Has Feminism Failed Women?

October 13, 2010

Apparently, the readers of Ms Magazine were not too happy about my comments regarding their beloved Tila Tequila. How dare I suggest that she is a money-grubbing attention whore? How dare I suggest that she had a history of self-induced drama? How dare I suggest that she is emotionally troubled? How dare I suggest that there are better role models out there for women? How dare I suggest she is anything but a bona fide “victim of oppression”.

Not only have the readers of Ms Magazine given me a very negative rating (lol), they have even deleted some of my comments in regards to the aforementioned article. It seems the only welcomed comments are the typical regurgitation of basic feminist theory. When a feminist is threatened, she will accuse you of being “culturally misinformed”. And if they are really desperate, they will accuse you of supporting the “she was asking for it” argument. In other words, she will accuse you of condoning rape. It doesn’t matter what the topic is. If you disagree with them, you will find yourself on the “slippery slope” of condoning rape. If you criticize someone who shows a lack of integrity (and they happen to be a woman)… well then, you my friend, condone rape.

It seems these feminists only want to talk about social oppression and sexual repression. Any talk of abuse-related disorders is uncomfortable and they will quickly shut you down. Too personal, I guess. These feminists (especially the young ones) seem to be highly educated but are shockingly ignorant of the real world.  They have spent most of their life hidden behind books, and therefore find it hard to see life the way it really is. And god forbid, they take a long hard look at themselves. They have been drinking kool-aid from the same container for so long, they are disgusted by the taste of something different. This ignorance is not from a lack of intelligence, but from a fear of the truth.

These women are intentionally wearing blinders for fear of what they might see. They want you to believe that they fight for social justice, but this is a front. Because the real battle is a personal one, perhaps a battle with a dark past. It is not hard to imagine that many of these women were once victims themselves (abuse, rape, alcoholism, neglect, etc.). Which may be why they see oppression and victimization everywhere. Once a victim, always a victim.

I make these observations, not too belittle feminists or their cause, but in hopes that the angry ones will confront their personal demons and stop taking their anger out on the world-at-large. Believe it or not, I can relate to the feeling of being victimized. But I also know that hostility only begets more hostility. I also believe that women are better served through self-empowerment as opposed to self-victimization. I believe that dealing with one’s issues is better than lashing out.

But here is the deleted comment for your viewing pleasure. It was in response to the only voice of sanity on the topic, a feminist by the name of lolcopter. She was the only commenter bright enough to realize that Tila Tequila was only fighting the release of the sex vid, because she wanted financial control over the profits. In other words, Ms. Tequila is hardly a victim:

I agree, it is very naive to think that Tila doesn’t want the publicity that will come with this sex video. She’s seen what it has done for Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton.The judge probably denied her request, not because he condones blackmail, but because he smells her bullshit. Women like Tila give all women a bad name. To portray her as a victim is to portray feminists as opportunistic bellyachers.

Do you think Michelle Obama worries about a sex tape emerging from her past. No, that would be absurd, right? Because she has class and character. Do you think Barack is plotting to blackmail her? Of course not. Things like this don’t happen to people with class and character. I know feminists are super sensitive to the “she asked for it” argument, but clearly Tila has created a life where drama is a natural byproduct.

Tila’s parents might have been hard working but people don’t just fall into drugs and rebellious behavior for no reason. They do these things because they either feel unloved or they are escaping a dark past.
Sometimes hard working parents emotionally neglect their children even though they shower them with material goods. Hard working parents, struggling in a new country, are often stressed out and that can lead to them abusing their child physically and mentally. Hard working parents can be over-critical because they demand a lot from themselves and their children.

People who have a shallow view of life are usually trying to avoid deeper, more painful emotions. “If you’re going to suck dick, suck dick for a Bentley”. Her quote says it all. This is a woman that has reduced intimacy to an exchange of goods and services. It’s obvious she has a serious personality disorder- borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic to name a few.

You go on to add that she laughed at Rihanna being beaten. A sign that she is desensitized and has probably experienced domestic violence in her past.  People with personality disorders often experienced emotional and physical abuse in their family. So I don’t believe for a second that all was well in the Tequila household.

If your boyfriend is blackmailing you with a sex vid, you might want to take a long hard look at why you seek out and attract this type of person. Emotionally damaged people are magnets for other emotionally damaged people.

People who are obsessed with creating a glamorous image are hiding something. And if they are as good at it as Tila Tequila, it’s because they have spent a lifetime covering up pain and suffering. She doesn’t need a court order, she needs a good therapist.

One Response to “Has Feminism Failed Women?”

  1. savorydish said

    My dear Joe,
    Bringing attention to someone with BPD is not about “shaming” or “having it in for someone”. It’s about making people aware of their horrible disease. If you are that concerned about your loved one’s reputation then I suggest you get her some help, instead of playing kid games.

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