Shady Sady Is At It Again

February 8, 2011

Time for a little post-game break down. No, I’m not talking about the gridiron battlefield. I’m talking about my tumultuous love affair with Shady Sady. Four days ago, I had no idea who Sady Doyle was. Then all of a sudden I’m getting thousands of visitors from her club of crazies. She doesn’t know me, yet she seems to think she knows everything there is to know about my relationship with my ex. Which is strange because I don’t recall being involved in a menage a trois.

Where is she getting this information from? Inquiring minds want to know, Shady Doyle. Anyhoo, here is HER breakdown of my relationship. Unfortunately, it’s only part of the story. It seems Shady Sady has been doing some cherry-picking of the “facts”. My comments are in parentheses.

  • She dumped him. (To be more accurate, she distanced herself when she realized I was distancing myself. But whatever makes you feel more empowered)
  • When they were in a relationship, she wanted more commitment, and he didn’t. (Borderlines have a tendency to rush into commitment-eg. getting married after 3 months. She wanted me to move in with her despite repeated sabotaging/abusive behavior on her part. Of course, I resisted.)
  • He used to go through her phone messages, and look for boys she’d been talking to, to which she very reasonably objected. (I went through her address book ONCE, after she revealed she had sex with a guy she insisted was just a “friend”.)
  • Because she maybe kissed someone else once or twice. This is literally the ONLY specific instance of questionable behavior on her part that he has EVER cited. (The first time, she got drunk and kissed a guy IN FRONT OF ME AND ALL HER FRIENDS. She was so drunk, I had to remind her. The second time, she had sex with a guy she said was just a “friend”. If you think this is the only questionable behavior on her part, then clearly you are not picking up a pattern of manipulative/sabotaging behavior. That would explain Shady’s pattern of abusive relationships. But why is Shady making excuses for my ex’s questionable behavior?)
  • No word on whether this was happening during the “I don’t want commitment” phase. (The first incident happened when we were fully committed, obviously that changed the game. The second incident happened after I forgave her and she had agreed to quit drinking and seek therapy. She cheated on me a second time, after I had introduced her to my whole family. Needless to say she continued drinking and dropped therapy after three sessions)
  • Also, when she was angry, she was “silent” about it.(WoW. This shows some serious denial. She did have silent periods where she stewed and retreated to a dissociative state. But this was more of a simmer that would lead to her snapping or her having a major meltdown or her being unfaithful)
  • She “made him” say and do “things” that were cruel and abusive, for which he blames her entirely. (when someone cheats on you and embarrasses you in public, you would be surprised what comes out of your mouth. When they apologize and do it again, then they are just asking for it. I’m seeing a lack of personal accountability here.)
  • She did go to therapy, to cope with her sexual assault; her therapist told her after three sessions that she was doing very well and didn’t have to keep coming unless she felt the need, which she didn’t.(She went to therapy after I insisted she go to therapy. This was after the first incident of cheating. I agreed to forgive her and come back as long as she she showed she was taking responsibility for her condition.  She agreed because she wanted me to stay not because of her rape. She has allegedly cut her wrists, been molested, been raped, been mugged. To say she’s been traumatized is a mild understatement. But yet after just 3 sessions, she and her therapist agreed she was all right. I would like to know what miraculous treatment cures trauma of this magnitude in a matter of three days. That therapist deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. Or… more likely my ex is a bullshit artist of the highest caliber. You decide.)
  • She was moving to L.A. ( She has a pattern of embarrassing herself in every city she has ever lived in and running away to another city to avoid shame)
  • He didn’t want to move with her.( I had legit reasons, but mostly I found it hard to trust her after our disastrous trip to SF and the Sunshine Coast. The closer we became, the more volatile she became. This was an indication of a woman who had deep fears of intimacy. A woman who alternates between push and pull)
  • So she dumped him. (She distanced herself after I told her I was having problems moving to LA with her. But I still had intentions of making it work. It was at this time that she began picking fights over little things. This made me pull away. Much like her mother, she began spending time with male “friends”. When I questioned her about it, she blew up at me and had one of her famous meltdowns. She insisted on taking a “break”. She said she had to spend time with her friend who had cancer. In reality, she was milking a relationship with one of the “friends”. When she revealed she had sex with her “friend”, I blew up at her. This is when things became volatile. One day we would kiss and make up, the next day she would throw a temper tantrum and make bizarre accusations. But these accusations were really excuses to push me away and eventually break contact)
  • She has since gotten married. ( She met a guy as soon as she reached LA. This was months after our break up. She rushed to close the deal before he could pick up on her eccentricities. They are currently in their honeymoon period. He has no idea what she has in store for him)
  • And cut off all contact with him. ( we had a period of make-ups and break ups after her second act of infidelity. She cut me off the first time, but came back to me when the friend she had sex with rejected her. She used me to comfort her when she felt lonely. We agreed to stay friends. I was happy with this arrangement. But as soon as she found a replacement, she cut me off again)
  • So he started an entire blog specifically to lie about, harass, and hurt her. ( I started this blog when I first started dating her. It was a blog about my interests. Our break up was more traumatic than most break ups I’ve had. Of course, I chose to write about it. Through the course of writing and research, I began learning more about why she acted the way she did. I found out that I was actually a victim of BPD abuse and manipulation. It was a shock to me. This was not the answer I was looking for, it was the answer that I found. Everything in my blog is true. The truth is sometimes painful. It is my intention to raise awareness of BPD abuse and share my side of the story. No punches have been pulled, nor should they be. If anything I have shown great compassion by showing that she is a troubled woman. I could have easily depicted her as an evil bitch. But instead, I have chosen to show that much of her horrid behavior can be linked to her disorder. You can put whatever label on it that helps you sleep better at night. But the diagnosis is not as important as the pattern of abusive behavior.  The words ‘borderline” and “BPD” serve only to help identify a set of emotionally-abusive behaviors. Even if the label doesn’t work for you, the pattern of behavior is unmistakable.)

Now which version seems more accurate and sensible, less biased. As you can see the story changes quite a bit when you allow for more details and more honesty. When your facts aren’t tainted by a political agenda. Shady Sady, I don’t mind you telling my story but at least have the decency to get the whole story. What you have done here is unethical and is why I have dubbed you Shady Sady. If you did get this info from my ex, it doesn’t make her look very good either. If you’re a good person you’ll post an apology and post this version in place of the current post. Please don’t make me speak to your mother about this.

Coming up next, an analysis of her analysis of my analysis. Confused? Then stay tuned for more.

Unholy Union

9 Responses to “Shady Sady Is At It Again”

  1. savorydish said

    Shady Sady is a perfect example of the kind of company my ex keeps. What was I saying about BPs being bad judges of character?

  2. savorydish said

    What troubles me the most about you so-called advocates is the fact that you are apologizing for questionable behavior.

    You say you’re anti-abuse, yet you participate in mass abuse and enable others to perpetuate abuse by excusing their behavior. You encourage Shady and my ex to badmouth me, but you curse me for doing the same.
    Your hypocrisy knows no bounds.

  3. skyeee said

    As a person, not just a vagina, with BPD…I can relate to this on every level.

    I treated my ex like complete shit. I made him cry…weep in front of me. I told him he was nothing without me. I cheated on him. I lied. I tore him the fuck down. He NEVER deserved it. I feel awful to this day for it. The only thing I can be so happy for is that he has found a lovely girl (I don’t know her) and they are in love. I’m so glad he found someone to uplift him. I’m regretful for making him think he was less than amazing.

    Secondly, I’m so happy I’m not that disgusting person anymore. My husband is amazing and I try to make a point to make him feel that way everyday. I grew up. I quickly realized I didn’t want to be that person to the people I love so dearly. I love my husband and place him above my children…something more won’t understand until they have this.

    I might have breakdowns that end me up in the hospital, but at least I can admit my faults. I am here to pass no judgment, but if I could take you, Savorydish, out for coffee so we could spend limitless hours discussing and healing, I surely would.

    • savorydish said

      Skye you are a living testament to the fact there is life after diagnosis.
      People are angry because they perceive BPD as being a four letter word of sorts, an insult.
      If they could only see how civil our exchanges have been, they would see that I judge people by their character and not their disorder.
      in reality BPD is not so much the problem as it is the way people treat each other.
      We should get together for coffee someday. Maybe the next time I’m in NYC. You’re a good egg.
      Thanks for being the voice of sanity.

  4. savorydish said

    Dear Alex Warrick,
    I can see why a creep like yourself would be jealous of the mutual respect that Skye and I share.
    The misery in your tone of voice says it all.
    Perhaps if you warmed your heart, others could look past your repulsive personality.

  5. savorydish said

    You’re quite right my bitter friend,
    I must thank Shady for introducing me to the sad and pathetic members of Tiger Jerk Off. We are quite the dynamic duo Shady and I. Together we have become a potent force in the battle to spread awareness about angry faux-minists. We rock!!!!

  6. savorydish said

    Oh unkind Penny
    You seem determined to hurt my feewings almost as if you yourself have been hurt in this process.
    Have I been too rough on you my dear?
    Just give me the word and I will treat you like the delicate flower that you are.
    You accuse me of being repulsive but yet you can’t seem to get enough of me. Is it my Axe body spray?

  7. savorydish said


    I have offered peace
    and all you are doing is adding to the fire.
    think real hard about the accusatory comments you send my way

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