Oh What a Tangled Web They Weave

August 20, 2010

In many cases a BP can be brutally honest, especially when they are criticizing someone else. They may even share their experience with sexual assault and other shocking revelations after only a few dates. But even with such displays of honesty, a Borderline Personality can also demonstrate behavior that resembles a pathalogical liar or a paranoid delusional :

Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder find it more difficult to distinguish reality from their own misperceptions of the world and their surrounding environment. While this may seem like a form of delusional disorder at times, it is actually caused by their intense emotions overwhelming their regular cognitive functioning. This is why people with BPD can sometimes excel in academia and the work place and yet totally lose control in their personal and family lives.

It’s hard to say a BP is a liar, because that would assume they know they are lying. Many times they are not even conscious of their deception. A BP believes their own bullshit. Their coping mechanism protects them from the truth if it is too painful. Especially, if that truth includes past trauma.

Most BPs have experienced a lot of pain in their lifetime, some have been hurt by people they trusted. It is then natural for them to be suspicious of everyone. This is not so much a paranoid delusion as it is hyper-vigilance. Even a loved one can be mistaken for the enemy (split black). If not kept in check, past traumatic memories can easily be transferred onto current experiences. And this can lead to false accusations or a smear campaign.

Below are some examples of the tangled webs they weave via the Out of the Fog website:

False Accusations – False accusations, distortion campaigns & smear campaigns are patterns of unwarranted or exaggerated criticisms which occur when a personality disordered individual tries to feel better about themselves by putting down someone else – usually a family member, spouse, partner, friend or colleague.

Baiting & Picking Fights – Baiting is the practice of generating a provocative action or statement for the purpose of obtaining an angry, aggressive or emotional response from another person.

Projection – Projection is the act of attributing one’s own feelings or traits onto another person and imagining or believing that the other person has those same feelings or traits.

Proxy Recruitment – Proxy Recruitment is a way of controlling or abusing another person by manipulating other people into unwittingly backing you up, speaking for you or “doing your dirty work” for you.

Altering reality is also a way of bringing relief to painful emotions like guilt and shame. BPs can do and say some horrible things. And for the hyper-sensitive BP, that is too much to bear. Denial then becomes second nature. This is the BP employing primitive survival instincts without even knowing it.

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