Treated vs Untreated Borderline

November 1, 2010

As I said in the comment section two posts ago, the difference between treated borderlines and untreated borderlines is remarkable.  I’m not even talking about someone who’s been cured after years and years of therapy. I’m talking about someone who is still going through the eye of the storm, but has taken full responsibility for her condition. Someone who has done research on her condition and sought to make amends for past misdeeds:

I had so much guilt for the shit I put one of my ex boyfriends through, it haunted me. It was on my mind from the moment I woke up. Finally, I got the courage to apologize. I don’t know if he took it sincerely or even took a moment to think about it, but it felt better.

An untreated BP would find it difficult, if not impossible, to apologize for hurting someone.  They might not even realize they have done something wrong. But the woman above made a choice. A commitment to make life better for herself and her loved ones. It’s this choice that makes all the difference. If you read her blog, you’ll see she is still going through the ups and downs of BPD. But she’s aware of her thoughts and the consequence of her actions. More importantly she’s talking about it. She’s not in denial. She’s not blaming someone else. She’s holding herself accountable:

I now understand the reasoning behind my constant infidelity with all my previous relationships. I could never stay. I wanted something new and even now, it’s a hard thing to keep control of. I can totally understand the reason for the suicide outcomes being so high. It’s a constant battle in your mind and you so desperately want people near, but in return get scared. Then your behaviors are so outrageous or unpredictable, over time people cannot tolerate them.

Running away isn’t going to solve anything. Jumping from one broken relationship to another won’t make things better. You have to make things better. No one said it would be easy. But things do get better. It takes a lot of courage to change but there’s no other way.

3 Responses to “Treated vs Untreated Borderline”

  1. savorydish said

    The title of the post is “treated vs untreated”. But I want to give credit to people who are self-treated. People who have taken the initiative to make themselves better. I’m sure a lot of pros would object to this. But therapy is expensive and out of reach for most people. So I see no reason why people shouldn’t take their well-being into their own hands. The internet and bookstores are filled with info. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than nothing. Anything is better than denial or superficial quick fixes (eg. alcohol, running away, serial relationships).

  2. skyeee said

    Ugh, seriously…your words are too sweet ! You have no idea the encouragement your words have brought to one person, let alone how many others. If you’d ever like to talk, feel free to email me.

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