You Are Not Alone

August 3, 2010

For those who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder simple emotions can be overwhelming and debilitating. The fear of being alone is no exception. This is why you’ll find BPs rebounding from one relationship to another. When they are alone, they feel worthless and invisible. This is why a BP will rush into intimacy, sex, relationships and even marriage. This is why they are so quick to find “soulmates” or “the one”. They are so desperate to fill the void, they will even fool themselves into believing they are in love.

One reason for this sense of loneliness is the feeling that no one else knows what it’s like to be them. To compensate, most BPs create a false sense of themselves, so they can fit in with the rest of society. Most of us do this, but BPs tend to take things to its extremes.  Some will concoct an uber-glamorous image to cover up feelings of  inadequacy. They neglect their true self so much they become empty shells. This can lead to unattended feelings of self-hate, and sometimes, self-harm. Which is why it so important for people to let BPs know they are not alone.

To make matters worst, well-meaning family members and friends will try to cover up for the BP for fear the knowledge of a mental disorder will damage the loved one’s reputation. Perhaps they even fear they will lose the BP’s affection, if they push too hard. But in a way, these loved ones are inadvertently reinforcing the shame and guilt that comes with BPD. They are making the BP feel more alone and fueling fears of abandonment.

With that said, there is a solution -internet forums. BPD forums allow the BP to anonymously seek out answers. But more importantly, lets them know they are not alone. This is not a substitute for treatment, but a first step to recovery. The following is a quote from a woman who suspects she may have BPD:

I must be borderline. I’ve never talked to a professional but I’ve taken several tests online… This is how I act.
– I fall in love with people I don’t even know but if they truly like/love me I hurt them. I totally lose interest and hurt them. This is usually after a few months of building up their hopes and making them like me. Then it’s like there is a point where I just know I don’t want to be in the relationship anymore and just leave. But if the person I’m with is not really that into me but kind of just along for the ride for a little while I pick up on it and I get obsessed on why they don’t really want me. I hate being like this but I’m scared to tell people that I’m not normal.

If you have BPD, then you will probably relate to this frustration. There are millions of people out there with the same affliction, you just have to look for them. Instead of running away or covering up your frustrations, wouldn’t it be better to seek answers for all those unanswered questions?

Here’s more info. Good luck.

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