The Emotionally Unstable Put On A Good Act

February 15, 2011

Shawna Forde is on trial for murdering an innocent family including a nine yr old girl, because she thought they were robbing Mexican drug dealers. Here we have a YouTube vid where she seems fairly composed and somewhat rational for a murderous racist. BTW she says she’s innocent. Where have I heard that one before? Notice how she portrays herself as being victimized. Where have we seen this before?

The emotionally unstable can put on a good act. They have to in order to survive in the real world. If they really have something to hide, they can even disguise themselves as activists or concerned citizens. A perfect disguise. Which is why I’m always concerned about people who spread messages of hate, but then put on a smiley face for the cameras. But when the cameras are off, you would be shocked how cruel and heartless they can be.

So why do some people have such a hard time believing my ex was emotionally abusive? Because she’s a self-proclaimed feminist? Because she was an alleged rape survivor? If a suspected murderer can fool people into believing that she’s an upright citizen, couldn’t my ex fool people into believing that she is a damsel in distress?

If she’s capable of covering up her infidelity, isn’t she capable of all sorts of lies and manipulations? If my ex has a history of cutting her wrists… That is, if she is capable of inflicting physical harm to herself, wouldn’t it stand to reason that she is capable of inflicting emotional harm onto others? Especially, if she thought she could get away with it.

The fact is emotionally damaged people are in extraordinary pain. Such people often complain about migraines or other mysterious physical ailments. These are physical manifestations of the pain they feel inside. When the pain becomes too much, that person must find ways to cope. Two ways they cope is self-destructive behavior (drinking, drugs, infidelity, questionable behavior, drama etc.) and the other is to lash out at others (emotional outbursts, picking fights, baiting, passive-aggressive behavior). This is the transferring of pain from one person to another.

I would regularly confront my ex about her abusive behavior. Sometimes she would break down and cry. But other times, she would just slip into a dissociative state (emotionally detached). She would get this smirk on her face. She boasted about what a good actress she was. She even seemed proud of her abusive behavior. This was all behind closed doors of course. Who would believe that an activist, a feminist, a progressive woman, a hip hop dancer who teaches kids could abuse another? Nobody. And that is why she gets away with it.

The truth is she is very capable of hiding dark secrets. She’s been doing it her whole life. She’s hiding a lot of pain. A lot. Pain that has been passed onto others. Looking at her, you wouldn’t think she would be capable of such abusive behavior. I only recognized her pain, because I have trained myself to look for these signs.  I’ve only known her for a year, and yet I was able to pick up the signs. Her family has known her for her whole life and yet they think she’s perfectly fine. Denial is part of the reason her pain, and the pain of others, continues.

It’s sad that in this day and age, we’re not more conscious of these things. We worry about the environment, we worry about trans fats, we worry about social inequality, but yet people hardly ever talk about mental health. Look around you. There’s a lot of people walking around with untreated pain. You can see it. You can feel it. I’m not talking about people who are stressed out from traffic or work. I’m talking about untreated trauma. Deep-seated anguish. Let’s get these people the help they need, and put an end to the pain for all of us.

23 Responses to “The Emotionally Unstable Put On A Good Act”

  1. savorydish said

    Penny,

    Why do you care? If you’re so certain my pain is insignificant, then why do you keep making an issue out of it. IT’S NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS, ASSHOLE. Get a life. What I write here is my business. You weren’t in the relationship. It’s really creepy that you are involved to this degree. You know jack shit about me, her and us. If it gets your panties in a bunch, then leave. Nobody is forcing you to stay and read.

    Do you really think insulting me is going to change a thing? All you’re doing is adding more fuel to the fire. You’re a god damn drama queen. You’re lashing out at me because you’ve been bullied all your life. Because you were teased for who you are. And now you’re doing the same exact thing. Do you appreciate the irony here. You hate me because all your life you thought you were the innocent victim, but I have shown everyone how you have become the bully. You’re the asshole that you speak of.

    And now you’re trying desperately to project your shame onto me. And it ain’t gonna work. Get that through your thick skull.

    • savorydish said

      So I’m not allowed to criticize your criticisms?
      Maybe you’re the one who needs a thicker skin. If I couldn’t take your opinions, you would have been blocked a long time ago.
      I’m only entertaining your comments, because I can handle it. get it?

  2. savorydish said

    ps- you’re constant dismissal and devaluation only reinforces the notion that the emotionally damaged are incapable of feeling compassion for their victims. I can only imagine what your partners must have gone through.

  3. savorydish said

    I’m not suggesting my ex is a murderer. Only a melodramatic moron would draw that conclusion. There are different degrees of crazy.

    Some would say it’s crazy to cut your own wrists. But yet given enough pain, a human being is capable of anything.

    Look at yourself Garland. See how your pain translates to non-stop harassment because the truth is too painful for you. So you lash out. Hoping I will stop if you attack me enough times. This is the childish thinking we have seen over and over again from people like you.

    And then you go to your seminars and present yourself as some sort of moral leader. A pattern of deception is a sign of a personality disorder. That was the only message here. Some disordered people abuse psychologically, others commit murder. I think you’d be surprised how many similarities there are between a person like you and a person like Shawna Forde.

    People on death row also grew up in dysfunctional families. All of them were abused in some way. Your history is not that different from theirs. So you can be as morally indignant as you want. But these are common patterns.

  4. savorydish said

    I’m not asking for your pity or your opinion. This post was not written to elicit sympathy. It’s here to set the record straight. So if you think it’s drivel then move on. You’re still avoiding my question:WHY DO YOU CARE?
    Is your own life so boring you need to take on other people’s drama? You’re avoiding my question, because you’re afraid of the answer. This is not about me, it’s about you.

    Guess what? If I decide to post my life and thoughts on the internet, there’s nothing you can do about it. Deal with that. You’re nothing but a sad sad control freak.

  5. savorydish said

    You creeps still haven’t answered the question: Why do you care?!?

  6. savorydish said

    Great if you don’t care, then why are you still here?
    Still flapping you gums as if I care what you think.

    I’ve only answered your absurd accusations to set the record straight and clarify my point.
    I’m only entertaining your presence to illustrate my observations of people like you.
    for instance the bizarre and unusual fact that you had nothing to do with this relationship, but yet you persist to obsess about it and comment as if you were there. Do you not find your behavior odd if not disconcerting?
    You’re very right- you have no emotional investment, but here you are flipping your lid on a daily basis.
    If you don’t care, move on. let go. that would be the logical conclusion.
    The fact that you can’t move on suggests something is not quite right in your head.

    • savorydish said

      So let me get this straight Penny…
      Reading articles written by an ex is creepy?
      But stalking me and my ex, even though you know neither of us, is perfectly healthy?
      Making an assessment of both of us, when you have no knowledge of us is suppose to convince me you know what you’re talking about?
      I see how your mind works.
      Gaslighting, projecting, denial… any other tricks you want to perform for us.

      Thank you for entertaining us with your fuzzy logic.
      You believe whatever makes you feel better.

      • savorydish said

        ps why can’t you just admit that you’re mad because I exposed you and your partner in crime for being opportunistic frauds and now you’re desperately trying to discredit and demonize me.

        We’ve established that you have no emotional attachment to either me or my ex and yet you have this strange obsession with both of us. My observations are based on facts and actually knowing this person for a year. Your opinions are based on hearsay, a wild imagination and a serious inferiority complex.

        And every time you keep coming back hoping to land a punch, you only end up making a bigger ass out of yourself. What do you have now tough guy?

      • savorydish said

        pps-yeah I guess you’re right… she is pretty put together for someone who has regular meltdowns, outbursts, passive aggressive and abusive tendencies, a mercurial temper, cheats on boyfriends, cuts her wrists, has a drinking problem, has been raped, molested and mugged. She is practically a model of mental health. You’re much better at this diagnosis thing than me. And you don’t even know her… Amazing!

        I guess I know why you and your partner or so popular amongst the troubled set. You tell’em exactly what they want to hear- “You’re ok! I’m ok!”
        And that’s why none of you are getting better. Good job Penny Garland! You’re providing an incredible service to the emotionally damaged.

  7. savorydish said

    Notice how I write a post about the emotionally unstable and you know who shows up with his tiny fists flying in the air.

  8. savorydish said

    In some strange way, I think these stragglers identify with me or with what I write. Clearly I’ve gotten too close for comfort.

    They say they despise me, but yet they keep coming back for more. It’s almost as if they long for my approval, but then they get upset when they read something that feels like rejection. I can’t help but think that all they really need is a hug.

  9. savorydish said

    With Avitty,
    I sense a great sadness. I know her type. She acts too cool for school. But that cold exterior is how she keeps people at a safe distance. But unfortunately for her it also keeps her lonely. I bet she’s a cat person. Lonely people love cats.

  10. savorydish said

    Penny aka Garland,
    You seem to have all the answers for someone who knows neither of us. lol.
    Someone who clearly knows nothing about personality disorders or rape-related trauma. The only thing you’ve revealed is how desperate you are.
    Your rants are becoming repetitive and therefore you are quickly losing your entertainment and educational value.
    Repeating your “assessment” (or rather “ass-hat-ment”) over and over again is not going to make you anywhere near right.
    So either come up with something of substance or at the least something new before you post again.
    Otherwise I will have to assume you are being a pest for the sake of being a pest and have nothing left to contribute.
    This is your last warning before you are marked as spam aka auto-trash.

  11. savorydish said

    Actually, this warning goes out to the rest of the mob as well. If you’re just here to spread spam and ad hom attacks, you will be deleted for being a nuissance. Either contribute something of value or leave. Or I will show you out the door.

  12. savorydish said

    I thought I’d share a quote from an admirer, a disciple of Shady and Garland’s. I think this will give you an idea of what an unstable mind sounds like when they’re not putting on an act:

    kill yourself. fucking kill yourself. die in a goddamn fucking fire. i’m glad you’re super impressed with your own objectivity and are using it against rape victims. i hope it keeps you warm at night, and i hope you die cold and alone and in horrible fucking pain.

  13. savorydish said

    Oh look, what I found. A quote from Garland Grey:

    “Because I am Garland Motherfucking Grey. And I troll for Social Justice.”

    Apparently, it’s his “job” to troll. And of course it’s all in the name of social justice (wink wink)lol.

    Just like it’s Shady’s job to piss people off.

    Are you getting a sense of who these people are? Do you see the pattern of conflict and chaos? This is why he keeps stalking me.

    Society won’t let them into the party, so they’re gonna trash the place.

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