The Lost Twin

January 6, 2011

What would happen if you were born a sole survivor of a twin pregnancy? It could be pretty traumatic for someone who is just entering the world. But could it be the reason why you display symptoms of borderline personality disorder? Althea Hayton seems to think so. She believes when one twin is lost, the other goes on to re-enact the life and death of the lost sibling. Could this be where the fear of abandonment has its origins?

She goes onto claim that characteristics of a womb twin survivor are often misdiagnosed as BPD. It should be noted that this is just a theory that has, so far, been rejected by medical journals. But I must say, in my exploration of BPD, this offers some possible explanations.

You see, my borderline ex was a womb twin survivor. And this is just another twist in her story.  Or, at the very least, it offers more explanation for her strange behavior. Very little is known about the etiology of BPD. Consider this before you reject this one woman’s hypothesis. For me, it doesn’t change much. My perception of my ex will not change because of this. But it does confirm some suspicions that I had about her.

The story of being a surviving twin was just one of the many tragic stories that surrounded her. She had stories involving rape, kidnapping, and even murder. At the time, it puzzled me. How could one person experience so much tragedy? But this is the thing about BPs- they are magnets for tragedy. It is almost as if it is a cruel domino effect, one tragedy leading to another. It even affects the people that walk into a borderline’s life.

So whether or not there is any credence to this theory, the story remains the same. In the end, it doesn’t really matter what label we give their condition. It doesn’t really matter how it all came about. Sure, you could argue that finding the cause of the problem might help us treat these people or understand their condition.

But really it comes down to the person recognizing that he/she has a problem and then taking the initiative to seek help. I guess what I’m saying is this- it doesn’t really matter what happened in the past, if they’re not presently doing something to prevent tragedies in the future. The label may be different, but the tragic life remains the same.

3 Responses to “The Lost Twin”

  1. Althea said

    Having a womb twin survivor for a partner is tough if they are stuck in that “terror of abandonment” stuff and dumping all their inner pain on their intimates. The BPD link with womb twin survivors is there to be seen when you know how to look, but not yet backed up with any reliable stats. However I do have 1000 responses now to my questionnaire and the stats from my research will be out for analysis soon. So keep an eye on my blog for results. The great news is that there is hope and healing for the people diagnosed with BPD who are womb twin survivors. A clear-cut psycho-spiritual healing process is gradually emerging, which will help a lot. Well done – good blog!


    • savorydish said

      Thank you for your research. You provided a much-needed missing link. It was obvious my ex had BPD. I assumed it was caused by some sort of trauma. I just wasn’t sure where the fear of abandonment was coming from. But when I stumbled upon your blog, everything just fell into place. All of a sudden, it all made perfect sense.

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