August 23, 2010
Borderline Personalities that can’t deal with the pain of the past will put on a sunshine-y face for the world to see. But ultimately, they are trying to fool themselves. They are in active denial. For people who feel emotional pain as deeply as BPs, denial is an essential survival skill. But in the end, the denial does more harm than good. BPs in denial are running away from the pain they have caused others, and the pain that others have caused them.
When BPs can’t deal with feelings of anger and sadness, they push these troubling emotions down. When they can’t face their conscience, they suppress their shame. This is part of their coping mechanism. The problem is emotions that are pushed down eventually come back up with a vengeance, like a volcano that suddenly erupts. Or they plague a relationship with chronic hostility. Not to mention the long-term health effects of unresolved emotions.
The happy face is just a facade. Nothing is healed. Behind the scenes the suffering continues. When BPs fail to deal with their issues in a real way, they fail themselves and those closest to them.