The Glamorous Life

January 16, 2011


My borderline ex is obsessed with the glamorous life. One of the many things that was passed down from her mother, the one time model. Her fashion blogger idol is the Glamourai. She has copied everything- her blog, her look, and her life. This is typical of a borderline personality, especially one with histrionic traits. Their condition has left them without a sense of identity, so they adopt someone else’s.

When she was an angry youth, she went through a goth phase and a hip hop phase. But as an adult, she has learned to cover up her dark side with glamor. If you know anything about BPD, you know her life is anything but glamorous. It has been a life marked with turmoil and chaos. She is faking it for her audience and for herself.  She wants you to believe her life is happy and fabulous because she doesn’t want you to see the sorrow. She doesn’t want to own up to all the horrible things she’s done. It’s easier for her to create an imaginary life in La La Land than to accept the truth.

Award season is upon us and it is easy for all of us to get caught up in the glamor. But let me remind you that life on the red carpet is not all it’s cracked up to be. La La Land attracts people with personality disorders because here they can re-invent themselves, start fresh. But this, like most things in Hollywood, is an act. It’s for the lights, the cameras and now the blogosphere/twittersphere.

An impressionable borderline like my ex is easily swept up in the glamor of Hollywood. She envies it and emulates it at the same time. She is a starry-eyed little girl trapped in a woman’s body. For her and many other high-functioning disordered people, glamor is a way to cover up the ugliness they feel inside.









In hindsight, some of these well-staged acts seem haunting now. Their train wreck lives have become fodder for gossip rags and the stuff of Hollywood legend. But let it be a reminder that mental illness, addictions and personality disorders can not and should not be ignored. Disordered people are very good at distracting the world and themselves. The people who need the most help are the least likely to seek help. They are too busy living the “glamorous” life.

But when you cover up pain, it grows. When an emotionally damaged person lives in denial, they not only loose touch with their pain, they loose touch with reality. They loose touch with the people they are hurting. This is when they are most likely to engage in outlandish, abusive and self-destructive behavior. These people are ticking time bombs. By the time the rest of the world catches on, it is usually too late.

2 Responses to “The Glamorous Life”

  1. Are you suggesting the stars you’ve pictured here have borderline personality disorder?

    • savorydish said

      First, let me say I’m not a mental health professional. The celebrities shown here were chosen for their out-of-control behavior. Behavior that is indicative of some type of personality disorder or addiction. BPD being one of the many possibilities.

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