Feigning Outrage

May 5, 2011

When the US government informed the Pakistani government that they had secretly flown into their air space to get Osama Bin Laden, the Pakistani government responded with feigned outrage. They have essentially been caught harboring a known fugitive. But instead of having the decency to own up to their crime, they feigned outrage. This is a common tactic amongst the guilty. It is meant to misdirect the audience. It is meant to take the focus of blame off the guilty and place it on the accuser. They are playing the victim.

When I had confronted my borderline ex about her cheating ways, she too feigned outrage. She accused me of all sorts of ridiculous things. But the intent was clear- she had been busted and this was her way of evading guilt. Like a cornered animal, she lashed out with rage. Her accusations were, of course, baseless. Mostly sad attempts at projecting. Her anger misplaced. In reality, she was angry and disappointed with herself and her shady ways.

Shame is a painful emotion. And for a guilty borderline it is an unbearable pain. A borderline will do anything to escape the pain of embarrassment. But the reality is their desperate song and dance act will only cause them more shame and embarrassment down the line. Meanwhile, the person who is betrayed suffers betrayal twice. They are kicked while they are down. They are punished for questioning questionable behavior. We have seen this behavior over and over again in recent months.

A person who is not even willing to own up to their transgressions is a person unworthy of trust. They are taking advantage of your good nature. Most likely they have already demonstrated a pattern of controlling and deceitful behavior. The lack of remorse is a sign that this pattern is unlikely to change. Get out while you can. Confronting a person who is this manipulative is a no-win situation because such a person will always find a way to turn the tables on you.

One Response to “Feigning Outrage”

  1. savorydish said

    The common misconception is that borderlines are shameless. But in fact, they feel shame so deeply it compels them to cover it up.

    A borderline who betrays someone, wants to avoid reflection. So they jump from one broken relationship to another. Sometimes not even waiting till the old relationship is over to move on.

    This makes them appear to be cold and callous when deep down inside they are hurting more than you will ever know. And if they are in denial- more than they will ever know.

    But this repressed pain eventually catches up with them. Constant meltdowns and panic attacks are the result of a person who has not properly processed their emotions or dealt with past trauma. On the outside, they may seem like they have it all together. But on the inside, they are falling apart.

    Eventually, they will crash and burn.

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