Abusing the Victim Card

March 24, 2011

Recently, a blogger by the name of Infamous Qbert (notice the self-aggrandizement) attacked me because she didn’t like what I was posting. It seems what the medical community calls facts, she calls bullshit. In addition, she was upset, because I was ignoring her and not posting her comments (desperate need for attention). This week I finally got around to addressing her issues (which she is not posting) and now she is accusing ME of harassing and bullying HER. Oh, and how could I forget the accusations of misogyny? For those who are unfamiliar with borderline tactics this is called baiting.

Baiting is when someone attacks you. And then when you fight back, they accuse you of harassment or bullying. It’s a sign of cowardice and some would say BPD. This is a form of projecting, because they are projecting their hostile tendencies onto you. It’s also a display of gaslighting because they are trying to make you feel like you are the deranged one. Beware: this behavior is typical of untreated survivors.

Like Shady, Garland and Lex, I had no idea who Qbert was a month ago. I thought it was just an outdated videogame. It turns out she’s another loudmouth fauxminist who acts tougher than she really is. An untreated survivor that lashes out and then hides behind her victim card and womahood. Throwing screaming cats and accusations of misogyny. Attempting to legitimize her rage by dressing it up with social consciousness.

I have issues with people who abuse the victim card. Mostly because my ex did it all the time. She antagonized and abused me. And then had the nerve to accuse me of being the abuser when I called her out on her bullshit. Not cool. Not cool at all. I’m posting this info, to let these abusers know that the world is wise to their false allegations and false claims to victimhood. Give it up.

What goes around comes around. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. I’m not attacking Qbert because she’s a woman. I’m attacking her because she attacked me first. I’m attacking her because she is a moron playing a fool’s game. Game over, Qbert. Your infamy is just another delusion.

Playing the Victim

35 Responses to “Abusing the Victim Card”

  1. savorydish said

    Dear Qbert,
    It’s obvious you can’t handle the heat. You picked a fight and you ran away like all the other cowards. Just say the word and I’ll be ever so gentle with you.

  2. savorydish said

    Cowards like Qbert hide behind words like “misogyny” and “harassment” because it gives them a false sense of power and entitlement. It’s their protective turtle shell. I’m suppose to run in shame and fear.

    But I don’t because I know her game. Their Jedi mind tricks are useless once you know it is all an illusion. It’s ok for her to call me out. But if I do the same thing, I’m a bully. Boo Hoo.

    This is what happens when someone is traumatized and left untreated. Their pain is like exposed electrical wires, threatening harm to anyone who comes near.

  3. savorydish said

    What’s tragic is that they are perfectly willing to hide behind their victim status, but unwilling to acknowledge the negative effect such traumatization can have on a person’s behavior. They want their cake without the calories. They want their victim card without the stigma. They want society to acknowledge their pain, but yet won’t make the effort to treat that pain.

    Familiarize yourself with the games they play.
    If you ever find yourself in a relationship with a person like Qbert, run. Don’t walk, run the other way. If your partner is unwilling to address his/her issues, you will end up being his/her toxic wastedump. I have yet to have any of these toxic dumpers prove me wrong. Their denial is part of their abuse.

  4. savorydish said

    Untreated borderlines do not take criticism well. Those in denial take it like a threat to their well-being. Even the mere suggestion that they may have BPD, sends them into a tizzy. Threats and allegations are their only weapons. This is how they cope with the pain of self-awareness. They dole it out but they can’t take it. They are far too emotionally fragile to take it.

  5. savorydish said

    QBert claims she is depressed, not borderline. Though there are similarities. There are some major differences.

    Depressed people tend to be withdrawn and introverted. BPs are more manic-depressive. When they are manic they tend to seek conflict and chaos. Their behavior is more similar to a BiPolar than a person suffering from depression.

    Borderlines, especially the high-functioning ones, are very outspoken and surprisingly social. But their relationships are unstable and rocky. Depressed people avoid social situations, including relationships. BPs have a fear of being alone, and rush into relationships even though they know they fear intimacy. This is where denial comes in.

    They are drawn to activism, because they love a good fight. As survivors of trauma, they have a strong sense that some injustice has been done onto them. A depressed person wouldn’t have enough motivation to get out of bed, let alone lead the fight for social justice.

    I also look for a pattern of manipulative behavior. A depressed person is more likely to commit suicide, whereas a BP is more likely to attempt suicide to cope with internal pain or to seek attention.

    Another red flag is impulsivity. Notice how she lashed out at me, a knee-jerk reaction to my postings. She did so without thinking about the consequences. Not thinking I would respond to her hostility and profane language in kind. With BPs there is always a history of regrettable action.

    And finally, we have the abuse of the victim card. This is classic BPD behavior. We have seen this over and over again. The attack followed by a retreat to victim status. This is BP manipulation at its finest.

    I thank Qbert for making that distinction.

  6. savorydish said

    Is this the Infamous QB herself?
    I was wondering when you would show up. I am not here to take credit for my diagnosis. I am more than happy to provide links so that even narcissists like you can read up on your own affliction. Unlike you I’m not trying to impress anyone. Just trying to get the truth out there about toxic people like you. Have a nice day=)

  7. Yasrena said

    Great post! I found you via a link left at Shakesville, a source of endless entertainment, though I’m sure that’s completely unintentional on there part.

    The perpetual victim thing is getting sooooooooo old.

    • savorydish said

      Agreed. As long as you’re not intimately involved with them, their behavior can be pretty hilarious.

      • Yasrena said

        Ah, fuck em. Let them have their pathetic little circle jerk. You’ve got a good blog here, and that’s what matters! 🙂

      • savorydish said

        Thanks Yasrena,
        And you’re right, it is a circle jerk. I checked out that site you mentioned. I was amused by the self-soothing skills. It’s like they use the internet to stay in denial.

      • savorydish said

        A quote from QB’s big mouth-“i have a secret. i don’t read most of what he writes.” No surprise there. Talking out of your ass seems to be a trade secret for these fauxminists.

        She claims feminism has taught her how to skim. Really? Feminism has taught you to be ignorant of the facts? Interesting. They want to engage in debate, but they’re too lazy to do the homework. Preconceived notions is all they have to soothe themselves. Since science doesn’t back them up, they come up with theories. They create their own language (eg. manslpain) to legitimize their rage. Perhaps she should read this post

        This Qbert is no feminist. She is another disordered person using feminism to seek shelter. If you think these mind games are exclusive to me, you should interview some of her ex-girlfriends. I’m sure they would have some horror stories for you.

  8. Yasrena said

    I came back to leave the link for you.

    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2011/03/open-thread_31.html#disqus_thread

    I warn you, this shit is actually pretty foul. The fact that she ran to her friends to make fun of you like some middle schooler is just, shocking.

  9. savorydish said

    My Dearest QB,
    I believe this qualifies as harassment. Do I need to call the Victim’s Right’s Bureau on you? lol.
    Now how do expect me to post your comments when you have deleted almost all of mine? I am well aware of your fauxminist disruption tactics. Trolling for social justice is codeword for disordered person acting out. But you serve a purpose here. You entertain my readers and educate them on how disordered people behave. And you do a pretty good job of directing traffic. So thank you for that. xoxo

  10. savorydish said

    For the record, I don’t think everyone who disagrees with me has BPD. Not like I haven’t heard that stock argument before. Disagreeing with me is not BP behavior. However, reacting in an irrational and angry manner suggest some kind of traumatic past.

    Black and white thinking, narcissistic rage, impulsive behavior, mind games… these are all things that make it highly likely that you have some sort of trauma-related disorder. Your obsession with victimhood leads me to believe that you have been victimized your whole life. This can create serious emotional damage and instability. All of which you have demonstrated without fail.

    It’s true we all have our issues. After dating several women with abuse-related disorders, I certainly have my issues. But I don’t cut my wrists or engage in substance abuse. The fact that you require me to post “trigger alerts” says something about your emotional fragility. Does it not? It’s all relative. And your behavior indicates that you have experienced a relatively high-degree of trauma.

    The truth is I don’t know Qbert well enough to “diagnose” her with BPD. I am not qualified to do so. Even therapists find it difficult to deal with BPD. It requires a specialist. Most therapists do not have the intimate knowledge that most partners do. This is significant when you are dealing with people who have a history of lies and manipulation. People who are very good at acting “normal” and “healthy”.

    But I don’t expect you to take my word for any of this. You could do your own research. I am certain you will find the same answers that I did. Or has feminism taught you to skim over the facts?

  11. savorydish said

    “Teressa”,
    It doesn’t matter if you’re QB or not. You’re all cut from the same cloth. If you think you are something new, you are kidding yourself. (self-delusion) Thanks to this blog I have met hundreds just like you. You all fit the same psych profile. I’m guessing you have had some significant trauma or abuse in your life? Your thirst for drama and emotional detachment gives you away. I’m guessing you live in some small rural town where not much excitement is to be found. The kind of small town where abuses go unnoticed and untreated.

    • savorydish said

      There’s a reason why I entertain trolls like Teressa. Beyond entertainment value, it establishes a pattern of behavior. Patterns of behavior are what define disorders. Contrary to their accusations, I am not diagnosing them. Their patterns of behavior are defining them. I am merely publishing the results.

      I have not posted their remarks because I won’t allow their toxic mess to infest this blog. I won’t allow them to hijack this blog with their drama. But I encourage you to visit their blogs aka circle jerks. There you can read all their attacks against me. There is not a finer example of self-delusion and denial than to watch these people try to comfort each other in the face of what is largely scientific fact. You will hear a lot of theories being thrown around, but notice that none of it resembles facts. They haven’t even read the material here or anywhere pertaining to personality disorders, but yet they are enraged.

      Everything posted here is the truth, and can be confirmed by any expert in the medical profession. The fact that they are so opposed to this blog says a lot about their condition. And the extent of their denial.

  12. savorydish said

    “Oh, I certainly wouldn’t deny my disordered behavior, nor the diagnosis’s that go along with my trauma (you figured that out! How perceptive! You stun me with your powers of deduction!). “-Teressa
    @Trsa
    Is there a reason why you post in twos? lol. You’re funny. With or without me, it’s still a circle jerk. I don’t need the attention like you do. But I appreciate it.

  13. savorydish said

    @trsa,

    Are trying to woo me? lol.

    I’m afraid I’m not screwed up enough for you. Birds of a feather flock together and I still have most of my feathers intact. You require the attention of someone who has a history of deep trauma. I would not be able to provide you with the level of abuse that you are accustomed to. True I am a jaded lover, but you need someone who is profoundly fucked up. Have you tried ringing up the local correctional facility?

  14. savorydish said

    My Dear Trsa,
    Are you trying to pull me down to your level?
    What does that say about your self-esteem? Do you think demonizing me and devaluing me will change the facts of the case? You can not harass me into changing the laws that govern human behavior. Even if you could shut this blog down with your juvenile trolling, there would still be hundreds of other blogs with identical information. Do you intend to take on the whole medical community as well?

  15. savorydish said

    My Dearest Teressa,

    I’d love to grab a bite to eat with you, but I’ve sworn off damaged women. I’ve had my fill. I need to make healthier choices now. And I would venture to guess that you do too.

    You don’t have to believe what I say about my ex. But if you were to look at your own history, I’m certain you will find identical patterns of behavior. The validity of my story lies with the millions of other survivors of dysfunctional relationships. They too can confirm my story. Disordered people and their abusive tendencies are consistent and universal. I invite you to stay, read some more posts and learn something about yourself. If you dare.

  16. savorydish said

    Dearest Teressa,
    I apologize for my “blitheness”. When you have been callously treated by someone who has the unique ability to suck you into her drama and then spit you out without care, blitheness becomes a necessary coping mechanism. Emotional detachment is the only way you can survive a dysfunctional relationship. But if you expect me to warm up to your sarcasm and abusive manner, you may be waiting for a while. Part of my healing has been to unlearn my own patterns and this includes walking away from certain addictions. Addictions to abusive personalities in particular. So you will have to sell your wares elsewhere.

    If you wish to “settle” in, please by all means… But I must warn you, the material here contains a dangerous amount of the Truth. To healthy individuals, the Truth is harmless. But to those with a history of trauma, the truth can literally trigger unpleasant emotions and memories. I can assure you, this is no “funhouse”. As I’ve said before, you are not the first troll to cross my path. Hundreds of trolls have all come and gone. The Truth was too much for their delicate sensibilities. So much so they had to shut me out. My ex was one of those who could not deal with the truth. You are no different. But if you are willing to take the journey of self-discovery, you are welcome to stay.

    Your arrogance is nothing new. They were all cocky in the beginning. Sure of their intent. But the Truth has a way of rocking the house of cards. Things that you have kept locked away for a lifetime will surface and your defense mechanisms will crumble. I know you think you are ever so clever, but I’ve seen your tricks before.

    How do you think I knew about your past? Am I psychic? Do I have magical powers of perception. No, but I do have a good amount of knowledge about people just like you. So sit and stay a while. And I will share this knowledge with you.

  17. savorydish said

    Don’t flatter yourself my dear Teressa.
    You can TRY to demonize me, but that does not mean I FEEL demonized. I know you are seeking empowerment and control in your otherwise chaotic life, but you won’t find it here. I know that breaks your narcissistic heart, but you’re out of your league. You’re a bored child swinging in the air. Your haughtiness only reveals your inferiority complex. You’re seeking to fight demons from your past, but they do not reside here.

  18. savorydish said

    @trsa
    Good lord you’re long-winded. Don’t get much attention in that small town of yours I guess. It must be hard being “different” in a town like that.

    Unlike you I’m not doing this for attention, I’m doing this to spread awareness about people just like you. The might of my words has nothing to do with my wordsmithing or my powers of perception, it has to do with the power of the truth. You should try it some time. I’m not trying to take credit for this info. It’s not mine to take.

    I WANT people to know this information is readily available on the internet. This clears up any suspicions that I have made all of this up. Which is why I have provided links to all the info here. I need no credit. I seek no credit. I will be happy when we live in world where troubled people can no longer get away with silent abuse. This can only happen when everyone knows what I know.

    I am very aware that I have been driving down the wrong lane. I’ve known this for a long time. Long before you broke the “news” to me. Each relationship I have had only confirms this. I thought this last one was different, but she was just better at hiding her disorder. Much more manipulative than the rest. As I said this is a journey of self-discovery and discovery about others. It’s not easy breaking old habits, but as I said it starts with making healthier choices and arming myself with knowledge. Anybody can do what I’m doing. And they should. This world can only benefit from more people spreading awareness about PDs.

    Good night and good luck.

  19. savorydish said

    I don’t doubt your life is dull as dirt, my dear teressa. Like I said you are no different than the rest of the trolls. Different location. Same situation. A socially awkward child who trolls the internet looking for drama to fill the void. But somewhere in your past, there has been a traumatic event (maybe more than one) that altered your life’s path. A person who has been traumatized becomes an adrenaline junkie. Conditioned by years of abuse to seek out instability. Looking for conflict and chaos, even though you know it will ultimately spell more pain for you. Oddly enough, such chaos brings you the comfort of familiarity. These are lifelong patterns.

    Eventually, you will get bored of that small town of yours and move to the closest big city. Like all drama queens you believe excitement and a new city will change your life for the better. But you will become a small fish in a sea of predators. You will think that you are running away from your past, but in fact your past will always follow you. And until such time that you decide you will stop playing silly games and take a long hard look at yourself, you will always find tragedy and disappointment. But that’s enough truth for tonight. Till next we meet.

  20. […] no new posting today. I’ve been busy entertaining the troops over in the comment section at this ole post. Nothing new for longtime readers. Different troll. Same old tricks. I sometimes wonder if they […]

  21. savorydish said

    “My goodness, in my rush to get the morning started I’d forgotten all about you! Shameful! Does this deserve a spanking?

    (Oh, I do hope it does…)” -Teressa

    I believe I gave you a spanking the other day.

  22. savorydish said

    Found on QBert’s blog:
    “wow, the fact that i haven’t been to my dashboard to post his comments has REALLY pissed off”
    (Notice the self-congratulatory tone. This is a person desperately looking for some self-esteem, a sense of empowerment and importance)

    Dear QB,

    Do you want me to say I’m REALLY angry? Do you want me to say you have effectively worked me into a lather? lol. ARRRRRRGH ME ANGRY!!! lol. Do you want to believe that you have a hold on me? Does this satisfy your narcissistic fantasies of manipulative victory? Do you try to control others, because someone long ago took that control from you? We are learning more and more about what makes people like you tick. Thank you for participating.

  23. savorydish said

    Shakesville is just another Tigerbeatdown. I can understand why survivors need a place to call their own. They however are not so understanding.

    They throw rocks at this blog, because they can’t handle it when someone portrays them as anything but the victim. The worst part is the disinformation. The fact that none of them have taken the time to read my blog, suggests they were angry before they even found out about my blog. One poster suggested I dumped someone who confessed they had been raped. Clearly she did not read my post (or read it carefully). She read into my post what she wanted to hear. If she is reading this, I have never dumped someone because they were raped. If anything they dumped me because they were raped. If you had bothered to comprehend what you were reading… if you had left your preconceived notions at the door… you would have known that.

    • savorydish said

      What’s interesting to note is that I’m basically doing the same thing they’re doing.
      But when I do it, they call it abuse.
      When they do it, it’s called activism.

      Do you smell the horseshit? Basically they are saying that survivors are above reproach. They use that survivor status as a weapon. And they will bash you over the head, if you do not subscribe to their theories. In their world, theories weigh more than facts. Presenting facts is an abuse in their minds.

      • savorydish said

        What they are TRYING to do is discredit me. Everyone who calls them out on their bullshit is a troll. And they are the saviors of the world. wink wink. Untreated survivors live in a delusional world of their own creation. Filled with sunshine and marshmallows. Reality is a dark reminder of the past.

        They make it sound like it’s a horrible crime to analyze someone, but they do it every day. Society is screwed up, but they’re perfectly fine.

        They don’t like it when the focus is placed on them. They don’t even like it when there’s a general discussion about disorders and trauma. These people are uncomfortable with the truth. The truth carries the burden of shame.

      • savorydish said

        For once, I’d like one of them to have the balls to come here and engage me in a debate. No trolling. No silly games. No bullshit theories. No ad hom attacks. Facts vs facts. If they want to be posted here so badly, come bearing facts. Leave the bullshit and denial at the door.

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