It doesn’t matter if you don’t drink regularly. When bad things happen to you because you can’t control the effect alcohol has on you, then that is a sign of alcoholism. It means you need to seek therapy and attend AA meetings.

  5. exscapegoat said

    Drugging can and does happen. My friend’s a responsible and social drinker. I’ve never seen her have more than 3 drinks in an evening and even then, only if she’s driving and has a lift home or is walking home with friends she trusts.

    One night, she was out with a guy her friends had set her up on a blind date with. She was driving, so she had limited her drink consumption to one. Which the guy got for her at the bar. Shortly after, she started feeling sick, so she decided to go home. She lost consciousness and her car crashed into a divider. Fortunately, she wasn’t seriously injured.

    Another friend passed out after having one drink at a work function. And she normally has a much higher tolerance. Fortunately, she was with friends from work, so they waited with her until she came around and then got her into a cab to get her safely home.

    • savorydish said

      I don’t doubt that drugging happens, but it probably happens far less than most people claim. Without evidence that drugging actually happened these are mere claims.

      The above study is enlightening, because these scientist found no evidence that these claims were based on fact. Drugging has become an urban legend told to college girls as a cautionary tale, but there is little evidence for it. If you think you’ve been drugged and raped, why wouldn’t you get tested for it?

      The conclusion of this study is people believe what they WANT to believe. Because saying someone dropped a roofie in my drink, relieves you of any wrongdoing. And that is not the message we should be sending out to young men or women.

      Imagine if a guy hit a person while driving drunk and then said someone had dropped something in his drink and that made him act irresponsibly.
      Well, that’s basically what these women were doing.

      The fact is people get drunk and have sex. If they are screwed up, they will interpret that as rape. There a people out there who are THAT screwed up.

      The point of this post is to identify people who are that screwed up. Those people usually have a history of child abuse, alcoholism and personality disorders. Your friend might very well be an exception, but that leaves many more who fit the bill.

  6. exscapegoat said

    Sorry correction on the friend with the 3 drink max, and even then, only if she’s NOT driving

  7. savorydish said

    It’s not about how many drinks you’ve had. I know people who get drunk off 3 drinks. If someone has a history of sexual abuse, 3 drinks is enough to bring about a dissociative state. Which is essentially the same effect that a roofie has. If this person has a history of not remembering what happened the night before, that is a sign that they have something else going on in their head.

  8. savorydish said

    The point of this post is not to indict people or accuse them of lying. The point of this whole blog is to increase awareness. To identify patterns of behavior that are consistent amongst traumatized/disordered people. What this study shows is that date rape and claims of drugging are symptoms of a much bigger problem.

  9. savorydish said

    My problem with popular feminist viewpoints on this topic is none of it is based on scientific/medical findings. I don’t care if you have a PHd in Feminist Theory or Women’s Studies. Even if you were raped or allegedly raped that does not make you an authority. If you are a survivor speak as a survivor, not as an expert.

    Furthermore, many of these feminist rape advocates have been severely traumatized at some point in their life. Which makes me question their mental capacity. That is not meant to degrade them, it is a fact. Traumatization affects your cognitive abilities, esp. the ability for memory recall.

  10. AM said

    I just think you paint people with a fairly broad brush in this post; Maybe it’s just your writing style I’m not sure.

    Are there people that act the way you claim? Certainly. But i really don’t think that means that EVERYONE that has more than a few drinks (whether intentionally, or because they were not paying attention of whatever other plethora of reasons that can cause an individual to get more drunk than they intended) should then be held solely responsible because someone else decided to capitalize on their incoherence and drunken state. People SHOULD make smart (or smarter) choices you are incredibly correct, and not getting wasted and leaving yourself vulnerable to these scenarios is the first line of defence; but it’s a bit unrealistic to say that’s going to happen in every case. People make mistakes, things happen and it doesn’t mean that someone who is taking advantage of your drunken state (whether you do it often or otherwise) should get absolved of blame because the “victim” should have been more careful, or aware or in control or whatever. The right to life, liberty, freedom from harm and all that.

    College students party, probably more than they should, but many of them go on to lead productive, non-alchohol abusive lives. I feel like you’ve drawn this hard line in the sand. Drank too much growing up/in College etc? You MUST have a problem. The fact that you lived it up in your university days doesn’t always (if rarely) indicate an issue to me. It might be poor decision making (especially on days where you may have gotten extremely intoxicated, leaving yourself vulnerable to harm) but I don’t think it’s right to say all of the responsibility lies on you to ensure you prevent putting yourself in a situation where something like that MIGHT happen. As a very sort of flimsy example, perhaps I might not live in the nicest area and perhaps I could get robbed walking down the street at night. it feels like, by your reasoning I should then avoid doing that entirely (venturing out at night that is) – but this may negatively impact my life, and my choices. Why should I be the only one to change my pattern of behaviour? I should have the right to walk down the street (or drink) and not be fearful that someone is going to rob me (or take advantage of me). Perhaps this is a bit naive, but it was the first example I could think of. And, like I said earlier, I’m sure there ARE people who have issues with substance abuse, and maybe put themselves in vulnerable situations, and futhermore maybe use it for attention/validation/whatever else, but it doesn’t mean that the majority do – which, to me is what your post came across as.

    But I may have missed your point entirely, or perhaps your statements may not have been meant as the generalization that they came across as to me. I’m not sure.

    • savorydish said

      Hi AM,

      You should know this post is based on facts held true by most addiction specialists. These are not just my biased opinions. I am not talking about a person who had one too many drinks. I am talking about a person who has a consistent pattern of self-destructive behavior. This is not about blame. It’s about making people responsible for their actions. If a person drinks so much they are sexually assaulted that is officially a drinking problem. If I drove drunk and killed someone then I must accept responsibility.

      I am not speaking about the majority of people who drink. I am speaking about a small percentage of people who have a pattern of self-victimization. These are not people who are grabbed by a random person in a dark alley way. That kind of rape is actually rare. The majority of rape incidents involve acquaintance rape. And they almost always involve alcohol. So you do the math. Alcoholism is a real problem and it usually indicates this person has a history of childhood abuse and/or personality disorders. Rapists prey on the vulnerable. These are facts. Not my opinions.

      That said, don’t take my word for any of this. Do your own reading. I’m confident you will find the same answers I did.

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