Shady O’Doyle Feels Besieged

March 9, 2011

Poor Shady. Can somebody please help her with this? Is there some kind of immunization shot we can give her? Is there some way to rally Tiger Downers to her defense? Can we institute a no-fly zone? God Save the Queen!

The funny part is- It’s her “job” to attack people she doesn’t even know, but then she gets upset when the tables are turned on her. I could write hundreds of posts about people who abuse the victim mentality, but nothing would come close to describing the comical but tragic nature of these melodramatic upstarts better than their very own words:

The worst mental state I can get into — and I visit it, a lot! — is the one where I feel continuously, purposefully besieged. Like the one where the whole world is just OUT! TO! GET! ME! And is plotting behind my back, specifically for the purpose of GETTING ME. And I respond to any vaguely hostile or critical feedback accordingly.

And, like I said. I’m there a lot. There was a point in time — maybe right around the point where I’d started to get known — when I used to check my RSS feed every day, looking for someone to be making a shitty comment about me, or making fun of me. If I didn’t find anything (and I rarely did; not a lot of people read me) I would find something and interpret it as (a) hostile, and (b) directed at me. I usually didn’t respond, because I didn’t want to piss anyone off, and I’m glad I didn’t; getting hurt feelings over someone else’s post, or imagining that it was About Me, was often just a sign that I was feeling oversensitive about a certain topic. Imagining that people are criticizing you — carrying your critics’ perceived voices around in your head — is actually great, because if they seem in any way correct, you can adjust before someone actually yells at you. Or you can have a comeback ready. Another reason I used to have so much Internet-based paranoia was that I was scared, and that was not without basis or justification; it’s typical for women in my line of work to get a ton of really vicious feedback, and that didn’t happen to me for a long time, and so I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It dropped. I got a sense of what it was like to be genuinely besieged. Which is kind of great, because now it’s much easier for me to avoid responding to petty, mild, obviously personally motivated, or baseless criticism. You take a deep breath, you recognize where it’s coming from, you don’t spend the entire day obsessing over it (which you can afford, if people aren’t criticizing you constantly) and you don’t write 1,000 words on what a stupid douchenozzle the critic is. They might be! But they’re also the 20th person to criticize you today, so really, are you prepared to write 20,000 words today? Is that something you can afford to do? No? Let ‘em be…

I have this very cold, hard, mean reaction when I get the sense that someone is trying to manipulate me emotionally. It’s part of My Deal, the instinctive resistance to manipulation, the instinctive anger…

Fuck you. I’m a great person. I love you very much, and I know that. If you really loved me, you’d stop implying that I’m an asshole so that I’ll do shit for you. How ‘bout that? And yet, feminist bloggers do the If You Really Loved Me maneuver all the time. I do it. It’s an infuriating, codependent, passive-aggressive, dishonest maneuver that we practice constantly, because it works…

And I can see why. The fact is, any criticism or offensive thing you respond to will probably be the twentieth or fiftieth criticism and/or offensive thing that you’ve seen that day. And the one that finally gets to you gets all the anger you’ve built up from the others. And it is, really, easy to believe that no-one Really Loves You. So, as far as I can see, as long as shit remains fucked up, we’re going to feel besieged, and overreact, and I wish I had a motivating and inspirational way to end this thought, but as far as I can see there is really no way out.

(This is just a taste of the troubled mind behind Shady O’ Doyle. If you really want to read the whole rant, you can click the link above.)

If only Shady and Co would let people be. But they have an insatiable need for drama. And they’ve already pissed off everybody in their immediate circle. So they spread their misery around. Luckily, internet technology allows them to harass people they don’t even know. They say they are terribly busy and important, but miraculously they always have time to harass people.

How odd that she has spent her whole life antagonizing the world-at-large, but can’t figure out why people are “OUT TO GET HER”. She is a self-proclaimed unhinged bitch, and can’t figure out why people hate her so much. She concludes that the world must be out to “GET HER”. Her narcissism allows no other explanation.

Why are they picking on poor little her? Maybe because she’s the one picking fights, picking fights an emotionally fragile person can not possibly win. She’s the one making baseless criticisms. As in not based on facts. Just based on theory and rage. Then she has the nerve to project her irrational behavior onto others.  A little psychotic? A little.

A month ago, I didn’t even know who Shady Doyle was.  Nor did I care. But then she came pounding on my door insisting she knew all about me and my relationships. She had me all figured out, because (as a feminist blogger) she knows all, tells all. She even recruited a 100 of her most mental followers and instructed them to throw screaming cats at me.

And now she feels besieged. (that’s me, shaking my head)

Oh Shady, you’re on a path of self-destruction and you don’t even know it. You’re following in your borderline father’s footsteps, but you’re too self-righteous and self-pitying to see what others can see clear as day. Which is fine. If you want to unravel, no one can stop you. But here’s the thing about self-destructive people. It’s a little bit of a misnomer. Because Self-Destructive People (like Shady, like Garland, like Lex, like my Ex) are never content to ruin their own lives.

Maybe it’s Schadenfreude. Maybe it’s the Crab Mentality. But these Self-Destructive People are determined to take people down with them. My borderline ex pulled me into her life, even though she knew she had a troubled past. Even though she knows she’s emotionally unstable. She knows she has a history of betraying people’s trust. But yet she continues to pull people into her troubled life without concern for their well-being.

At one time, these tragic souls might have had legitimate claims to victimhood. But they have been abused for so long it has become ingrained into their being. Somewhere along the line, they turned from abusees to abusers. True, it’s not always intentional. But that’s how ingrained abusive behavior is in their programming. They can abuse without effort.

All this would be fine if they punished the people that deserved to be punished- like rapists, pedophiles and murderers. Or the bullies in the schoolyard that initially traumatized them. But instead they punish loved ones- family members, boyfriends, girlfriends, anyone who is foolish enough to get close to them. They lash out indiscriminately.  Like all cowards they go after easy prey. People who are emotionally vulnerable. People with a generous nature and kind disposition. People they can take advantage of.

Maybe the reason why loved ones are always implying that Shady’s an asshole is… she is an asshole. You want to feel sorry for these people. You really do. At least, I do. But the Untreated act like assholes all the time. And it’s really really hard to feel sorry for an asshole.

6 Responses to “Shady O’Doyle Feels Besieged”

  1. savorydish said

    @FigLatin,
    Enough about me, let’s talk about you. Why so much rage? Did your father beat you?

    • savorydish said

      You see, my obsession is not so much with my ex as it is abusive personalities. I want to know what makes them tick. What makes you tick, Figgy?

      • savorydish said

        I get the feeling that something terrible happened to Figgy.

      • savorydish said

        I’m always suspicious when critters like Figgy are so irrationally upset. Her need to demonize me is a defense-mechanism that I have seen with all victims of abuse. Demonization is a tactic meant to discredit the critic.

        What we’re seeing again and again is more black and white thinking, paranoia, and extreme rage. They are all a little bit to eager to devalue my suffering, this points to guilt from their past. These are all people who have caused pain and suffering for loved ones. Call it BPD, CPTSD, or whatever you like. But the signs are unmistakable. This blog attracts them like fly to honey. The honey being the truth.

      • savorydish said

        These people crack me up. They expect me to believe they’re concerned about my ex. A person they don’t even know. It’s clear from their comments that these people are too self-absorbed to be thinking about someone else. This is PERSONAL. This blog is about them. That is why they’re so angry.

  2. savorydish said

    Miss Lex was overheard saying:
    “…invalidating my whole experience as a woman within our culture.”

    Are these sheep capable of independent thought? Or are they just reading from the Book of Man Hate?

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